Does anyone ever have no money at all?

[Thiscantgoonlikethis]

I have a reasonable job (35K) , two children. I co-own a home and pay some of the expenses towards it (council tax, gas and electric, tv licence, virgin, food, insurance) and I run one cheap car. I drive 40 miles a day on my commute.
I owe quite a bit in debt, which accrued when I moved.
I often have no money at all. No money on credit cards to spend. But this month I am skint much earlier than usual.
I don’t want advise. I want solidarity. It feels so lonely. I’m not sure anyone I know lives like this. People are going to pub gardens or to the beach and I’m trying to find some change for a tube of tomato purée.
I’m terrible with money, that much is true. But when you are skint for years, it sort of changes your relationship with money. No one will lend to you so you end up with high interest CCs.
Please don’t tell me to get a better paid job, there isn’t one. I’ve tried. I’m qualified and in the NHS.

What awful advice . Do better .

Yes I hear you but I was thinking if just in the short term to change the mortgage over or see if it's possible to extend the term as far out as you can.
X

So you have well over 2k per month to live off plus child benefit after the mortgage is paid. You would likely also get some UC ? have you checked?

How much do you owe on these credit cards op? If they are minimum payments they are huge!

You need to consolidate your cc debt into one card. Look for an 18 month interest free balance transfer. You can pay less a month than you are currently doing and still make more of a dent in the debt. In 18 months time, rinse and repeat.

It's hard to feel solidarity with you when I've lived such a frugal life since I was in my early 20s. I didn't get the party, drinking, travelling to different countries youth experience than many people did because I was saving. Because of that, I'm now entitled to no Universal credit and zero housing schemes help because I've saved too much. I should have spent most of it. Then I'd be entitled to more government help. If you live in the South-East or London, or you're a single mum, then that will be expensive, but otherwise, I wonder where all your money is going.

What you need isn't solidarity. You need a kick up the bum.

Why are you terrible with money? Are you particularly impulsive? If not, there is no reason for you to be terrible with money. If you're smart enough to get a 40k job in the NHS, you are smart enough to manage your money.

I think the fact you're still donating to charities when you're in this situation indicates you either want to live in la-la-land, or you have serious issues with saying 'no'. You need to cancel any reoccurring donations immediately. All of your focus should be going on paying them back or getting debt advice, not spending over £400 on school trips!!

You also need to make friends with Excel or a similar program. There are free templates out there you can use where you put in your monthly salary, and then each time you enter spend it deducts it from that total, so the number you have left automatically gets smaller and smaller. No adding up or subtracting required from you. This is the time to show your children how to be financially sensible, otherwise they will grow up to have the same problems or they will pick up your worries about being in constant debt.

Also that is a huge council tax bill. Is there also council tax debt? That amount of council tax suggests a massive house which is inconsistent with your income. I’m Band D and less than £200/month.

I was often in that position and do sympathise with you.

I sincerely hope you find some way of managng until payday this month, Thiscan'tgoon. Is there a relative or someone who could bung you £100 short term?

All I can say is that things do improve with time. It's a shame that it all comes too late in many respects but, on the other hand, it's nice to have security when you are retired. That of course doesn't help you in the here and now.

Please let us know how you get on.

Sympathy OP. Also while 15 years ago or so, 35k was seen as a decent salary, it’s hard to live off that these days. And even when I was on 35k back in 2013 and didn’t have any kids, it really didn’t stretch far at all.

Op, you need to apply for an IVA. They are a life saver.

@BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslawi live in a big house in an expensive area.

Most IVA's fail, stepchange could help you set up a payment plan and get interest frozen.

@EarthSightI have to give to charity as its part of my faith.

Please, please look at the Rebel Finance School on Facebook. There’s an online course (free) and it’s helped many people consolidate debt and start saving. Really helps people change their life direction.

@Pickledonion1999no because I live with another adult so his wages are taken into account

Not any more but when my kids were young yes.

i used to be happy if I could afford a coffee at the end of the week.

You can take it or you can leave it but it’s worked for thousands of people over many many years
The Credit companies take advantage of people every now and then the people claw one back

School trip £400+??? Seriously?? I just said no to my daughters £22 school trip, I think you make poor choices.

Aah sorry I thought you said you weren't together, I must have missed that you still live together. I thought you meant he had moved out but was still paying the mortgage in liue of child maintenance.

@hellisemptyandallthedevilsarehereits a truly joyless world if someone working 44 hours and who has studied for four years post a levels and cant send her child on a school trip. My debt isn’t her fault.

What rubbish . And what about the thieving ? We all end up paying higher prices because of shoplifting and encouraging OP to become a criminal is plain silly .

@LBFseBromits ok, I’ll make it through I always do. Sold some stuff on marketplace

@hattie43 plus I’d lose my job!

Don’t be ridiculous. A school trip costing £425 is not essential. We’ve a much higher joint income than you but say no to our children going on many expensive trips or experiences. It doesn’t mean the world is joyless, it just means you and they need to know the value of money and choices. Money can only be used once- unless invested and then it compounds.

Or more sensibly, take the £20 or whatever she is sending to charity and put that directly into paying off debt more quickly.

Hi OP 👋 I'm the same, terrible with money. Work part time as a freelance editor, so it's actually less than minimum wage 😳 around £875 a month.

But the majority of my outgoings aren't household bills, as my DH covers these. We have 3 DC and I get child benefits for them but it still doesn't make my income more than £1k month. God knows how I might survive if it wasn't for the fact my parents top me up every now and then (yes, I know I'm incredibly fortunate). I just am terrible with money and budgeting, and never got used to living within my means even when I lived alone. I also have debt which I shouldn't have, and I only have myself to blame for the frivolous purchases on my credit card.

You're doing everything you can, I'm sure, especially as it will be harder as a single mum. As PPs say, make a list and budget, and cut back if you can.