Page 2 | AIBU to keep complaining about noisy neighbours using their garden constantly?

Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday · 2026-07-10T19:54:59+00:00

I live in what I used to find a peaceful and pleasant row of period terraces on one of the nicer streets in my area. Last year my neighbours moved as they needed more space for their kids and a new family moved in. They: - Eat outside and play music every dinner time and most of the evening. Often all day on the weekend. It’s very beat heavy dance music. - Leave their big bifolds open all the time and I can hear everything that’s said in their kitchen if my own kitchen window is open/im in the garden. - Have big, loud parties ranging from a handful of people over to up to maybe 30 people regularly. Since start of June they’ve had people round and been loud into the evening every weekend except one. - The parties go on to around midnight and often involves playing ball games etc in the garden, and lots of loud shrieking. - Play football a lot in their garden and kick balls into ours. The kids come over and get it if we aren’t there to pass it back. - Are outside and talk really loudly to eachother - probably to hear themselves over the crappy music. The pluses are they are perfectly nice to speak to, their kids are polite and friendly. I’ve asked them to turn the volume down three times. When they’ve had people over they’ve just ignored me, and said reasonably politely that it’s not late (this was around 8pm but the thumping music started at about 2pm on Saturday). They turned it down when I complained at 9am on a Sunday. I feel really angry and helpless at the same time. I hate it. It’s making me so sad that they are ruining a place that I’ve loved living. We barely eat outside anymore and I think back to last summer and how lovely and peaceful our home and evenings were. My kids don’t like playing outside as much as it’s just so intrusive. Right now they are out there with a bunch of friends being noisy, and I’m sat upstairs with the window closed and a fan on with my baby in a stuffy room to avoid the noise. I’m dreading the football tomorrow. I’ve overhead them talking about getting a projector so they can watch the game in the garden. My DH isn’t as bothered by it and hates confrontation so is playing it down. I’m honestly thinking about moving house, but we don’t have the money to really, and our house is so lovely except for this. AIBU - yes - they aren’t doing anything wrong enjoying their garden so you have to suck it up - no - you should keep complaining and not feel intimidated.

Mycatmax · Yesterday 21:40

I don’t think there’s much you can do other than move.

Spidermandino · Yesterday 21:40

Play religious music really loud every morning

LuckyHazelFox · Yesterday 21:41

I feel for you. Relentless noise, especially in this heat, must be awful. There's no need for them to watch the football in the garden. Utterly selfish.

Original poster

Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday · Yesterday 21:42

Spidermandino · Yesterday 21:40

Play religious music really loud every morning

Thanks I enjoy this suggestion

Maybe I should join a choir and invite them to practice early doors at the weekend… outside obviously

I’ve stopped crying now

thank you for the kind comments and iM sorry to those who have had this or are currently experiencing it

OP posts:

Original poster

Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday · Yesterday 21:43

LuckyHazelFox · Yesterday 21:41

I feel for you. Relentless noise, especially in this heat, must be awful. There's no need for them to watch the football in the garden. Utterly selfish.

If they do this tomorrow I will complain to council as there’s no need for it and it’ll be really late - way past 11

OP posts:

alexdgr8 · Yesterday 21:49

That's a good idea.
Some Gregorian chant maybe.
Really loud. Really early.
On repeat.
Over. And over. Again.
Or what about some really authentic Irish shannos singing.
Sorry don't know the right spelling.
But once heard...it leaves an impression.
You could say you're studying different forms of early music.
Or something.
?can you get noise cancelling headphones for a baby....

TigerRag · Yesterday 21:49

Esmeraldathe3rd · Yesterday 21:29

I think stuff like this is like complaining about passengers on flights reclining their seat.

They are entitled to enjoy what they paid for. But for some reason we come to the conclusion that if everyone just enjoyed their life less, we'd all enjoy our life more. This fear of our happiness making other people miserable is just sad.

They had a birthday party, and you're complaining, it's a birthday party, people should be able to have birthday parties. People should be able to eat their dinner in their garden, they bloody paid for the space to use it. Music exists to be played, not through headphones, just played and enjoyed by people.

They're not doing anything wrong. They're just existing in the space they own. You are free to exist in the space that you own as you please. You love amongst other people. Alot of those people are annoying. That's ok. People are allowed to be annoying. If you don't like it you need to move to a rural place where you don't have close neighbours. But there's always going to be annoying people.

And you should be annoying too. You should hide yourself and be quiet so you don't impact anyone else. You are allowed to make noise, to be seen and heard, you are allowed to take space, to be slow at the checkout, to stand and look at a rail of clothes longer than average, to walk slow, to walk through doors, to cross the road, you don't need to sit quietly and neither do they.

The OP is also entitled to enjoy what they paid for?

Whilst I'm lucky that my neighbours don't have parties, I'm having a lot of issues with their noise - got one upstairs who does nothing about his dog running around on what sounds like wooden floors and next door who thinks it's ok to put his speakers next to my bedroom wall. Nothing like being woken up at 1am by someone blasting shitty music

MyGoldPlayer · Yesterday 21:49

It's so unfair. They're having by a grand old time, which is lovely for them but when their behaviour is actually impacting someone else's quality of life, it's dreadful that they don't seem to care. I think I would go around during the day and appeal to their better nature.
They can play music yes, but no one else wants to hear it. A one off or every now and then, no problem. But contact like you've been experiencing, so unfair. I wouldn't have thought this was ok as a teenager even.

Victorius19 · Yesterday 21:50

We've got noisy neighbours too OP. It's miserable. They've got young kids, leave the windows open when the toddler is screaming its lungs out at 2am, were out crashing round in the garden at 5am the other morning. I can't ever go to bed with the windows open. They have visitors all weekend that they entertain outside, and they light their wood pizza which blows all over my washing line. He's converted their garage into a boys room with snooker table and exercise equipment so is out there tonight with loud music going. Sigh. I don't necessarily think they're bad people, per se, I just think they're totally ignorant as to how much noise they make.

HosePipeNoMore · Yesterday 21:51

It’s bloody depressing that 45% think you are being unreasonable as that shows the scale of the selfishness seen in this country these days. Why do they feel entitled to inflict their noise on their neighbours so often?

Keroppi · Yesterday 21:52

Pull yourself together and be noisy back. Use your garden and play outside. Play your own music. What example are you setting to your kids by shrinking back and crying and not encouraging them to play outside?

There's going to be noisy dickheads or selfish families/people in every area of life. You either shrink away and make yourself small and an easier target to take advantage of or you just stubbornly co-exist and do the same thing back.

Stop letting the kids jump the fence to get their balls, tell them you'll chuck them back yourself whenever you have time. Don't rush to kick them back over and keep some back as missing - they will be more careful in the future once you inconvenience them.

Bunnyofhope · Yesterday 21:52

Esmeraldathe3rd · Yesterday 21:29

I think stuff like this is like complaining about passengers on flights reclining their seat.

They are entitled to enjoy what they paid for. But for some reason we come to the conclusion that if everyone just enjoyed their life less, we'd all enjoy our life more. This fear of our happiness making other people miserable is just sad.

They had a birthday party, and you're complaining, it's a birthday party, people should be able to have birthday parties. People should be able to eat their dinner in their garden, they bloody paid for the space to use it. Music exists to be played, not through headphones, just played and enjoyed by people.

They're not doing anything wrong. They're just existing in the space they own. You are free to exist in the space that you own as you please. You love amongst other people. Alot of those people are annoying. That's ok. People are allowed to be annoying. If you don't like it you need to move to a rural place where you don't have close neighbours. But there's always going to be annoying people.

And you should be annoying too. You should hide yourself and be quiet so you don't impact anyone else. You are allowed to make noise, to be seen and heard, you are allowed to take space, to be slow at the checkout, to stand and look at a rail of clothes longer than average, to walk slow, to walk through doors, to cross the road, you don't need to sit quietly and neither do they.

Yes they have paid for their garden. No they have not bought the OPs garden. So their music should not be heard in the OPs garden. They need to stick to their own space. If it was once a month the OP would likely overlook it like most us do, but daily?? Blow that for a game of soldiers.

Kizmet1 · Yesterday 21:54

I would hate them too. Our opposite neighbours had a huge speaker in their garden, blasting hip-hop for just 10.minutes during the last heatwave and I scaled the fence to complain. They were really good about it, but it put me so on edge realising that they're the sort of people who think that might be okay. It is absolutely not okay and I would never. My little girl is obsessed with K-Pop Demon Hunters, and if she wants to listen to it outside, she has to wear her headphones. If I want music when I'm gardening, I wear headphones. It just isn't fair to crank music up when your garden borders someone else's.

Could you go round and speak to them properly about it, @Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday ? Or if you wouldn't feel comfortable doing that, could you write them a letter and get a friend to sense check it for you to make sure it isn't too emotional. Use lots of "I" statements: I find the frequent music and noise really distressing because I am someone who appreciates peace and my home is my sanctuary.
Rather than: You and your awful music are inconsiderate and rude and you need to stop.

I don't know if they're the sort of people to reconsider their behaviour, but at least you will know you've tried.

Sending so much love and luck your way, OP. 🩷

Original poster

Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday · Yesterday 21:55

MyGoldPlayer · Yesterday 21:49

It's so unfair. They're having by a grand old time, which is lovely for them but when their behaviour is actually impacting someone else's quality of life, it's dreadful that they don't seem to care. I think I would go around during the day and appeal to their better nature.
They can play music yes, but no one else wants to hear it. A one off or every now and then, no problem. But contact like you've been experiencing, so unfair. I wouldn't have thought this was ok as a teenager even.

I need to do this, and just explain the impact they’re having on us. I know deep down it will make no difference but somehow the fact of letting them get away with it without being confronted with the impact they have is no OK with me.

But in practice I’m scared to do this.

OP posts:

Keroppi · Yesterday 21:55

BTW I know it's depressing I have had noisy neighbours who always argued and had a dog who they left outside almost all hours/weathers barking and barking and barking. I did end up fishwife shouting "shut the fuck up!!" A few times out the window. It works for a while.
Sometimes then they do revenge noise back but it is what it is. I'm sorry. Perhaps get a hot tub and you won't hear them over the bubbles and your own music and splashing

MotherofPufflings · Yesterday 21:55

Esmeraldathe3rd · Yesterday 21:29

I think stuff like this is like complaining about passengers on flights reclining their seat.

They are entitled to enjoy what they paid for. But for some reason we come to the conclusion that if everyone just enjoyed their life less, we'd all enjoy our life more. This fear of our happiness making other people miserable is just sad.

They had a birthday party, and you're complaining, it's a birthday party, people should be able to have birthday parties. People should be able to eat their dinner in their garden, they bloody paid for the space to use it. Music exists to be played, not through headphones, just played and enjoyed by people.

They're not doing anything wrong. They're just existing in the space they own. You are free to exist in the space that you own as you please. You love amongst other people. Alot of those people are annoying. That's ok. People are allowed to be annoying. If you don't like it you need to move to a rural place where you don't have close neighbours. But there's always going to be annoying people.

And you should be annoying too. You should hide yourself and be quiet so you don't impact anyone else. You are allowed to make noise, to be seen and heard, you are allowed to take space, to be slow at the checkout, to stand and look at a rail of clothes longer than average, to walk slow, to walk through doors, to cross the road, you don't need to sit quietly and neither do they.

So, to summarise: everyone should live their life with no regard for anyone else? And if that bothers you, then tough shit.

Have you ever heard the phrase "The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins"?

Thechaseison71 · Yesterday 21:56

Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday · Yesterday 21:13

That’s interesting

Why?

Show quote history

Because if sounds snobby and doesn't make the slightest bit of difference to what kind of neighbours you get

Diamond7272 · Yesterday 21:56

We had this problem with a flat I owned. The neighbours upstairs constantly banged, shouted, had loud music all night, smoked weed... All with children in their flat.

My partner and I took a 2 week hol to the canaries, but just as we left we attached a speaker to our ceiling just below their bedroom, on medium loud. Not enough to upset our other neighbours with the windows shut, but enough to pass through the floor upstairs, vibrate it at little... Then Britney spears hit me baby one more time on repeat. 2 weeks. Morning, noon and night.

It drove them mad. Utterly batshit. Came back to paper notes all over our front door. But, they never made a racket again.

If it wasn't Britney, we were considering German porn, or rather the sound effects, on repeat. Same tactics, speaker on ceiling... (easy, just use books on top of a wardrobe to secure it)...

The latter may well work for you... It'll drive them nuts and sex sounds are funny to begin with, then very awkward with guests round.... They will go indoors after a while...

Illegally18 · Yesterday 21:56

Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday · Yesterday 21:21

I think part of my anger comes from knowing that I would never do this myself and just feeling a bit incredulous… like how can they think it’s OK to just throw big parties and play music loudly all the time, and just not think of the impact on others?

I feel like I wouldn’t be able to do this - I wouldn’t be able to relax thinking I was upsetting others

Show quote history

It's obviously never happened to them!

HosePipeNoMore · Yesterday 21:57

Keroppi · Yesterday 21:52

Pull yourself together and be noisy back. Use your garden and play outside. Play your own music. What example are you setting to your kids by shrinking back and crying and not encouraging them to play outside?

There's going to be noisy dickheads or selfish families/people in every area of life. You either shrink away and make yourself small and an easier target to take advantage of or you just stubbornly co-exist and do the same thing back.

Stop letting the kids jump the fence to get their balls, tell them you'll chuck them back yourself whenever you have time. Don't rush to kick them back over and keep some back as missing - they will be more careful in the future once you inconvenience them.

Ridiculous suggestion. They will disturb all their neighbours, not just the noisy ones

Original poster

Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday · Yesterday 21:57

Kizmet1 · Yesterday 21:54

I would hate them too. Our opposite neighbours had a huge speaker in their garden, blasting hip-hop for just 10.minutes during the last heatwave and I scaled the fence to complain. They were really good about it, but it put me so on edge realising that they're the sort of people who think that might be okay. It is absolutely not okay and I would never. My little girl is obsessed with K-Pop Demon Hunters, and if she wants to listen to it outside, she has to wear her headphones. If I want music when I'm gardening, I wear headphones. It just isn't fair to crank music up when your garden borders someone else's.

Could you go round and speak to them properly about it, @Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday ? Or if you wouldn't feel comfortable doing that, could you write them a letter and get a friend to sense check it for you to make sure it isn't too emotional. Use lots of "I" statements: I find the frequent music and noise really distressing because I am someone who appreciates peace and my home is my sanctuary.
Rather than: You and your awful music are inconsiderate and rude and you need to stop.

I don't know if they're the sort of people to reconsider their behaviour, but at least you will know you've tried.

Sending so much love and luck your way, OP. 🩷

Thank you, yes I need to do this.

maybe writing is better. I’m worried I will cry if I try to talk to them because I’m so upset by it.

I am normally fairly assertive but somehow this is really touching a nerve - they’ve ruined my home.

OP posts:

Original poster

Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday · Yesterday 22:00

Diamond7272 · Yesterday 21:56

We had this problem with a flat I owned. The neighbours upstairs constantly banged, shouted, had loud music all night, smoked weed... All with children in their flat.

My partner and I took a 2 week hol to the canaries, but just as we left we attached a speaker to our ceiling just below their bedroom, on medium loud. Not enough to upset our other neighbours with the windows shut, but enough to pass through the floor upstairs, vibrate it at little... Then Britney spears hit me baby one more time on repeat. 2 weeks. Morning, noon and night.

It drove them mad. Utterly batshit. Came back to paper notes all over our front door. But, they never made a racket again.

If it wasn't Britney, we were considering German porn, or rather the sound effects, on repeat. Same tactics, speaker on ceiling... (easy, just use books on top of a wardrobe to secure it)...

The latter may well work for you... It'll drive them nuts and sex sounds are funny to begin with, then very awkward with guests round.... They will go indoors after a while...

Wow that is a very bold approach and I applaud you!

I absolutely could not do this though

OP posts:

millymollymoomoo · Yesterday 22:00

@Esmeraldathe3rd they are doing things wrong / they are completely inconsiderate of their neighbours and their selfishness to just do what the hell
tbey want should not trump ops right to peace! Sums up the entities incomsudtwirkd we now live in.

e terrine now has a it’s my garden I’ll do what I want . No be more bloody considerate

Original poster

Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday · Yesterday 22:01

Thechaseison71 · Yesterday 21:56

Because if sounds snobby and doesn't make the slightest bit of difference to what kind of neighbours you get

Show quote history

I acknowledged this and corrected myself upthread

it would be awful on any street, anywhere

OP posts:

Imisscoffee2021 · Yesterday 22:01

They're rude pricks.

ts fine to be in the garden alot, talking, laughing, living noises. But constant bass music is utterly horrendous to have to listen to, it honestly is so bad for people's mental health. I'd get the council round as they're stopping you quietly enjoy your own home, and they aren't nice people either if they say no. Why do they need crap bassy music while hosting anyway?