Does anyone ever have no money at all?

[Thiscantgoonlikethis]

I have a reasonable job (35K) , two children. I co-own a home and pay some of the expenses towards it (council tax, gas and electric, tv licence, virgin, food, insurance) and I run one cheap car. I drive 40 miles a day on my commute.
I owe quite a bit in debt, which accrued when I moved.
I often have no money at all. No money on credit cards to spend. But this month I am skint much earlier than usual.
I don’t want advise. I want solidarity. It feels so lonely. I’m not sure anyone I know lives like this. People are going to pub gardens or to the beach and I’m trying to find some change for a tube of tomato purée.
I’m terrible with money, that much is true. But when you are skint for years, it sort of changes your relationship with money. No one will lend to you so you end up with high interest CCs.
Please don’t tell me to get a better paid job, there isn’t one. I’ve tried. I’m qualified and in the NHS.

Yes I’ve been in and out of employment for the last three years contracts seem to last weeks not months now
And then there’s the inevitable gap in between it as if it’s 1 foot forward two steps back
Most people I know have resorted to shoplifting. I would never have done it in the past but I wouldn’t think twice about stealing a tube of tomato purée to be honest at this stage.
if you own your house it’s different but if you don’t I wouldn’t think twice about defaulting on the credit cards. Just fuck them off. It can’t get any worse and then the money that you would’ve been spending on interest and minimum payments put into a savings account and then you won’t need the credit card to begin with
Most people in employment never needed credit for essentials. They put luxuries on credit cards and then that led to them being in a position of not being able to afford essentials. It’s a trap. I wouldn’t think twice about letting it blow up in their faces.

Yip, this sounds like me. I used to be bad with money, now Im not but I just dont have enough of it on minimum wage.
I made £200 switching bank accounts this month and £75 doing two paid surveys this week though so I'm trying to be more savvy with my side hustles.

I know you said you don’t want advice, but go to your local citizens advice. They will
look through everything with you and will be able to help. You don’t need to be alone

Don’t resort to stealing. I know you don’t want advice, but it sounds like you need it as you said yourself you aren’t good with money. So do you want to live like this forever, as it sounds like you’ll never dig yourself out of this hole.

Do you have a partner? Kids dad? Does he pay anything towards them?

@Kaidaiathe irony is actually help people with benefits and budgeting as part of my job.

So you know what to do? You’re just not doing it.
Not much can be done to help you then until you help yourself

@Dilemma999he pays the mortgage. It’s hard as this is debt he doesn’t know about. We’re not together, he wouldn’t help. He doesn’t care

"Keep on doing what you are doing and you'll carry on getting what you always got"

You NEED advice OP. You surely don't want to carry on like this?

My DH was just like you when we met. He changed totally.

You say you’re terrible with money - what makes you say that?

Crazily so did my DH!

I don’t think I do spend excessively though, maybe I used to, and I’m still paying for it

Do you not keep records of what you are spending? No monthly budget?

How old are the kids? Does their father ever have them? How many hours a week do you work?

@WhitegreeNcandlefull time (44 hours)
we live together so he has them all the time

I did run out of money when younger, but so did nearly everyone else so it was normal and seen as temporary.

I know 2 people through a hobby who run out of money and it looks desperate, one can't afford to fix her car so has to take expensive taxis to get to work - it's a doom cycle shell never get out of. The other is on a low income but seems unable to budget, fortunately her parents top her up at the end of the month.

You sound like an intelligent person, are you to overwhelmed to tackle this? Single incomes are hard but with h paying the mortgage you likely have wiggle room and could get right with some effort.

@BMW58well I did one recently and my outgoings are £600 over my incomings

You’re on £35k but don’t have to pay the mortgage?

I think there are plenty of people with no money but yours sounds like bad management (which you do admit).

You need Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover.

I got out of debt and started saving for the first time in my life. It's possible but you need a plan.

You say you are terrible with money - that is where you start!

Write down all your spend. Every single amount and see what you can cut down.

I would be wary of giving up and letting credit cards blow up as advised upthread. I spent most of my adult life skint after growing up in poverty. I dragged myself out of it aged 32 but my credit rating, sad as it is, was very instrumental in getting me out. It wasnt perfect, and i learnt what it needed and what to do to get it good and make it work for me. Its not so much about being able to borrow vast sums, i dont like debt, but getting a mortgage for example.

I’ve got myself out of debt so many times. So many. I’ve had so many debt management plans. And then I get myself back into it all again!

My colleague who works part time with me has a part time job counselling for victim support, is a single mother (divorced) and opened up a plastic wallet yesterday containing £50 and £20 notes. She obviously is very good at budgeting. But she rents a housing association house and her car is leased.

OP if you can give a breakdown of income and outgoings, people may be able to provide some help.

Given your complex personal situation with your partner; are they actually paying half the costs of the children?

It’s depressing that an average wage is so difficult to raise a family on

Yes all the time.