AIBU to keep complaining about noisy neighbours using their garden constantly?

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I live in what I used to find a peaceful and pleasant row of period terraces on one of the nicer streets in my area. Last year my neighbours moved as they needed more space for their kids and a new family moved in. They:

• Eat outside and play music every dinner time and most of the evening. Often all day on the weekend. It’s very beat heavy dance music.
• Leave their big bifolds open all the time and I can hear everything that’s said in their kitchen if my own kitchen window is open/im in the garden.
• Have big, loud parties ranging from a handful of people over to up to maybe 30 people regularly. Since start of June they’ve had people round and been loud into the evening every weekend except one.
• The parties go on to around midnight and often involves playing ball games etc in the garden, and lots of loud shrieking.
• Play football a lot in their garden and kick balls into ours. The kids come over and get it if we aren’t there to pass it back.
• Are outside and talk really loudly to eachother - probably to hear themselves over the crappy music.

The pluses are they are perfectly nice to speak to, their kids are polite and friendly.

I’ve asked them to turn the volume down three times. When they’ve had people over they’ve just ignored me, and said reasonably politely that it’s not late (this was around 8pm but the thumping music started at about 2pm on Saturday). They turned it down when I complained at 9am on a Sunday.

I feel really angry and helpless at the same time. I hate it. It’s making me so sad that they are ruining a place that I’ve loved living. We barely eat outside anymore and I think back to last summer and how lovely and peaceful our home and evenings were. My kids don’t like playing outside as much as it’s just so intrusive.

Right now they are out there with a bunch of friends being noisy, and I’m sat upstairs with the window closed and a fan on with my baby in a stuffy room to avoid the noise. I’m dreading the football tomorrow.

I’ve overhead them talking about getting a projector so they can watch the game in the garden.

My DH isn’t as bothered by it and hates confrontation so is playing it down. I’m honestly thinking about moving house, but we don’t have the money to really, and our house is so lovely except for this.

AIBU

• yes - they aren’t doing anything wrong enjoying their garden so you have to suck it up
• no - you should keep complaining and not feel intimidated.

This sounds awful. YANBU at all. I’d ask the neighbours to come round to your garden one eve when they have music on and people round, so they can hear what they sound like. If they have any decency at all, they will STFU.

These people don't give a toss how you feel. They are selfish. If they cared they wouldn't do it to begin with!

So sorry - YANBU
Sadly I think you’ll have to move if it’s upsetting you so much.
They will not understand your upset, they are just different to you and won’t change because it’s their normal.
Of course wherever you move to you could still have noisy neighbours.

What do your other neighbours say about the noise? You could collectively complain to the noisy ones face to face

If they are regularly breaching your local councils noise ordinance (usually between 11pm and 7am) then you should complain to the council. You need evidence so keep a diary of all instances where you feel they are being unreasonable, loud etc. However, be prepared to be fobbed off. New neighbours moved next door to my parents and they were awful. Like you, out in the garden at all hours, being loud, no matter the time of year. Their house is attached to my parents and they were always fighting - screaming, slamming doors, banging. Different cars pulling up throughout the day. Smelling weed all the time. My mum confronted them so many times, she told them she had reported them to the council. I called the police on them, as have other neighbours. They are not perfect now but they are a LOT better but do you know what made them stop? Someone else complained about them as the council wrote to them - she came banging on my parents door screaming at my mum blaming her. Mum told her it wasn't her and she'd tell her (as she has in the past). She was absolutely horrible so I went round and said I would absolutely batter her if she carried on with the anti social behaviour or if she dared look at my parents in the wrong way. Now she couldn't be any nicer to them. She ignores me but I'm not bothered.

They sound selfish op to be making so much noise in a terraced home. I would not keep complaining. They are not going to change what they are doing or they would have listened the first time. I think I would look at moving. You enjoyed your home before they lived there and now that has changed.

Could you ask them to turn the bass down and agree some time limits?
I know it sounds really frustrating and I get why you don’t like it but it is their space.

I would speak to an env health officer at your local council for advice. There are some things they can do without making it formal and so affecting any future house sale. There’s quite a high bar for any formal action such as injunctions etc anyway but sometimes a chat or an letter from the council might make them consider the impact they are having on others. They’ll ask you to note the dates, duration and impact of the noise to determine if it is a nuisance.

I do sympathise. My twat of a neighbour has wired in outdoor speakers and plays music in his garden all the time. Absolutely selfish behaviour it drives me mad.

This was my life until recently , thankfully the neighbours moved away and it’s bliss - I think they must have moved in next to you !
Have the bought the house or are they renting ? We complained to the landlord/ letting agent - it seemed to do the trick .

I would sell the house... What they are doing is not illegal and no police or council will do anything. Nobody will help you. Living next to quiet neighbours is a matter of luck. I completely understand how you feel, I would hate it and not feel good at my own home anymore.

The only thing that ever worked for us in this situation was playing loud music back. Speaker moved as near as possible to their side. I wonder if it was because they didn’t realise how loud they were being or just didn’t want us to keep doing it. Oddly playing your own music drowns out anything else and is less annoying.

In a similar situation we moved.

Some people are so selfish and entitled. I’m quite noise sensitive and this would upset me a lot, I would have to move.

The constant music would piss me off and i agree is really selfish and inconsiderate.

It just seems an ever increasing problem these days that there are a lot of people out there who have no consideration for others.
They only think about themselves.

I remember being a kid and being told not to play football on a Sunday afternoon in the garden as it might disturb someone. Now that seems extreme but the point was to be considerate about people wanting to relax on a Sunday before the week started again. My dad would never cut the lawn on a Sunday for the same reason.

These days there’s alot of people who think they can do whatever they like and never think of others.
They are in turn bringing up their kids to not be considerate towards others.

It’s not just being loud neighbours, these will probably be the same people who talk/use their phones in the cinema, park across 2 bays, let their kids scream and run about in restaurants, leave rubbish at the park/beach. I could go on.

I really feel for you. It's incredibly antisocial to have parties and blast music so often that the neighbours can't enjoy their homes peacefully.

I have a house converted into two flats next to me which is rented out, so I sometimes get neighbours like this, but thankfully they don't tend to stay too long.

It would drive me nuts but unless the noise is above a certain level and it’s after 7am and finishes by 11pm there is little you can do sadly.
It is worth getting sound measuring equipment so you can see what it’s registering, above a certain level and you can complain to the council because it can damage your hearing/health over a certain level regardless of times.
This is what the council would advise, we’ve been through it but we were accused of being noisy neighbours because of our children.
Little noise comes from our house 7.30pm-6.30am and the everyone is out of the house 8.30-3.30 during the week but our neighbour wanted to lie in until 9am and our terraced house meant that my children were waking him up, not by screaming or anything but just moving around, chatting, closing doors/cupboards and getting ready for school or sport at the weekends.
We both own otherwise he would have really hounded a housing officer, as it was the noise department from the council came out and heard both sides of the story and offered him noise equipment to see what he was registering on his side, he declined to have it installed…..
We don’t speak now at all, which is relief as it’s stopped him charging around and pounding on my door weekly!

YANBU op. I’ll never understand why people think this kind of behaviour is acceptable. A once in a while party, maybe. A constant barrage of noise and music. No. If you want to listen to music it’s done in such a way that your neighbours don’t have to hear it. Earphones or play it inside your house.

Sympathies op. I live in a block of 4 flats and we all have our own gardens portioned up out the back. I'm a 'sit outside and listen to the birds' type of person but all the others are 'blast music while getting drunk and the kids scream in the paddling pool' types 😫 They all know each other so walk into each other's gardens. Sometimes even cut through mine to get there!

I guess neither type of person is wrong, but them enjoying their garden means I can't enjoy mine. Me sitting quietly outside with a book doesn't affect anybody so it does feel very unfair.

They will justify it all to themselves as they are only having fun. And enjoying themselves.
Balls coming over I would make the adults come round to collect. Make it as awkward for them as it is for you.
And I would find that behaviour back is sometimes only how some people will begin to grasp that what they are doing is really bad. The extent of it, the consistency of it.
I would wear headphones in the garden if possible. Although with baby in sight.

Well that’s way past 11pm! The poster saying you’re complaining about a birthday party doesn’t seem to have read that you have had this every weekend but one in months. It really gets you down. Did anyone call the police last night? I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Well, they are probably nightmare neighbours themselves and they know it.

I'm so sorry OP. I hate noise too..I really feel for you. Maybe you should move because it's not going to stop. I think there ahould be much stricter laws about this sort of thing because it amounts to a kind of mental torture.

No, people are not ‘allowed’ to be knowingly annoying. It is a thing called being inconsiderate. And shows a lack of manners.
People are allowed to enjoy their garden. Yes. But not in a fashion that negatively impacts others. Playing loud music so often is not nice.
And no people do not need to move away so others can be inconsiderate. The inconsiderate and rude people need to learn some manners.

We all have to rub along in society. Being so selfish as to justify behaviour and think I can do it because I paid for the space and can make as much noise as I want is just anti social . The person who wants to make the noise needs to go live someone very rural with no neighbours for miles.

If you cannot afford a massive house where you are able to have a party in the garden without offending others then you don’t do such parties.
Once in a while people won’t mind. Daily screeching and loud music into the night is a bit sad to be honest.

I’ve asked them to turn the volume down three times. When they’ve had people over they’ve just ignored me, and said reasonably politely that it’s not late (this was around 8pm but the thumping music started at about 2pm on Saturday). They turned it down when I complained at 9am on a Sunday.

YABU

8pm is not late, and 9am is not early.

You just don't approve of their lifestyle and think they're lowering the tone. They may well be, but they're not exactly arguing in the street, throwing things, attacking people physically, or shooting up in sight of your children.