AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

She doesn't need a "policy." It's her villa and her decision. She's already said her
DH won't cover it if you rtft.

I see a few suggestions to let them have it once - in our experience anything you offer once quickly becomes something that is expected every single time! So if you’re not willing to do it every year then just never do it.

You’ve offered them other options, such as low season and a reduced rate.

OP has said that her in-laws can stay there without paying during the off-peak season. Therefore, she hasn't refused to let them use her villa for free. They can also stay there at a reduced rate during high season. This is OP's income stream so she isn't being unreasonable not to want to lose money.

I think it's cheeky of them to ask.

You are treating the two sides of the family very differently so that will cause upset

at the end of the day it seems you as a couple ( which is how it works if married ) are happy to gift much greater financial amounts to your side over your DH side - not nice behaviour

and clearly it’s an amount you could afford , and given they rarely spend even half your rate on a holiday , I guess money is tighter for them

@Pigriver
so we’ve had a conversation about maybe a week in May for them, at half the market price for that time of year. They said that, given the weather isn’t 100% guaranteed that time of year, like it would be in July or August, they don’t feel that kind of price is justified (half price in May is approx what they’d pay for their holiday normally in peak August, maybe tiny bit more than they’d usually spend, but the weather in August is of course more certain).
so it’s almost like giving them a May week would cause disappointment AND a loss of income. Worst of both worlds

A weeks really not a big compromise for Family!
How miserable you are.

I was nodding along agreeing with you until you said that your parents get a week.

On reflection - yes, since they’ve asked and consider themselves too good for low season, I would let them have one week in high season for nothing every year. I’m afraid I would probably also make it very slightly uncomfortable for them - long list of rules, make it very clear that you consider this a very major gift, dropping their Christmas gift down to a box of chocs, causing furrowed brow drama over post-week problems at the villa. I would also burst into raucous laughter as soon as they start taking the piss and asking if other family members can have another week etc. But then passive-aggressive is my middle name.

Yes. I was with you until you said you allow your parents to go in peak season but not your husband’s parents. It seems a bit pointed.

If you earn more than your husband it sounds like one week wouldn’t kill you for family harmony.

I agree with the posters suggesting that the OP's DH should cover the cost (and explain to his own parents if he refuses to do that).

If he wouldn't take the financial hit, why should she?

Are your patents using it alone or with you?

Anyway, you need to rephrase it. Your parents helped to buy it, have a kind of interest in the villa, and are staying there because of that.

It's interesting how many people are generous with your income. Let's imagine you were a tradesperson. Would they expect you to work for them for free in the peak season, or accept the off season help?

Your in laws are being completely out of order.

My Dsis has a holiday home in Cornwall and made it crystal clear at the outset that she couldn't do any freebies or cheapies during high season for any family. It's a business so fair enough.

Is May not off peak if the weather isn’t guaranteed? Sounds like you’ve moved the goalposts?

No, you are not being unreasonable, Hard to believe they are cheeky enough to ask this and expect you to agree. Don't do it, even for the sake of 'family relations'. They are definitely the type to ask again and again, for more each time.

The fact that your parents get to use it occasionally is simply acknowledging the fact that without them, you wouldn't have the villa in the first place.

They are CF's and your husband needs to back you on this with a bit more conviction i think. You clearly have separate finances so why on earth should you 'gift' his parents a large amount of money 🙄

What does DH think? If you did give them a week, the money you are losing should be transferred from your joint account, it shouldn’t just come from your income.

‘Would they expect you to work for them for free in the peak season’

I think it’s fair to say that if I’d married a plumber, my mum absolutely would have expected at the least mates’ rates for some plumbing work, and probably free.

Can there not be a compromise? Is there a block of time per year that you can offer both your family and your inlaws from which to nominate a week each?
Call it their combined Christmas birthday gifts.
Your family has one week. And your inlaws another week. Never in the peak season. Both families treated the same and both knowing that it is your income.
All choosing the dates a year out so to plan.

Separately, offer any short notice cancellation dates, including during peak season, to family and friends at a vastly reduced rate - first in best dressed.

You'd essentially be buying them a holiday. They'll have a holiday, you'll be thousands out of pocket. You've paid for their holiday.

Just say no it's fully booked from whenever to whenever, you can go between whenever and whenever. If you want a free holiday then those are the dates available to you. You don't need to over explain and defend yourself. This is the boundary, end of conversation.

They are very unreasonable to expect a free holiday at peak time. You have offered a free week low season so they should be extremely grateful for that. Don’t feel guilty you offered they refused, their decision. I can’t afford peak season luxury Airbnb so I either go for budget or wait for out of season at a price I can afford. They are at fault not you.

This really. But we dont divide family along his and hers lines in my marriage.

Maybe your husband could pay for them? It’s a tricky one. But it is your house and your income. Plus a one off it will not be! All very awkward. What does your DH think?

I seem to be in the minority but I think you’re being incredibly tight.

I agree with this.

The fact that her side brought it is extremely relevant in the situation, ie them being married. Because OP can hardly charge her parents for a property they bought in the first place. The same doesn't apply to people who didn't fund it.

If you want to speculate about a different situation such as a divorce, equally the DH wouldn't be able to just refuse his equal share of costs or umm and ahh either. His money would also be in the pot.