AIBU to keep complaining about noisy neighbours using their garden constantly?

[Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday]

I live in what I used to find a peaceful and pleasant row of period terraces on one of the nicer streets in my area. Last year my neighbours moved as they needed more space for their kids and a new family moved in. They:

• Eat outside and play music every dinner time and most of the evening. Often all day on the weekend. It’s very beat heavy dance music.
• Leave their big bifolds open all the time and I can hear everything that’s said in their kitchen if my own kitchen window is open/im in the garden.
• Have big, loud parties ranging from a handful of people over to up to maybe 30 people regularly. Since start of June they’ve had people round and been loud into the evening every weekend except one.
• The parties go on to around midnight and often involves playing ball games etc in the garden, and lots of loud shrieking.
• Play football a lot in their garden and kick balls into ours. The kids come over and get it if we aren’t there to pass it back.
• Are outside and talk really loudly to eachother - probably to hear themselves over the crappy music.

The pluses are they are perfectly nice to speak to, their kids are polite and friendly.

I’ve asked them to turn the volume down three times. When they’ve had people over they’ve just ignored me, and said reasonably politely that it’s not late (this was around 8pm but the thumping music started at about 2pm on Saturday). They turned it down when I complained at 9am on a Sunday.

I feel really angry and helpless at the same time. I hate it. It’s making me so sad that they are ruining a place that I’ve loved living. We barely eat outside anymore and I think back to last summer and how lovely and peaceful our home and evenings were. My kids don’t like playing outside as much as it’s just so intrusive.

Right now they are out there with a bunch of friends being noisy, and I’m sat upstairs with the window closed and a fan on with my baby in a stuffy room to avoid the noise. I’m dreading the football tomorrow.

I’ve overhead them talking about getting a projector so they can watch the game in the garden.

My DH isn’t as bothered by it and hates confrontation so is playing it down. I’m honestly thinking about moving house, but we don’t have the money to really, and our house is so lovely except for this.

AIBU

• yes - they aren’t doing anything wrong enjoying their garden so you have to suck it up
• no - you should keep complaining and not feel intimidated.

You are right about the acceptance and not wasting emotional energy on this

Hard to do though!

A really evil thing is hang some wind chimes outside their bedroom window. Even dicks need to sleep. And security lights, halogen ones, activated by foxes, pointing straight at their windows.

Well I am at least grateful I don’t live next to your friend

I just do not understand this way of thinking at all. It does seem to divide people, judging by my poll.

Oh and another neighbour I had who thought it was hilarious to scream HIS head off while 3 hour trampolining sessions were going on (no problem with children on trampolines having fun, fuckwit drunk fathers another matter). Sorted that out with playing Ace of Spades on a very long loop, interspaced with Trenchtown Rock. On full blast you understand. Not that I was doing tit for tat. It worked 😆 However, you don't want to live your life like that. Just move.

That garden sounds great as long as there are heaps of people being ultra noisy every night

It sometimes makes me very cross, but then I remember that they aren't doing it to upset me, it will end, and I could be living next to someone highly antisocial rather than simply someone who enjoys large family gatherings with plenty of music.

Ok you’re a much better person than me and I admire you

I need to channel this

Make a complaint to environmental health at your council.

Then she has to declare a dispute if you sell it.

I feel your pain. My neighbours are ugnirant fuckes too. Loud shouting anc children's music. So, I piay grime rap at 11pm and lighting the bonfire. I've considering a speaker too, a loud one with base. It's the only way.
I unfortunately it is the only way, I've been here 56 years, they arrived 2 months ago.

.

OP
I have NDN exactly like this.

Selfish and inconsiderate and would regularly play loud music in her garden, even on a school night.

I recorded her every time.
Complained to the HA (we are both HA tenants) and they sent all the HA properties advisory generic warning emails about noise disruptions and being a potential breach of tenancy.

The music would be from noon to 9pm most days.

As long as you can prove that the music is causing you a statutory nuisance the council/HA absolutely can do something about it.

Its awful that people do this and I feel your pain, it's so annoying when your in your garden just trying to relax and some idiot is playing music as if your in a night club.

The music stopped after the letters were all sent.

So what is the solution then?

I second the security lights. or even better, decorative colour-changing outdoor spotlights, then angle them so that they shine against their bedroom window. Unfortunately I can personally attest to how annoying such lights can be, because I have new neighbours who have turned what was a lovely, cottagey garden into a some sort of garden ornament graveyard, where hideous unloved tat goes to die, complete with enough lighting to rival the proverbial Blackpool illuminations. Including said colour-changing spotlights, which shine right into my bedroom, through my closed curtains and through my eyelids. I can "see" them changing colour.
I am getting blackout curtains ASAP

It’s not even people chatting in the garden. I could cope with that. But music. No way on earth is that fair. Who has the right to inflict their taste on people and it’s even worse when you only hear the bass.
Nobody should mind parties occasionally. But regularly, that’s not fair.

It’s hot and lots of people are outside a lot more than normal. Yes the music’s annoying but there’s not a lot you can do. I’d rather loud summer party neighbours than wood burning stinky winter neighbours.

Not a clue

I don't worry about noise much. Advantage of being pretty deaf

God, I hope I never have to live next door to you. If you can’t imagine a way to enjoy yourself and live your life without making other people around you miserable, then I feel sorry for you and how small your world must be.

I'm afraid I think they're allowed to enjoy their house. If they are noisy past 11pm it's a different thing and is being asking then to be quiet.

I loathe people playing music in their gardens, but they probably find lots of things I do equally irritating.

I am with you OP. It’s possible to enjoy your outside space without intruding on other people’s space ie not playing music outside. It’s the equivalent of talking on your mobile on speakerphone on a train.

Sadly councils are a bit rubbish in helping, experienced myself, similar. But local council E.Health dept is the only way to get some 'help'.

There's no rule about music stopping at 11pm, that's for pubs and licences. However, you do actually have a right to enjoy your own home and the music being on for so many hours of the day, and outside you will have a valid complaint.

I absolutely hate my next door neighbour too, they moved in and the peace of my home and garden has gone, can't even watch TV or read a book.

That is just an absolutely horrible thing to do to a family for a fortnight.

Oh, ffs, get over yourself, Hyacinth....

As apposed to how ever many months/years the had to suffer living downstairs? Really?

Are you OPs neighbour?

looking at it from another perspective would it not be better to have some consideration for the people who live around you? If you want frequent parties, loud music and late night gatherings then perhaps living somewhere more rural without neighbours would be more suitable for that lifestyle. OP has paid for her space too and is entitled to enjoy it in peace sometimes. What she is describing is antisocial behaviour.