AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

Letting your family but not your in-laws is shitty.

You are right. Do they realise that you woild need to forgo income to facilitate their cheap holiday?

actually i think you are wrong,
perhaps give them a reduced rate

Seems reasonable to me. It’s a bit ‘my family can’ your family can’t. But it’s cheeky of them. But saying it’s a business in peak time apart from your parents who had a long standing arrangement with it.

I probably would let my in laws, as I really like them, are very grateful to them for lots of things they’ve done and they wouldn’t take the piss.

I agree with the first poster who said letting your parents but not your in-laws is shitty.

I would let them go. Why wouldn't you want to treat the parents of the man you love

I agree. I think you should be treating in laws the same as your own family - either both sides have a free week in high season or neither set of parents. When I got married, I accepted that my in laws would become part of my family and I always tried to treat them the same as my parents.

My partner's fanily are my family and we arent even legally married. I'd not want to be with someone who saw it any other way.

So you let your parents have it for free but not your in-laws?

You sound mean.

But it’s hers, not her husbands.

And - losing one week of peak season revenue she may be able to get her head around - but two weeks worth is far more significant.

Sorry but did they just ask you to use your villa?

Cheeky F’s!!

There's "treating" your in laws, e.g. to a nice meal out or a special day trip. But if OP is losing say, £2000 by giving up a peak week it becomes an extremely expensive "treat"

Its hers, not her husband's. Is that the kind of.marriage approach you encourage? Or just towards men?

It's a business amd income stream.... not a garden tool lying around.

I'd offer them 2 choices, they can pay full rate now or go in off season for free...

I’ve offered half the price and they said they can’t afford that… I also don’t feel like it’s worth “gifting” my in laws a few thousand pounds just because they don’t feel like paying

Only unreasonable because you would let your parents have a peak week for free. That costs you income too, I appreciate you feel they allowed you to have it but it does seem like you are happy to miss a weeks ‘wage’ for them and not your in laws. Obv would be nice if in laws offered some money for the week

I totally agree with you. Would any one here happily give their in-laws a week of their salary? It’s essentially the same thing. I’d do it for my parents but not my inlaws (who I like very much, BTW!)

I’d stand firm. This is your income.

Your parents stay for free as they have passed on the inheritance. Completely different!

I would compromise on not the peakest of season but maybe just out of this e.g end of June/beginning of September. You would need to set very clear boundaries though as they might be the type of person that then expects their friends and other family to also use it
Yes you will lose out money but you can't buy good family relations. They are your partners parents plus grandparents to any children.
Maybe try it one and reassess.

It is typical though that families tend to expect use of these kinds of things in a way that isn't entirely reasonable (see the thread yesterday about the horse)

I would just explain about loss of income and that in peak season you need to let it out at full price. You could always suggest cheaper places to them.

This tension is the consequence of your separate finances with your DH. (No judgement, just observation.)

The situation wouldn't come up in a marriage with shared finances because it wouldn't be ME taking a financial hit to give YOUR parents a free holiday.

It depends how high your joint income is and how much you want to do something nice for your in laws. If you're both earning a lot and it won't impact your spending particularly, it's a really nice thing to do if they'll appreciate it. If they'll come to expect it and they're ungrateful people, it's your choice but might affect your relationship long-term.

So what's the back story with your relationship with your in-laws.
Do you feel they don't deserve to somehow, even as a good will gesture it would be nice if you could compromise a week somewhere at half price.
Depending on where it is, September in alot of places is good weather.
Is this the first time they've asked, how long have you been married?
Surely there's some give here op.

Do the realise it would be the equivalent of you just gifting them x thousands of pounds? I like my in laws but I wouldn't just bung them huge wodges of cash.

I think it's completely different letting your parents use it to your in laws if the house was originally a family property..

My parents contributed to it financially as I’ve said, it’s early inheritance / family money. So had they not bought it for me… I would have the villa or the income stream.
my in laws have contributed nothing

Of course yanbu.

You’ve said that the rental is your income.

If the thread was aibu to take a week unpaid leave to sort out my in laws holidays, or aibu to pay for my in laws holiday it would be a resounding yanbu.

Why should op lose a weeks salary?