Does anyone ever have no money at all?

[Thiscantgoonlikethis]

I have a reasonable job (35K) , two children. I co-own a home and pay some of the expenses towards it (council tax, gas and electric, tv licence, virgin, food, insurance) and I run one cheap car. I drive 40 miles a day on my commute.
I owe quite a bit in debt, which accrued when I moved.
I often have no money at all. No money on credit cards to spend. But this month I am skint much earlier than usual.
I don’t want advise. I want solidarity. It feels so lonely. I’m not sure anyone I know lives like this. People are going to pub gardens or to the beach and I’m trying to find some change for a tube of tomato purée.
I’m terrible with money, that much is true. But when you are skint for years, it sort of changes your relationship with money. No one will lend to you so you end up with high interest CCs.
Please don’t tell me to get a better paid job, there isn’t one. I’ve tried. I’m qualified and in the NHS.

I feel you, there is always something else to pay out for.

what survey sites do you use? The Jam Doughnut app is also good for cashback if you can remember to use it or Sprive but Sprive cash back is paid into your mortgage.

Yes, plenty of people live with no money at the end (or middle, or all) of the month. I’ve done so many times in my life. You’re not alone and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

There are things you can do to help yourself though. Even if it’s all stacked against you, you’re not powerless.

Before I inherited money in my mid 20s I was broke, no one lent me money though. I had a low paying job. Then I got a credit card and loans (I didn’t earn much) despite having an inheritance. The more I had the more I wanted. I spent money like water and on designer items. I got about £12K back in ppi. That was the catalyst though to rein in spending and manage my money (including inheritance).

You really have to want to get yourself out of debt. Maybe get a second job? Retrain more if you can.

So this debt accrued when you moved? Like moving fees, stamp duty etc? Surely this is a shared debt with your partner. Do all of your expenses add up to what he is paying or more? Does he earn more than you? Is he helping to pay kids expenses like clothes, day trips, school lunches etc?

If he is controlling with money or leaving you broke so your debt is increasing (and it sounds like the relationship is dead) you might be better off alone. You can claim UC then.

I have been there. I still don’t have as much money as I would like, but I have a few hundred in savings and I do have some money in businesses for real emergencies, although that money technically isn’t mine.

I think for me the worst is when I’m on a good path and I’m suddenly hit with large expenses - I had a time were I was collecting parking fines like gold coins, absolutly ridiculous - and I missed some letters, and that escalated. I’m sure I was scammed by my electric company as they added £1k to my bill one year, I worked hard to contest it but couldn’t and that also escalated and became debt. Im still dealing with that and other debts that accumulated.

It’s so hard. I’m still on the broke side, I have moments where I’m on the last £100 the week before payday and I’m wondering how I can create more of a cushion.

I am taking some extra jobs like market research and consulting which helps, but I feel like all my money gets eaten up sometimes. Plus with 2 kids and everything including bills and food just going up.

Im with you OP. I agree with others in terms of it takes a lot of discipline - for me it’s the unexpected curveballs that bring me back to square one.

@Dilemma999we’ve only just moved back into together after 3 years. When single I only got £194 in UC it’s not loads. I don’t know why MN assumes UC is loads of money, you don’t get your mortgage covered for example.

Yes, I have times when I have had no money. The worst was when the DWP stopped my employment support allowance without warning, swapped me to universal credit and I had to wait the five weeks before a payment. I was literally down to deciding between buying milk or buying bread, and I was too embarrassed to ask any family to help.

Even though it was a temporary situation for me I absolutely understand how you feel. It makes you feel isolated and sort of "on the fringes" of normal society. I still feel that way some of the time, as I'm like you, I can't afford to do anything that isn't basic living expenses without costing out if I can afford it. And don't mean things like a holiday, I mean REALLY basic, normal activities. A friend wants to meet up for coffee and cake and a natter. Can I afford the coffee & cake this week, because I also have xxx next week to think about? That type of thing.

One of my siblings is having a get together for their special birthday soon. They live 4 hours drive away and lots of friends and family are going and staying overnight in nearby hotels etc because it's a big birthday, we all live in different parts of the uk and we don't get the chance to be all together often. But not only can I not afford even a Travelodge, I have to think about the cost of the petrol. Can I even afford to buy more petrol this month to get there and back? That sort of thing. It becomes so mentally tiring having to cost out every single part of your life to the penny.

You have to weigh up. Are you going to need a Mortgage in six years time and are you gonna be able to pay that debt off in six years or would you be better off putting the money towards saving up a bigger deposit rather than paying off the credit card?
Everything reset after six years so you’re not going to be locked out of buying a house forever
But if you look at £20,000 worth of Debt after six years that’s nearly £30,000 in compounded interest
Would you not be better off having the 50 K in cash as a deposit? Specially given the hundred percent Mortgage you don’t exist so you’re gonna need another 50 K to put down as well.

You said before that you're "not together". So - you split up, he moved out but continued paying the mortgage. Now he's moved back in but without restarting your relationship. Is that right?

Just checked my accounts. Self employed and variable income. 13 pence 'spare' lol. Sums it up.

I have been in your position and it’s a lonely place particularly when you have children to support. I was too proud to ask for help and because I didn’t want to reveal
my level of debt when partner and I bought a house I didn’t go on the mortgage . I paid all the other bills . When we separated it came back to bite me as he argued the house was solely his . I can stop any sale but I suspect he will be there until he dies ! I managed to get the credit cards to freeze the interest so I could pay them off . My mum had never had much money so I was able to make meals from very little . I remember the relief of finding a local shop that sold individual toilet rolls when I couldn’t afford a packet . It’s the unexpected expenses that catch you out .I have a decent income now as I took a second job and I am very proud that I have almost paid everything off . Hang in there x

These are my outgoings. As you can see it’s the debt. Daughters school trip didn’t help but there’s always some unexpected expense such as car repairs, parking fine, new uniform, holiday clubs (that’s a big one for next month)

Me & my husband are like chalk and cheese with money
I grew up with hardly any. Was never given pocket money, bus fare or dinner money so I am used to not having anything. My mum was a single parent with 4 of us to raise and my dad left when I was 6 didn't see him again till I was 17.

He grew up in a two parent family who both worked & money was always available. He spends his wages like they're winnings. Doesn't know how to go without as he never had to. If he wants something he has to have it as he was an only child and got whatever he wanted. We pay 50/50 on all bills but once his money is gone, he knows not to come to me.
He will annoyingly sit there showing me trainers, gold chains etc hinting he wants them and I just tell him he should've saved up. He hates it. He has never grew out of the child that got whatever he asked for even well into to his 40s.

@Pandimoanymumyes that’s exactly it!! I don’t react to ‘we’re all meeting up!’ With ‘oh yay that will be so exciting’! I think oh how am I going to afford this?

Yes , I never have any money and am on a decent wage . But I also have a huge mortgage and 3 young adult children who still cost me a lot when they’re here for long holidays etc . 1 lives at home .
Food is the biggest expense but I just don’t know how to eat more cheaply . Don’t drink or smoke or go on holiday or go out much. . And like the poster upthread. -I’m constantly thinking I won’t go somewhere because of fuel . My daughter and I share an economic 10 year old car .
Where else do you cut back ?
So yes I empathise

@Augustus40sending good luck money spiders your way

Op move this thread to money board to cost of living they’re will be really good advice there and tips how to make money last

Yes. All my bills are paid and there’s food in the cupboards but I have 2.50 right now in the bank. And that’s left over from the fiver my DP sent me for pop yesterday. 🤣 I also owe a bit in debt. I just asked for a consolidation loan so we’ll see what happens.

I know its not much but ditch the oxfam and wildlife trust donations! You cant afford to be charitable right now.

As you say your problem is the debt payments. How much do you owe in debt total?

I agree with this. I'm not going to give you advice OP as you specifically say you don't want it. But you need to make changes if you want a more comfortable life. Keeping going as you are now might feel like the easy option but there's nothing easy about having no money.

I’d be cancelling the charity dd until I was out of debt , can start when on your feet again, I did notice you spent a lot on food shopping , try and go once a week instead of getting top up shops,
looks like a lot of your money is going there? Also instead of treating kids out for ice cream buy a tub of ice cream for a fraction of the price . These wee habits all add up . I used to be like you op but am now super frugal . I’m now a bank nurse due to my mental health and I have to watch the pennies as I’m on a zero hour contract

£22 to Oxfam and Wildlife Trust?

Aye that's the cause of all her hardship

@Thiscantgoonlikethis 35k a year the way we are now is not great tbh
is there no way you can look into moving jobs (same job different employer )?

It’s still worth going. They advise on more than benefits. They look at the whole picture. You don’t know what you don’t know. They do.