AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

You can do what you want with your own villa obviously, and I don't think you're exactly wrong in what you're saying, but you sound almost like you are gearing up for a fight about this. Your husband earns a "very good salary" and you earn even more, so is it truly the case that you could not bear the loss of this income on a single occasion, or do you just not want to do it because you don't like them very much?

I agree with OP. Her parents contributed to the villa, ILs did not.
They are CFs. Perhaps her DH could pay for them ?

I had the same problem with adult SCs. They reluctantly paid full price, but my caretaker reported damaged and missing items.

Have PILs ever helped you out financially or given childcare to save money? If so I might say yes as a one-off and only if it was covered by your joint income. Ofherwise but no freebies on peak season! They will just have to be disappointed.

I completely agree with you OP. It’s the equivalent of giving them your salary for a couple of weeks. I doubt that the posters who are saying you’re unreasonable would give their in-laws a couple of weeks wages just because they wanted it!

I also understand why your parents can use it for free in peak seasons because they gave it to you.

You’ve been generous offering it for half price. If they can’t afford it they need to book somewhere they can afford like we all have to do. They’re being cheeky.

I would let them have the week on the understanding that it was a one-off and if they wanted to go again it would have to be full price or in low season (and this would still incur running costs for you). Explain your parents bought this villa for you and it is your main income source and that is why they get a peak season stay. They have put you in a difficult situation by asking

I also don’t think that the fact that the OP’s parents helped buy the villa is the answer. Imagine if we totted up everything that respective parents/ relatives gave to the individuals before the marriage and then acted accordingly? Oh my side of the family gave the dining table, piano, made the curtains in the lounge and paid for private school, therefore they get first choice of spare room and priority access to the grandkids?

The OP’s parents weren’t forced to give her help with buying the house, and I suspect they can afford it. The house is a marital asset whether the OP likes it or not. The loss of income to the OP would have the same effect regardless of who originally bought the house.

Your parents bought the villa and have a week as part of that deal. Your inlaws have been offered a free off-peak stay which is kind. If you cave once, they will want it every year, two weeks, a week for their neighbour etc. If they can’t afford the generous half-price peak offer, can they afford the flights etc or are you expected to cover those too? This is your income, not an unused lawnmower. And people who get things free, often don’t value them.

I do think it would be a bit odd for your DH not to chip in too though. All sounds very mercenary. I think I’d offer half price and then you and DH cover what they can’t afford between you. And as a one off.

Dont expect any childcare from them.

They are being totally unreasonable. It's your business and they would be taking money directly out of your pocket.

Your parents are different. They helped with the investment, it's an unwritten part of the deal.

Your ILs don't want it too much, not even enough to pay half or risk off peak. Yet they want you to pay in full, yes pay not give for something they don't particularly want.

I would be very cross about this.

Your DH should not be saying sorry. He should be saying nope, this period is when she makes money for the year.

If you had a manufacturing business, would they think they could go in and help themselves to stock for free even though you were fulfilling orders with it that you would then lose? And then they said it wasn't worth it even if you charged them cost.

I guess the issue is you told them about it. You probably told them that your parents went.

have they ever helped you with childcare etc? If so maybe see it as payment for that?

if they are generally hopeless and not that helpful then I’d probably feel the same tbh.

they are barefaced not taking the offer of a May week - that sounds perfectly nice to me!

But the expectation would surely be that he helps her between jobs or in the evening when he isn’t actually working. You’d not expect him to turn down paid work to help her for free surely?

I agree with you and they’re being entitled. It’s not as if you haven’t offered them anything at all. However, I’d probably offer it to them for very low cost well out of season so October to April.

If op can afford to do it for her parents for free then she could do it for the in laws for free...seems very mean spirited

I think they are very cheeky to ask. Had you offered say an off peak week that would be different, but it does say something about them that they asked .... not only asked but are demanding what they do or do not want .... what they are prepared (not) to pay, when they are prepared to go. I can imagine that they might not be easy people in general.

I feel like as a compromise your DH could cover half the cost of the stay as a one off gift so it’s not all your loss. If DH isn’t bothered about doing that, then i’d simply say no. I don’t understand why people are comparing it to your parents though and suggesting it needs to be fair, it’s obviously a totally different situation if they have put money into it!

Do your ILs know it’s an income stream?
Have you explained that you can’t afford to lose a weeks income in peak season?

As others have said I’d offer them an off peak week, or a reduced rate. It does seem unfair though if you offer it free to your parents but not your husbands.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with separate finances as long as both parties are happy with the split of bills, repair funds, holiday costs etc. Part of your income is a villa. The villa makes most money during high season and so the income from this is smoothed over the year.

You allow your parents to stay at your villa, it costs you X amount. You are happy to give your parents X amount out of your money after you've paid your share of household costs.

Your inlaws want to stay. As a favour you've offered the villa for x/2 amount. They don't want to pay that. Does your husband want to give his parents x/2? No? Sad he's not as generous with his parents as you are with yours.

The problem in this scenario is that they might chose to take that same attitude as you, and you'll be yet another poster moaning how the in-laws favour their other child and in law other you. When they agree to babysit for one child but not yours. When they give early inheritance to them but not you etc...

As long as you are prepared for them to treat you differently the same way you are treating them differently to your parents, then do what you want. It's a bit sad though, not very family minded.

Effectively, your in-laws are asking you to gift them a few thousand.
This is the income you would lose by giving them the villa for free in peak season.

Offering your in-laws the use of the villa for free in the off-season is more than generous. Your in-laws are more than cheeky for asking it for free during peak season instead.

Ignore posters who say that you should gift them the villa for free. I doubt these CFs would be that generous themselves.

Then just shrug your shoulder and say ok. And when they say "but we want it in July still" say "you know I can't do that, keeping asking isn't going to make me do something I don't want to do, it's going to make me not want to give you anything at all. You're asking me to gift you thousands of pounds, I earn this money to provide for your grandchildren. I don't understand why you would expect me to give you that much money for a holiday."

It sounds like your joint income is very very high, they do say the more money you have the less generous people are and I think this may be a good example.

To not to allow this for your in laws when their usual holiday budget is a quarter of the price and your parents are allowed seems a little unkind I have to say.

Are you worried it will become a regular thing? Could you say yes but as a one off?

Yes I absolutely can afford to let them use it for free in the sense that, after tax etc that week will “cost” me perhaps a new outfit and several dinners out with friends. Could I go without that outfit and dinner out? Probably. But would I enjoy buying a new outfit and going for dinner, more than not? Of course!

Wow.

So they're being choosy beggars. Definitely not the type of behaviour that I'd reward with £1000 in lost income.