AIBU to keep complaining about noisy neighbours using their garden constantly?

[Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday]

I live in what I used to find a peaceful and pleasant row of period terraces on one of the nicer streets in my area. Last year my neighbours moved as they needed more space for their kids and a new family moved in. They:

• Eat outside and play music every dinner time and most of the evening. Often all day on the weekend. It’s very beat heavy dance music.
• Leave their big bifolds open all the time and I can hear everything that’s said in their kitchen if my own kitchen window is open/im in the garden.
• Have big, loud parties ranging from a handful of people over to up to maybe 30 people regularly. Since start of June they’ve had people round and been loud into the evening every weekend except one.
• The parties go on to around midnight and often involves playing ball games etc in the garden, and lots of loud shrieking.
• Play football a lot in their garden and kick balls into ours. The kids come over and get it if we aren’t there to pass it back.
• Are outside and talk really loudly to eachother - probably to hear themselves over the crappy music.

The pluses are they are perfectly nice to speak to, their kids are polite and friendly.

I’ve asked them to turn the volume down three times. When they’ve had people over they’ve just ignored me, and said reasonably politely that it’s not late (this was around 8pm but the thumping music started at about 2pm on Saturday). They turned it down when I complained at 9am on a Sunday.

I feel really angry and helpless at the same time. I hate it. It’s making me so sad that they are ruining a place that I’ve loved living. We barely eat outside anymore and I think back to last summer and how lovely and peaceful our home and evenings were. My kids don’t like playing outside as much as it’s just so intrusive.

Right now they are out there with a bunch of friends being noisy, and I’m sat upstairs with the window closed and a fan on with my baby in a stuffy room to avoid the noise. I’m dreading the football tomorrow.

I’ve overhead them talking about getting a projector so they can watch the game in the garden.

My DH isn’t as bothered by it and hates confrontation so is playing it down. I’m honestly thinking about moving house, but we don’t have the money to really, and our house is so lovely except for this.

AIBU

• yes - they aren’t doing anything wrong enjoying their garden so you have to suck it up
• no - you should keep complaining and not feel intimidated.

Absolutely agree. It's a constant invasion of other people's head space. Once in a while.no problem. All the time...anti social behaviour.

And the fact that this morning the music woke OP up at 3.30am?

8pm isn’t late, but after 6 hours of thumping music when you have a baby (if it’s not a genuine one off) I’d be losing my mind!

Yep - And it isn't a one off

The garden noise and music starts in the day. Then extends until midnight.
She asked them to turn it down at 8pm. Which they refused to do. And carried on.
9am for loud music on a Sunday is way too early. 9am in the morning ?

They are inconsiderate, self centred twats. They won't change so don't bother saying anything else.

You'll need to move. You'll have to market the house in winter when theyre inside.

Meanwhile get a border of very thorny plants. Suggest pyracantha. At least no one will be climbing over.

Report to council. They are out of line. Keep notes and keep complaining.

@Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday Do they own their house or do they rent? If the latter complain to landlord after having spoken to them and nothing has changed. If they own you can plead with them and atleast that way they know that their enjoyment has a negative impact on you which should subdue the enjoyment somehow if they are normal.

Yeah you lost my at period terraces and nicer area.

My DH is not in the least bit confrontational or prone to bad temper. I know in this situation OP he would wait until the next really loud episode then bang loudly on the door & read the riot act. It certainly wouldn't involve a polite can you please turn the noise down especially as this would have been tried a few times already.

YANBU. This would drive me nuts too, OP.
What do your neighbours think? They must all be able to hear it too. Could you all get together to try to sort it en-masse? I’m not completely sure how, maybe a letter signed by all of you or something.

Really??? Why? Every city has nicer ans shittier streets, everybody know that.

Some people are quiet, some noisy, some incredibly noisy. What you have OP is incredibly noisy and don't give a shit. I think I would move because i wouldn't imagine their behaviour changing.

Poor you. I am seething on your behalf. That is absolutely disgraceful selfish behaviour. I just couldn't bear it. I think I'd move house if they couldn't be stopped.

You are entitled to quiet enjoyment of your home and they're affecting that so yes you hVe aright to complain but do it through environmental health. They'll advise what is acceptable and what isn't.

I honestly can't understand why noisy people but attached houses, mind you even detached gardens are attached....

Ring your council first thing on Monday morning.

Uncivilised creeps live amongst us and it's about time manners were put on them by society as a whole. This is where "be Kind" "No Judgement" has got us.

If they can't be trained to live amongst decent people then it is my fervent wish that, at some point in the future, encampments will be built for them in the middle of forests-a bit like the way outlaws used to live in the days of yore!

Arseholes.

I feel for you. We had this during Covid with neighbour teenage kids. Firstly it was party every Friday night music blasting until 3am. I could live with that the kids needed to let off steam. Then it was sat night as well then Sunday. You get the drift. Music every night all night. Mum and dad screaming at kids to shut up and the girl shrieking like she was being murdered constantly when she got drunk. I’m a really deep sleeper and it woke me constantly. It’s so draining and I complained so many times to their landlord and council as it became unbearable. Fortunately for us the parents decided to move and peace was restored. I hope it gets sorted for you

It’s time for that letter OP or for you and DH to have the conversation with them. I assume you are not alone and other neighbours are feeling the same? Have you spoken with them?

The permanent solution is to move. We moved to a hamlet a year ago with no direct neighbours after living in a new build estate with permanent noise,
I can tell you we have absolutely no regrets, it’s so peaceful.

There is a balance and a fine line in neighbourhoods, this family clearly cross it.

You can keep tackle this. You keep a log of their noise and behaviour. Dates, times etc.
You then report to the council.
Whilst there are rules about noise being allowed during certain hours and 'you can't do anything about it ', continuous noise disturbance that prevents you being able to use your house isn't allowed.
I believe there are also routes through magistrates you can explore in order to ensure they comply with more acceptable behaviour/noise levels.
It's also worth calling the police if there is excessive noise outside permitted hours, as they may pop out and speak to the house owners!

You've said they seem pleasant, so I'd go around when they are NOT playing music, and calmlly explain exactly how much it is affecting and upsetting you. Don't be afraid to cry sad tears as you do. Many, many people just do not think, but will consider others if the problem is brought to their attention.

It can also make a big difference if they turn the bass right down, because that's often more of a problem than the volume itself.

If that doesn't work - yeah, petty revenge. It doesn't solve the problem, but it might make you feel better.

But I'm really optimistic a serious chat will resolve things.

No advice I am afraid but I totally sympathise. We've lived here 25 years. Got new neighbours about two years ago, really nice people but absolutely clueless as to how they affect others. Balls being kicked against the fence over and over again, arguments between the 5 kids (ranging from small to adult), slamming doors and gates, dogs barking/howling all day etc. Yes, we have spoken to them and they are always very apologetic but it still doesn't change anything.
We accepted defeat and are moving.

Anyone telling you that you just don't like their lifestyle and how they aren't doing anything wrong by playing music at 8pm or 9am clearly hasn't had to live next door to someone who continuously plays loud music for hours at a time. Most of us would accept loud music being played at reasonable hours. It's when that extends to hours with every room in your house being filled with the base of your neighbours shite choice in music where it goes beyond tolerable, even at 7pm or whatever reasonable time it may be.

I feel for you OP.

People selfish enough to do this are not going o alter their habits.

I would move if I were you.

True. It’s interesting how when people do it back to them, they stop though. Almost as if they don’t like selfish fuckers either unless they’re the selfish fucker.

I know. It’s the selfishness that makes it worse.

So if someone had a party say every couple of months or a bbq that wouldn’t bother me. I’d think fair enough they’re allowed to enjoy their space. But if it’s all day and night every day then people who want a quieter atmosphere NEVER get their needs met. It’s just normal consideration!

I've done it twice. Someone played music at stupid o clock so I put indian drumming cd full pelt against the wall on repeat. I just wore earplugs. I checked after a while they stopped and didn't do it again.
Also lived next door to hideous neighbours. Her adult son would play banging music but mainly during the day. I put classical on full blast with speakers facing his bedroom. I knew which was his as could hear music and shouting coming from it. I went out for a couple of hours. I had to do it a few times but he did lower his eventually. There was no point asking him to turn his music down as he was so aggressive.
He was so thick I was surprised he even clicked this was why I played mine loud.