AIBU to keep complaining about noisy neighbours using their garden constantly?

[Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday]

I live in what I used to find a peaceful and pleasant row of period terraces on one of the nicer streets in my area. Last year my neighbours moved as they needed more space for their kids and a new family moved in. They:

• Eat outside and play music every dinner time and most of the evening. Often all day on the weekend. It’s very beat heavy dance music.
• Leave their big bifolds open all the time and I can hear everything that’s said in their kitchen if my own kitchen window is open/im in the garden.
• Have big, loud parties ranging from a handful of people over to up to maybe 30 people regularly. Since start of June they’ve had people round and been loud into the evening every weekend except one.
• The parties go on to around midnight and often involves playing ball games etc in the garden, and lots of loud shrieking.
• Play football a lot in their garden and kick balls into ours. The kids come over and get it if we aren’t there to pass it back.
• Are outside and talk really loudly to eachother - probably to hear themselves over the crappy music.

The pluses are they are perfectly nice to speak to, their kids are polite and friendly.

I’ve asked them to turn the volume down three times. When they’ve had people over they’ve just ignored me, and said reasonably politely that it’s not late (this was around 8pm but the thumping music started at about 2pm on Saturday). They turned it down when I complained at 9am on a Sunday.

I feel really angry and helpless at the same time. I hate it. It’s making me so sad that they are ruining a place that I’ve loved living. We barely eat outside anymore and I think back to last summer and how lovely and peaceful our home and evenings were. My kids don’t like playing outside as much as it’s just so intrusive.

Right now they are out there with a bunch of friends being noisy, and I’m sat upstairs with the window closed and a fan on with my baby in a stuffy room to avoid the noise. I’m dreading the football tomorrow.

I’ve overhead them talking about getting a projector so they can watch the game in the garden.

My DH isn’t as bothered by it and hates confrontation so is playing it down. I’m honestly thinking about moving house, but we don’t have the money to really, and our house is so lovely except for this.

AIBU

• yes - they aren’t doing anything wrong enjoying their garden so you have to suck it up
• no - you should keep complaining and not feel intimidated.

This makes complete sense. It is debilitating to live with noise that is somehow both random and yet also seemingly endless.

The football games are one thing - they're playing and it's not ideal, but okay it is a game in their space (except for the rogue balls) but the music and the loud gatherings aren't fair at all when they happen so frequently.
A birthday party is one of those where you think it isn't ideal, but whatever. But when it is any/every weekend? There is no need for that.

Because it makes it seem like you think people in poorer areas don’t deserve peace and quiet like you becuase you’re in the nicer area

So many selfish twats in this world, including on this thread.

I’ve had my share of noisy neighbours over the years and it’s truly awful and can have a hugely negative impact on people’s emotional state.

I have been very lucky over the past 15 years and I really hope it continues.

I’m not sure what to suggest OP. I don’t think the council will do anything. You may have to consider moving.

I'm crying with laughter reading that. Totally appeals to my sense of revenge.

I once sewed prawns and kipper heads into a pair of curtains that ex insisted on keeping when we split

OP has answered very graciously.

Fair point. I don’t think anyone should have to put up with it anywhere.

Honestly, I'd move. It won't change as it would make them miserable to not do as they please. If you contact the council you'd have to declare it when selling.

Fair enough. Must've been after I quoted.

I feel for you OP. Some people are sensitive to noise and some people aren't. They aren't doing anything wrong or breaking any laws. People are allowed to socialise in their own gardens and have parties that stop at midnight. Nothing they are doing is illegal or even that unreasonable apart from the bass music - which you could focus on when talking to them or the council.

Is there anything you can do to minimise the noise - plants and trees along border, fencing, sound proofing etc?

This is a good point I need to look into that

Genius 😆 🤣

have never been particularly vengeful but I have recently considered:

• throwing the dead mice my cats leave on our lawn onto their lawn
• dobbing them in if they flout a hosepipe ban (which I think the might as very attentive sprinklers of well kept lawn).

That's a lot of words to describe being antisocial

This post brought back terrible memories. Our selfish neighbours partied every weekend into the early hours. We reported them to environmental health. It made no difference. We put up with it for 5 years then moved as my husband was adamant he couldn’t do it anymore. Was truly awful and I would also say to you that it may be best to move

I do really feel for you OP, and I hope things become more peaceful.

I have observed that people are becoming increasingly inconsiderate of others, in all sorts of areas and it is horrible.

We felt the level of despair you describe when our village was invaded during lock down. It really does affect you.

I'm so sorry this happening to you.
I can understand how very upsetting and annoying this is.
I would really hate this.
To constantly live on edge because of their selfish behaviour.

I’m so sorry you went through this

"Or what about some really authentic Irish shannos singing.
Sorry don't know the right spelling."

It's probably "fnaighae". Or something.

Noise cancelling headphones are your friend. It will be winter soon.

Do you have a noise control time lile we have then can ring to get the noise turned down after 11pm like here?
Otherwise I actually enjoy happy people around me and the less so music to loud.
Tough one Op.

Honestly, I empathise, but I think YABU. Our next door neighbours are a large extended family. They love having music loudly playing from the conservatory out into the garden in the summer. They have parties late into the night. But it's legal, and even if they do go on beyond 11pm a few weeks of the year, it's not worth complaining about.

What about playing the annoying kids sing Chu Chu wa on repeat, loudly at about 7am .... (Or something that is equally likely to be an earworm song).... Sorry they are annoying!!

This is missing the point that there is a whole gamut between "enjoying your life" and enjoying your life so loudly that it impacts other people.

You can enjoy listening to music without blasting it so loudly your neighbours feel like its playing in their homes.
You can enjoy catching up with friends without having big parties lasting hours at your house every single weekend.
You can have a laugh without screeching and so on.

Basically there is a wide spectrum between sitting silently in your house not moving and being unnecessarily loud.

How about some Mongolian throat singing? I think that might work well.

Go outside with your speakers and listen to some thrash metal or something. Not saying do it excessively but at least you won't have to listen to them and it might make them think about their own music.