AIBU to keep complaining about noisy neighbours using their garden constantly?

[Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday]

I live in what I used to find a peaceful and pleasant row of period terraces on one of the nicer streets in my area. Last year my neighbours moved as they needed more space for their kids and a new family moved in. They:

• Eat outside and play music every dinner time and most of the evening. Often all day on the weekend. It’s very beat heavy dance music.
• Leave their big bifolds open all the time and I can hear everything that’s said in their kitchen if my own kitchen window is open/im in the garden.
• Have big, loud parties ranging from a handful of people over to up to maybe 30 people regularly. Since start of June they’ve had people round and been loud into the evening every weekend except one.
• The parties go on to around midnight and often involves playing ball games etc in the garden, and lots of loud shrieking.
• Play football a lot in their garden and kick balls into ours. The kids come over and get it if we aren’t there to pass it back.
• Are outside and talk really loudly to eachother - probably to hear themselves over the crappy music.

The pluses are they are perfectly nice to speak to, their kids are polite and friendly.

I’ve asked them to turn the volume down three times. When they’ve had people over they’ve just ignored me, and said reasonably politely that it’s not late (this was around 8pm but the thumping music started at about 2pm on Saturday). They turned it down when I complained at 9am on a Sunday.

I feel really angry and helpless at the same time. I hate it. It’s making me so sad that they are ruining a place that I’ve loved living. We barely eat outside anymore and I think back to last summer and how lovely and peaceful our home and evenings were. My kids don’t like playing outside as much as it’s just so intrusive.

Right now they are out there with a bunch of friends being noisy, and I’m sat upstairs with the window closed and a fan on with my baby in a stuffy room to avoid the noise. I’m dreading the football tomorrow.

I’ve overhead them talking about getting a projector so they can watch the game in the garden.

My DH isn’t as bothered by it and hates confrontation so is playing it down. I’m honestly thinking about moving house, but we don’t have the money to really, and our house is so lovely except for this.

AIBU

• yes - they aren’t doing anything wrong enjoying their garden so you have to suck it up
• no - you should keep complaining and not feel intimidated.

@Esmeraldathe3rd All that, is just a list of excuses for being an inconsiderate cunt with ZERO consideration for annyone around you. Zero manners, zero shame. Dragged up, in other words. Just appalling

I’ve literally just been woken up by their music

Honestly OP, I wouldn't. The council isn't going to listen to a complaint about people making noise while the English team is playing in the World Cup, in the middle of a heat wave.
Last week, I didn't need to watch the football. I lay in bed and listened to my neighbours scream "goal"

It will be over soon, and the weather will cool down a bit. Don't get into a dispute you will need to declare when you sell your house.

People are allowed to enjoy their gardens. Living outside is normal in summer, and a good thing, given that we spend half our year sheltering from the cold and rain. I get up early and enjoy peace in my garden at 6am while.my neighbours are still asleep.

YANBU

loud music is just antisocial. Especially with the bifold doors open. If you live in close proximity then there are basic rules to adhere to. These people are pricks.

it would bother some people more than others - it would drive my DH insane.

I would probably suck it up if it stopped by 2300..

I would phone the council for a chat. You can also call in antisocial behaviour anonymously I think so they don’t need to know it’s you?

I’d guess because it sounds like you feel your neighbours aren’t “our kind of people” and that they don’t deserve to live on “one of the nicer streets. That even though they stop the noise at a reasonable hour, how dare they
have a birthday party or enjoy having friends over. I suggest some noise canceling headphones or generous beakers of gin to help you endure,

Hand hold for having been through this. I think it largely depends where you live, every council has it's own rules. My neighbour was awful, I mean like awful.

I did get my LA involved as she is renting her property from the HA, and it went on and on for nrly 2 years, but eventually they took her to court to prosecute. It's not something I am proud of ever doing, but I literally tried everything In the book. I tried reasoning with her, I tried understanding, I tried texting her when it got too loud. In the end I just stopped, I stopped trying to see her as a person that could understand where I am coming from.

I know this feeling well, the feeling of tears, sadness, hating your house ( I used to throw up with anxiety).

I stayed at my house, I was not going to let someone else make me move just cos they couldn't understand loud music is unfair ( and this was all the time, morning, noon and night) but it wasn't easy to just keep going back and back to the council, but credit to them each time they came out, they witnessed the noise they told me what they were thinking.

There is no right or wrong answer either, you know your house, your neighbours and you just have to decide what to do and do it. It's never fair to be woken from loud disruptive neighbours, it's not fair for you or your children.

Your "I'm entitled to do whatever I want, whenever I want, fuck everybody else!" attitude is so sad.

Of course many of us could live like you suggest but it wouldn't be the Nirvana you imply.

In your version of life the inconsiderate, the rude, the unpleasant, the loud and the obnoxious would just ride roughshod over the less able, the disabled, the quiet, the shy, the ND. How would that benefit us as a people?

Reasonableness and consideration are the bedrock of a functioning civilised society. It's not weakness to consider others as well as yourself, it's basic decency and, ultimately, common sense.

I had this and I can honestly say it was one of the most stressful things ever. . I honestly don't know how people think it's ok to inflict the pounding beat of their crap music on others for hours at a time. I ended up wearing earplugs in my home. You won't be able to reason with them and may end up having to declare a dispute if you sell. If they own their house I would be tempted to sell up and move once the summer is over. If they rent I would complain to their landlord.

This is the time to stick your head over the fence and tell them to knock it off.

As for the England game, I think you just need to see that for what it is and maybe join them, the police really won't be wasting their time on noise complaints during the match.

Sorry OP but your neighbours sound like absolute cunts.

Don't know what to suggest, but I sure as heck couldn't be Zen like about it!!

My old neighbour was like this: loud speakerphone conversations, music blaring until 5-6am lots of nights etc. Moving was the best thing ever, now I can actually enjoy my garden in peace.

I despair of how selfish and entitled people have become these days. It seems to have become entirely acceptable to have loud calls on speaker phone and play music at a high volume without any consideration for the people around you. I miss the days when people used headphones.

Yanbu occasional parties/gatherings with music blasting is completely fine but when its every weekend its not. I have a neighbour who is 2 doors up who liked to play music for the whole street to hear pop music so I decided to put heavy beat dance music on one day louder then there's and I think it made them realise how annoying it is and they haven't done it since. It needs to be music you know they will hate they play dance music you play opera.

God forbid people use the garden for fun 😊

Nobody is saying they can't just be mindful of others.

Ever heard of the word "consideration"? Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Why should op "be annoying herself"? If she's like me, she won't have it in her to do this. I know I don't. I'm plagued by a noisy neighbour at the moment, to the extent we are now looking to move from an otherwise perfect house.

I hate this notion that you "should go and live in the middle of nowhere" just because you want people to behave with some consideration m

Oh OP I feel for you soo much. I cant stand people who play loud music.
Our new neighbours are loud people, as in, they talk loudly and are always in their garden, but, thank God, they don't disturb people with loud music.
However, we did have an issue with the people opposite us blasting out music from 2pm until midnight almost daily. I spoke to them to no avail and then also spoke to all the neighbours around and as we were all equally disturbed by it, we had a real (polite) go at them and told them they were ruining the community. They finally stopped. They still use their garden for BBQs but they've cut it out with the music.
You are definitely not unreasonable. Try speaking to other neighbours and talking to them together.

Start playing loud classical music in the garden. Or opera. If they complain say welcome to my world.
Find your inner strength again. They're disgusting ignorant people.
I like a party occasionally but I invite neighbours. Plus I wouldn't have music blaring in the garden. Only selfish bastards do that. All those sticking up for them probably do it too.

They’re not going to change. The sort of people who play music this loudly all day every day and especially at 3 am don’t give a shit.

you have two options. Complain to the council and keep logs for ages. Council will move slowly. Neighbours will be reluctant to comply. It might eventually stop the late night music but the all,day and evening music is likely to continue. Friends will still come round and they will still be loud. You will have to declare noise complaints if selling.

Or sell. Problem is that any viewers are likely to hear them for themselves.

Im sorry. I hate noise like this with a passion.

That’s what gets me as well, knowing I would never inflict that behaviour on others and the total lack of self awareness or consideration. Not good qualities to have in neighbours. There is no advice I can give you but I sympathise with your situation. Moving will be the only way to get away from their noise

How well do you know your other neighbours, OP?

Do you know if this situation is also bothering anyone else?

People on here are right that the council will probably not do anything.

What is often stronger in situations like this is the community spirit - your neighbourhood needs to take community ownership, set the rules and etiquette for living in your area, and people need to take on the responsibility for telling people what isn't OK.

That is scary as an individual but as a group of neighbours it will become easier. I would put money on it bothering at least one or two other people.

So my suggestion if you don't want to move would be getting to know your other neighbours, if you don't already, befriend them, and get to know whether this is also bothering them.

There is really strength in numbers with things like this.

Yes, this is what worked for us. Also, people dont like being disliked, so if they realize that everyone around them is starting to hate them, that will have an effect. I'm amazed at how many people think it's ok to be inconsiderate. I enjoy my life, I love parties and drink and friends, and music too to be honest, but not other people's crap music in resonating from their garden into my own living room. I play music with headphones in, or indoors at a normal volume, or go to a bar...

There is no solution. As ever increasingly in life; dickheads win.

OP had just posted she was woken at 3.30 am by them playing music. Thsts not having fun, that's being a cunt

this sounds so horrible especially with a young baby. The early days of parenthood make you feel extra vulnerable and sensitive
too.

I would try and speak to the mum in person and let her see how upset you are. Try and keep the conversation calm but I think it’s ok for them to see the impact

My NDNs also have young children but they have guests from 8pm until 2am usually.....very loud pub level talking and laughter. So every Sunday morning 6am sharp we get on a film (living room is now positioned against the party wall) and have the volume up so loud you can feel vibrations through the wall. We do it consistently after they have guests.

They have stopped having guests over night recently.

You have to play these people at their own game. It's the only language they know.