AIBU to keep complaining about noisy neighbours using their garden constantly?

[Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday]

I live in what I used to find a peaceful and pleasant row of period terraces on one of the nicer streets in my area. Last year my neighbours moved as they needed more space for their kids and a new family moved in. They:

• Eat outside and play music every dinner time and most of the evening. Often all day on the weekend. It’s very beat heavy dance music.
• Leave their big bifolds open all the time and I can hear everything that’s said in their kitchen if my own kitchen window is open/im in the garden.
• Have big, loud parties ranging from a handful of people over to up to maybe 30 people regularly. Since start of June they’ve had people round and been loud into the evening every weekend except one.
• The parties go on to around midnight and often involves playing ball games etc in the garden, and lots of loud shrieking.
• Play football a lot in their garden and kick balls into ours. The kids come over and get it if we aren’t there to pass it back.
• Are outside and talk really loudly to eachother - probably to hear themselves over the crappy music.

The pluses are they are perfectly nice to speak to, their kids are polite and friendly.

I’ve asked them to turn the volume down three times. When they’ve had people over they’ve just ignored me, and said reasonably politely that it’s not late (this was around 8pm but the thumping music started at about 2pm on Saturday). They turned it down when I complained at 9am on a Sunday.

I feel really angry and helpless at the same time. I hate it. It’s making me so sad that they are ruining a place that I’ve loved living. We barely eat outside anymore and I think back to last summer and how lovely and peaceful our home and evenings were. My kids don’t like playing outside as much as it’s just so intrusive.

Right now they are out there with a bunch of friends being noisy, and I’m sat upstairs with the window closed and a fan on with my baby in a stuffy room to avoid the noise. I’m dreading the football tomorrow.

I’ve overhead them talking about getting a projector so they can watch the game in the garden.

My DH isn’t as bothered by it and hates confrontation so is playing it down. I’m honestly thinking about moving house, but we don’t have the money to really, and our house is so lovely except for this.

AIBU

• yes - they aren’t doing anything wrong enjoying their garden so you have to suck it up
• no - you should keep complaining and not feel intimidated.

It’s just basic consideration of other people isn’t it? No one would mind an occasional party but constant noise and a complete lack of respect for your neighbours is very rude and antisocial. If you have to live in close proximity to other people you have to be mindful of those people and the effect your actions have on them.
Why is basic common decency and respect such a misunderstood concept in modern Britain? It never used to be.

His name is Bing.
Not bingo.
And he is not a twerp.
He's got lovely ears and neat dungarees and always tries to be cheerful and helpful.
Leave Bing alone.

And you should be annoying too.....You are allowed to make noise

How exactly does this 'everyone take up space' utopia actually practically work then? If every house in a street blared music at the same volume then nobody would be "enjoying their life" because nobody would be able to hear their own music properly.

Let alone the babies who can't sleep through the din, people on night shifts, etc.

Unless you are willing and able to visit extreme violence upon them, they will always be horrid.

Your comment re being a nice area is perfectly valid - deprived areas suffer from far more antisocial behaviour than middle class ones.

Your only realistic option is to move, but even then you never know what you are moving into.

Observation: To add insult to injury, it's always really crap music isn't it??

Ha, actually I have found that middle class people can very much behave in an entitled manner - “I work blah blah hours a week and I contribute to society and I’m better than all those plebs who are (on maternity leave) not working, so I’ll blast my music as much as I like in my time off, where’s my wine?“

They're just existing in the space they own

Which would be fine if sound stopped at fences.

Yep. Or really boomy music.

we used to have neighbours who’d play rave type drum and base all Sunday. Loud. And then shout to each other because it was so loud. It was delightful. Then the dogs would start.

although the whole parenting/carer situation is a bit weird?!

@Jamtomorrowneverjamtoday how has it been? How are you?

I would hate this. We had a party on Saturday for my daughter’s (18th) birthday. I made her tell the neighbours first and they all had to be out at midnight. It was more like 1am in the end because the stragglers were watching the football. They were insanely loud, all singing in the garden but it was very much a one off. I was so conscious of the neighbours and apologised the next day (to which they alll said it was absolutely fine and fun to hear them all singing).

no issues whatsoever with the odd party or loud afternoon but if it was all the time it would really annoy me.

They’ve been fairly quiet this evening. I think the husband is out, and he seems to be the one who likes the music loud, so it was not deafening.

They were having dinner outside at the same time as us just when my oldest quite suddenly vomited…. Very noisy retching etc. So I do hope they enjoyed that!

Baby has thankfully had it and recovering today. I feel like I haven’t slept for several weeks.

I spoke to another neighbour, briefly, who said he was “tolerating it quite well” but I should speak to his wife. So sounds like she’s having a hard time with it, too.

Urgh that sounds horrendous

and yes @superspideysense it’s always awful to my ears.

Im not great on music genres but it sounds either like Ibiza club anthems from the 90s or sometimes this really grungy, heavy dance music that genuinely makes me feel anxious. Like you’d expect at 5am when everyone’s off their face, but it’s just over a nice family dinner.

I guess people have different taste and that’s all good, but honestly this couldn’t be further from mine!

Sorry you're having to deal with this OP. Loud music every day and parties every weekend is very inconsiderate. They may perhaps get better in the winter but then they might just take the partying inside. They are very unlikely to change so for your own sanity you should think about moving. Don't bother complaining to the council, they won't do anything as they are not really breaking any laws you just have very incompatible lifestyles.

That’s promising - noise complaints often need more than one person to complain (otherwise it could just be the complainer being unreasonable, but more than one shows it’s not just them). See what you can do to put pressure on the council!

The council will do something, its anti social behaviour, We were driven mad by a large family from Eastern Europe they were always in the street with tables and chairs etc drinking and smoking weed playing loud music from the house, its only a small dead end street so we and some other neighbours got on to the council with video evidence and they were evicted we've been here 40 years and neighbour the other side 30 years, the council have to act, ours didn't right away and some were a bit rude but we got there in the end. You can't just do what you want and fuck everyone else. We are all entitled to live in peace but some people only think of themselves.

If you do move, move somewhere you are far from neighbours!

If they are reasonable people you should really try talking to them about it. I have had a series of thuggish neighbours who have told me to F off when I have asked them to turn music down.