AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

Ask your DH to cover your lost income?

And if he doesn’t, ask him to explain it to his parents.

I think it's crazy entitled for your in laws to expect use of your villa during peak season, knowing it loses you income in a seasonal business model.

Just because your son happens to marry into a perk like this, that doesn't make you entitled to benefit from it on terms you dictate.

You’re clearly wealthy. You could afford to be generous for family. I’m sure you’ll still have plenty of money for your coffee and clothes. And if you can afford it for your parents, you can afford it for his parents too.

I would but I adored my in laws. If you're financially doing okay, one week without the income shouldn't be an issue. If you were struggling financially I'd understand not wanting to lose the income but you said your dh earns well and you earn more. I'd ask them to cover the cost of the cleaner though after their stay and the pool guys wages for that week, if you have one.

Half price I’d agree to, but they still think it’s too much. To them because it earns x thousand per week in high season, it’s almost like I wouldn’t “notice” a week of income missing / I already have enough.

to me it’s like gifting them over a thousand pounds in cash, why would I.

our relationship is fine. I find them annoying in some little ways, I’m sure there’s things they dislike about me. On the whole I can get on with them for the length of a weekend or family dinner but wouldn’t choose to spend my holiday with them and I think we’d have more clashes on holiday abroad if we were to do it together.

Goodness I’d be devastated if I’d married a very wealthy man who allowed his own parents to use his holiday home but refused mine on the basis that ‘it’s his, not his wife’s’. Thank goodness my DH would never in a million years do this.

I wouldn’t offer it to them in peak season at all tbh, I think it’s complicating things.

Just say you can’t afford to lose the money so you won’t be doing any free weeks in peak season.

Your inlaws are CFs.
Even before I saw you had offered a reduced rate.
It's your income stream. Why would they think its ok for you to pay for their holiday?

Also op has been more then generous by offering it out of peak season or at half the market rent.

if they cant afford it at a reduced rate then they will have to go elsewhere i think

Of course it’s different for her parents they gifted her the property in the first place!

It’s annoying when in laws just don’t understand your work / finances. This isn’t a jolly treat it’s your income stream. Like when my mil could not get her head round that working abroad was still working. She’d intimate I was off on a holiday and how lucky I wasrather than a gruelling batch of negotiations just because I got on a plane.

He won’t cover it for sure!
He’s tried to explain it to his parents but it’s all very soft “maybe one day” and “I’m sorry” whereas I feel like there’s nothing to be sorry about - the price is x, if they can’t afford even half of x then it is what it is!

In principle I agree, your in laws are not your parents, they are not entitled to the same privileges. People are such freeloaders.

It’s a weak argument to say peak season is out because that’s when you make your money if you then let your own parents use it free in peak season. You need to be firmer that you are making an exception for your parents because they ultimately are the reason you have the villa in the first place.

First response nails it as always.

It doesn’t sound like you are strapped for cash if you can let your parents stay for free. So I can’t see why you wouldn’t do the same for your DH’s parents. It seems petty to say no.

You are totally reasonable on all counts

people saying you have to treat own parents and PIL equally can’t have read the bit where your parents actually paid for part of the villa purchase

id think you were reasonable anyway though as you have separate money- DH can subsidise his parents holiday if he wants from his money (perhaps he’d like to pay you the rent?)

Would ypur DH take a week on unpayed leave to help your family have a holiday? Because that is basically what they are asking.

This is the issue with married couples having separate finances and assets.

Your in laws see your cash and assets as fungible, but you don't...

Have you explained your finances are separate?

Goodness, the entitlement of his family. Tell them they can have a free week when they provide a similar value early inheritance.

or of course, your husband could pay for them.

First time in many decades of Mumsnetting that I don’t think ‘first post nails it’.

I agree with you - it’s cheeky of them to ask you to forgo a weeks income. It is different with your parents as it sounds like you wouldn’t have the villa without them.

Your In laws are CFs to even ask!

"We don't want to pay a thousand pounds"

"I don't want to lose a thousand pounds"

They obviously know how much a thousand pounds is. What us there to understand?

How important is the income from your villa? It sounds like financially are able to forgo the odd week of income from it for your own parents so why not them? If you really had a bad relationship with them and they were CFs then I would understand your viewpoint but it sounds like they are fair and you have a decent relationship with them.

Ultimately it’s your choice of course but it does sound a bit mean of you. One option (which my friend does in a similar situation ) is for you to charge mates’ rates. My friend is happy as long as the costs are covered for the week friends stay there in high season, so when I went last August I paid her €100 per night. It has a pool, hot tub, cleaner etc so quite high costs to run. She was happy to have those covered without making any profit but it wasn’t costing her anything either, and she was doing something nice for a friend. I was happy as I couldn’t have afforded what a property like that would have cost me for a week.

sometimes it’s good to do something for friends / family without it being about cold hard cash.

Thisssss!

Ask your husband to pay you the difference. If he complains, ask why it's alright for you to pay for your in law's holiday but not their son?

People seem to think that rentals aren't real money, it's not a 'real' job so can't equate it as being the same as asking someone to handover a week's worth of income from their office job. It's the same entitlement of asking your lawyer friend to go to court for you...for free and saying it doesn't cost them anything.

I suppose you couldn't exactly charge your parents for it if they gave you the villa/money in the first place. It's a delicate one.

Fair comment.

But the OP sounds ridiculously wealthy and frankly tight as a duck's arse...so there is that as well.

If the villa is fully booked from May til Sept - surely one week for each set of parents is not going to break the bank!

A lot of responses seem based on the instinct that it's sitting empty otherwise, in which case yes it would be mean to let some people in the family use it and not others.
But it's like giving away £2000! Not buying dinner or lending your bicycle to someone when you're away. Even people with enough money to be comfortable don't routinely give out thousands because of a social expectation.
And of course OP's parents use it. They paid for it, at least in some substantial way. Very different.
Don't do it unless you want to.
If your DH finds this awkward perhaps he'd like to make up for your lost income at least to halfway so it's not only you taking the hit. Completely unfair otherwise.