AIBU to keep complaining about noisy neighbours using their garden constantly?

[Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday]

I live in what I used to find a peaceful and pleasant row of period terraces on one of the nicer streets in my area. Last year my neighbours moved as they needed more space for their kids and a new family moved in. They:

• Eat outside and play music every dinner time and most of the evening. Often all day on the weekend. It’s very beat heavy dance music.
• Leave their big bifolds open all the time and I can hear everything that’s said in their kitchen if my own kitchen window is open/im in the garden.
• Have big, loud parties ranging from a handful of people over to up to maybe 30 people regularly. Since start of June they’ve had people round and been loud into the evening every weekend except one.
• The parties go on to around midnight and often involves playing ball games etc in the garden, and lots of loud shrieking.
• Play football a lot in their garden and kick balls into ours. The kids come over and get it if we aren’t there to pass it back.
• Are outside and talk really loudly to eachother - probably to hear themselves over the crappy music.

The pluses are they are perfectly nice to speak to, their kids are polite and friendly.

I’ve asked them to turn the volume down three times. When they’ve had people over they’ve just ignored me, and said reasonably politely that it’s not late (this was around 8pm but the thumping music started at about 2pm on Saturday). They turned it down when I complained at 9am on a Sunday.

I feel really angry and helpless at the same time. I hate it. It’s making me so sad that they are ruining a place that I’ve loved living. We barely eat outside anymore and I think back to last summer and how lovely and peaceful our home and evenings were. My kids don’t like playing outside as much as it’s just so intrusive.

Right now they are out there with a bunch of friends being noisy, and I’m sat upstairs with the window closed and a fan on with my baby in a stuffy room to avoid the noise. I’m dreading the football tomorrow.

I’ve overhead them talking about getting a projector so they can watch the game in the garden.

My DH isn’t as bothered by it and hates confrontation so is playing it down. I’m honestly thinking about moving house, but we don’t have the money to really, and our house is so lovely except for this.

AIBU

• yes - they aren’t doing anything wrong enjoying their garden so you have to suck it up
• no - you should keep complaining and not feel intimidated.

Now that’s a low bar

I hate noise too OP and this would drive me mad. I am already thinking about moving house because I've got screamy kids at the back and barky dogs to the side. But it's nothing compared with what you are putting up with.

I just can't see why having fun has to be so noisy.

Looking forward to all the noise tonight, too (football). Might have to wear earplugs.

Getting an army of kids to play their recorders outside their house at 6am might do the trick?

It really is. Thumping music shouldn't be on loud enough for neighbours to hear at any time. Wear headphones!

I feel like we’ve been over this.

People are so weird. You are allowed to have a high expectation of an area based on niceness. It’s a pretty human reaction.
The OP is just setting the scene for gods sake!

Shouldn’t have mentioned it! It has nothing to do with the problem really. Those implying I’ve got an issue with them “lowering the tone” as if I’m some kind of snob for wanting some weekends at home without parties are missing the mark.

Not that it makes any difference whatsoever but these are perfectly ordinary people with what most would consider ‘respectable’ jobs, and as I said, they’re nice enough to speak to and their kids are polite. They aren’t lowering any tone. They are just very sociable, very noisy and not remotely considerate of the people around them. For these reasons I don’t like them and wish they didn’t live next to me.

She does, doesn' t she!

Our old neighbours were similar. Lovely to speak to but first sign of sun and the bbq and smoker came out...and then the music would be played loud from the kitchen so they could hear at top of the garden. So loud. They also spoke loudly.
Almost didnt realise how noisy til we moved and now never hear new neighbours!

I feel your pain. Being woken up at 3.30 am by their music is antisocial and unacceptable. And anyone who puts a telly outside, unless they are in the middle of nowhere, is a grade A wanker

Yup 😂

This is why I like living in Germany, the rules are really clear:

• no noise after 10pm until 6am, you can call the police if neighbours are making too much noise. Includes parties, drilling, music. So people will happily start banging at 6.30 😂
• some states even have a quiet period during lunchtime, I think it's 1-3pm.
• kids can make whatever noise they want outside these times, you can't make a noise complaint about kids.

Some would consider it rigid but it works well, you're not relying on people being considerate or everyone having a different idea of what "late" is.

Oh, that's the best idea yet, love it 😂
Send parents to collect balls, they'll soon get fed up.
Genius

She clearly lives in a crappy street! 😆

It's so selfish of people to act like this, no consideration of others. We all like to enjoy our gardens and it's totally unfair when a neighbour consistently makes this amount of noise. They just don't care. Councils are usually pretty good at responding. They don't give a damn what you think of them or they wouldn't act like this so don't be concerned for reporting and keep a diary. Xx

You have my upmost sympathy. I honestly think people who are noisy, live like this day to day so have no concept of how their noise affects others.

We had this exact same scenario as you describe. Karaoke, parties until the small hours every week, breakfast outside at 6am with loud yapping, talking on mobile phones where you could hear the conversation word for word , balls banged against the fence with force.

Then across from us were loud South Africans with late teens who would stay out until 4/5am when taxis would roll up and out they’d get roaring drunk, screaming and shouting (bedrooms were to the front), slamming doors.

It was a new build estate and I honestly felt I was in a noise sandwich.

Awful. I’m too considerate of other people I think as I just couldn’t make noise like that.

We moved as I couldn’t stand it anymore.

Thanks. It is a good idea actually.

Bummer they didn’t ask your ladyships permission. But seriously as long as they are keeping to the local councils noise levels there’s really nothing you can do. Maybe develop a taste for Opera & play a good Soprano loudly. Develop a taste for Punk & go full Klaus Nomi?

Have you tried active noise cancelling headphones? The better solution would be to blare your music over the top of theirs…

If you speak to the council they have to act as its anti social behaviour, tell them exactly how its affecting you and you have a baby etc. We had this when a large family of Roma moved a few doors down, they were constantly out in the street drinking all day they had large numbers of people sat on chairs and my front wall. We asked them to move a few times but in the end myself and I found out later lots of my neighbours kept complaining to the council. It took 6 months and they were evicted as they rented, be prepared for a bit of attitude from one or two at the council I was told I should move! Been here 40 years and shouldn't have to so, stand your ground I know its difficult with homeowners but the council still have to act, you don't have to give your name either if you don't want to, you have as much right to enjoy life as they do, they are selfish fuckers. I know how upsetting it is honestly.

The majority of people on this thread agree with me, so I’m not sure why you’ve bothered with the “your ladyship” dig… but fine, sure, we are all really stuck up for thinking we should sometimes have a weekend off from other people’s intrusive and unavoidable noise. How entitled we all are.

I would absolutely love this

You are definitely a nightmare neighbour
I'm currently sat listening to at least 3 of the houses at the back of my garden having a party on the street (my garden backs onto the street)
Children shouting a bit in excitement whilst playing I can deal with
Chatting even though it's loud as there seems to be loads of them out I can deal with
Grown men reving car engines, playing banging music, shouting and singing, reving around on a quad bike I can not deal with.
I cannot understand how people can be so selfish

Yes, people who choose to live close to neighbours who are not exceeding any noise limits are entitled to be precious snobs.

Needless to say they’ve been out there with the bbq going and a load of friends round for several hours already. We went to the park with a picnic for dinner to get away. There also seem to be what sounds like many children shrieking in the room next to me as I try to get my smallest to sleep under a fan, as I can’t open the window thanks to crazy noise levels and meaty smoke….

I’m sure we’d all live in large detached homes if we could. Even if everyone had the cash there wouldn’t be enough of them. People in high density housing have to find a way to live well together. You seem to think the inconsiderate people just deserve to live as they please regardless of impact on others.