AIBU to keep complaining about noisy neighbours using their garden constantly?

[Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday]

I live in what I used to find a peaceful and pleasant row of period terraces on one of the nicer streets in my area. Last year my neighbours moved as they needed more space for their kids and a new family moved in. They:

• Eat outside and play music every dinner time and most of the evening. Often all day on the weekend. It’s very beat heavy dance music.
• Leave their big bifolds open all the time and I can hear everything that’s said in their kitchen if my own kitchen window is open/im in the garden.
• Have big, loud parties ranging from a handful of people over to up to maybe 30 people regularly. Since start of June they’ve had people round and been loud into the evening every weekend except one.
• The parties go on to around midnight and often involves playing ball games etc in the garden, and lots of loud shrieking.
• Play football a lot in their garden and kick balls into ours. The kids come over and get it if we aren’t there to pass it back.
• Are outside and talk really loudly to eachother - probably to hear themselves over the crappy music.

The pluses are they are perfectly nice to speak to, their kids are polite and friendly.

I’ve asked them to turn the volume down three times. When they’ve had people over they’ve just ignored me, and said reasonably politely that it’s not late (this was around 8pm but the thumping music started at about 2pm on Saturday). They turned it down when I complained at 9am on a Sunday.

I feel really angry and helpless at the same time. I hate it. It’s making me so sad that they are ruining a place that I’ve loved living. We barely eat outside anymore and I think back to last summer and how lovely and peaceful our home and evenings were. My kids don’t like playing outside as much as it’s just so intrusive.

Right now they are out there with a bunch of friends being noisy, and I’m sat upstairs with the window closed and a fan on with my baby in a stuffy room to avoid the noise. I’m dreading the football tomorrow.

I’ve overhead them talking about getting a projector so they can watch the game in the garden.

My DH isn’t as bothered by it and hates confrontation so is playing it down. I’m honestly thinking about moving house, but we don’t have the money to really, and our house is so lovely except for this.

AIBU

• yes - they aren’t doing anything wrong enjoying their garden so you have to suck it up
• no - you should keep complaining and not feel intimidated.

No, I think they are not being inconsiderate. I think OP is being entitled.

Sounds very Hyacinth Bouquet !

And I think you are being a knob!

Yanbu. My neighbours are annoying in that they have gatherings regularly and use their garden room to host, doors open, music on, chatting, cheering whilst playing games etc and nearly every day we have the drone of sports commentary coming from the radio. Plus a noisey dog. I put up with it because it’s life. However, I used to be really hot on telling my kids to keep it down when they were getting too loud in the garden, I just don’t bother anymore. I don’t particularly keep my voice down either. Works both ways.

I’m sure my neighbours would agree with you

The majority of people on here do not

Totally agree, god forbid folk are enjoying the good weather in their own gardens.

I'd suggest canvassing the opinions of other neighbours. Then if multiple neighbours are unhappy, find a way to set this out calmly to them. Avoid council complaints as these have to be reported if you try to sell.

Oh OP I feel your pain, screaming shouting, crying, shouting, swearing, fighting, loud music, revving bikes! we get it all.. Our (and hopefully yours) only saviour is the Autumn when the darker nights draw in, to be honest I would imagine it's an issue that's happening and down the country especially during the summer months! We now just grit our teeth and bear it, trying to remember that it's only for 12 weeks or so and then they will all go back into their caves...

P. S we've just bought a air conditioning unit and when it's hot and on, it drowns out all of the noise! Bliss.. 😍

OP your post could have been written by me, word for word. We have exactly the same issues with our next door neighbours. I can't believe how inconsiderate they are and it affects me every single day, particularly in the Summer. It makes me utterly miserable in my own home. I used to love sitting in the garden enjoying a good book and a drink but since they have moved in I have to stay indoors with the door shut and noise cancelling earphones in my ears. It's horrendous. We can't afford to move somewhere more secluded so we are just stuck with it.

Oh OP I do sympathise. There’s been a few of these threads recently and yours sounds pretty horrific. We had to move from our last house due to the constant noise from a variety of neighbours. It wasn’t one in particular so was hard to complain but it was like they’d take turns!!!

we were surrounded by people who are just noisy. Late as well. Loud voices, music, dogs barking. Just endless. I used to cry too OP and you do become sensitive to it. It’s the anger too of their selfishness sometimes. Yours sounds worse than we had but a lot of the time I constantly wondered whether they even thought of us. I guess not.

I know everyone has the right to do things in their own home and garden (as long as it’s legal!) but we also live in communities and I think people should be respectful.

but we are not noisy people and really need some quiet and peace. It’s just how we are. Of course we make some normal noise but only in short bursts. Not endless loud booming music late into the night.

i’m sorry OP. It sounds like they just don’t think of others and even if you talk to them I think this is their lifestyle.

I feel for you OP , it's unlikely the council will do anything , I would avoid reporting it as you have to declare this upon selling. I think it may calm down somewhat when the weather goes shit again and at that point you and your partner need to think if you can put up with another summer(s) like that or if you take the chance to move and hope you have better neighbours ( no guarantee!) unless you're in the middle of nowhere.
we have noisy neighbours but they are not on this scale by any means and mine drive me mad! I don't think I could cope with what you are having to put up with

Yes, the lovely 3.30am sunshine

Please before you do anything extreme like moving, try and annoy them back, be petty!
make noise!
bing theme tune on a speaker right against there fence when there trying to host or enjoy there space, plenty of singing nursery rhymes in your worst tone!
be inconsiderate too, your allowed!

What do the other neighbours around you think?

I disagree entirely with this. Playing loud music constantly at a level which annoys your neighbours is anti-social and inconsiderate. It impacts their neighbours’ ability to enjoy their space and they are aware of that, yet continue to do it. It’s incredibly selfish. It is not okay to do what you like and to hell with everyone else. When did people start thinking like this?
A party on occasion and social gatherings are fine, as is the children playing in the garden. The constant loud music and continuing it as late as they do is just not on, especially when their neighbour has a baby.
We live in a terraced house. If we play our radio while we’re in the garden, we do it at a level which only we can hear. If we have people in the garden, we take it indoors at a certain point. We don’t even hoover after 9pm because it can be heard in both our neighbour’s houses! It doesn’t stop us enjoying our house and garden. It just stops us adversely impacting and disrespecting our neighbours’ ability to enjoy their houses and gardens.

Then you have to move to house with no neighbours!

I get the loud music being annoying if it is frequent. But having guests over and leaving their back doors open I really don’t see an issue Mums netters absolutely hate neighbours its bonkers the amount of threads I see on neighbours.

Suit yourself.

I think your new neighbours are my brothers lot!
I would hate this too, I don't want to hear your constant noise, id probably have to move if it was like this long term

Do people abide by this and is it enforced by the police? The problem is in this country is nobody takes any notice of the 11pm - 7am noise act, because everyone knows that getting the police or local authority to actually act on it is hopeless.

Yeah unless it’s antisocial behaviour then I agree - it seems like especially for gardens the expectation is almost that our NDN doesn’t use theirs at all so we can enjoy ours. I agree with OP that I’d find it all annoying as I struggle with noise, but ultimately I’d have a word with myself and realise they’re not doing anything wrong.

My own NDN told me the other day, face like a slapped arse and while scoffing and rolling their eyes, “ugh you’re in the garden ALL THE TIME”. I was genuinely bemused. I am in the garden watering, planting, sitting down having coffee, like completely quiet activities. Of course when you’re dragging a hose around it’s not dead silent, but I don’t understand what exactly their problem was. I don’t have parties, I don’t have friends over, I don’t have children, I don’t play music outside, I don’t use power tools. So it was literally me existing in my garden that made my NDN go “ugh”. Some people are just fucking weird and entitled.

In my experience people really do stick to it because they know their neighbours won't hesitate to call the police. The police usually give a warning first time and if they have to come again, you will get fine. People hand out flyers or put up posters if they're having a birthday party to give neighbours notice and ask them to excuse the noise if it goes beyond 10pm. It's not uncommon to find passive aggressive notes in hallways telling people to have s*x more quietly or shut their windows (I'm not kidding).

I've lived in 7 places over 20 years and most people have stuck to the rules. You also can't use garden equipment on Sundays, where the whole day is a sacred "quiet time".

I agree. It does have an impact by playing loud music back or loud TV. Our NDN started dumping glass bottles into their recycling box from their drinking session loudly out of annoyance after us watching TV from 6am at full volume Sunday mornings. It really pissed him off that his sleep was trashed 😁

Come on OP, it's Sunday morning and your kids want to be out playing (screeching!) In the paddling pool whilst you enjoy breakfast against a backdrop of vivaldi etc at full volume!!!
Get a bit of fire in your belly!
If you have the pleasure of the knob heads next door popping their heads out to ask wtf is going on you can explain why you thought this was how things are now...we all just enjoy our gardens at full volume at any time that suits us 🤷‍♀️
We have very noisy, scrote teenagers down the road from us that enjoy (smoke weed) their garden until 3am regularly. I am currently working on my revenge and so far it involves a hose pipe.....

If they are quite loud and outgoing people they probably don’t realise how loud they actually are and so playing some of your own music is honestly not a bad idea and will drown out theirs! Think of it as educating them. Try to remember that they aren’t doing any of this to annoy or hurt you. They probably genuinely think it’s strange and mean of you to complain. If you start from that point of understanding I think it will help you figure this out.

Also remember that people naturally go through phases. We went through a phase of having lots of quite noisy barbecues (although we are on a biggish more rural property) but have gone through phases of being away most of the weekend too.