AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

You sound tight. You said you both earn well and it doesn’t sound like letting them stay will impact your lifestyle in any way. If my husband were being tight with my parents, it would change how I think about him.

This contrasts wildly with low income people I know who saved for a caravan in Wales and couldn’t wait to treat their family to free stays. It gives them great pleasure.

So you own the villa as a result of inheritance from your side of the family, not money from your husbands side, so because of this your family get priority in my mind.

You have kindly said they can use it in low season without payment.

If they want to pay you the market rate for whatever week is available, I would ensure it is paid in advance but to let them use without payment is effectively you losing income and paying for their holiday.

It would be a firm no from me.

It's your business and there's no reason why they should deprive you of income. Insert any other business here and ask yourself how that sits with you - if you were a wedding photographer would you do an in law's wedding for free at peak season? If you were a tailor would you make your FiL's suits for free?

But I would treat parents and in laws the same I think.

Equally, if my husband thought I should treat his parents entirely from my own pocket and wasn't willing to make up any of the costs from his, that would change how I thought about him. Not that we have separate finances anyway, but if we did.

Do you legit believe they cannot afford a holiday?

I also dont think you "owe" parents and in laws equality.

Ultimately they are taking money away from your children.

Say if they don't want to pay the can go post oct half term or pre easter

If you let them have it for free once , you are setting a precedent not just for your PIL but for other in-laws and even their friends .
Happened to someone I know.

I have a lodge. My parents stay off peak for free, or the odd peak weekend if not booked. They understand that's how I pay for the fees so don't ask otherwise. This applies to my husband's mum too. They are grateful. Essentially you would be paying for their holiday.
If you do, I would say that you wouldn't be able to do it again, as they may think it could become a regular thing.

Yep - would definitely do all of that for free.

I’d just ask in-laws “so just so I’m clear, are you asking me to give you £x000 (whatever you would lose)? As you know this income is my salary and I pay tax on it so I’m a bit confused about why you’re asking for my salary which I rely on to pay the bills. I’m happy for you to stay at another time as already offered”

I get the principle but it also sounds like you've got plenty of money coming in and you could afford to give them a week as a one off.

This

Seems mean to let your family stay but not your in-laws. Treat them the same.

You clearly haven't read the bit about OP only having the villa because her parents contributed to buying it.

You earn more than DH but this income just pays for your spending? Does DH cover all the household bills or do you split them? It's not really clear.

In general, I think the "it's a business" and not free in peak system is fair. Your parents can go because they paid in, but if DH is paying more than his share at home then he is also effectively paying in, so maybe his parents should be treated the same if he wants?

But her family paid for the place. It’s very different.

I think it is a bit mean unless there is a massive backstory about them being really stingy.

You and your husband are both high earners. Would it really kill you to give them one week during peak season?

I think it depends how much impact it would have on your finances. We have a holiday home and there have been times when we’ve been very relaxed about people using it and we’ve not bothered to rent it out. It was great letting family and friends use it. We didn’t need the money.

These days it’s rented out in peak season because my OH has stopped working for a while and we are renovating a property so we need the income.

Absolutely this!

This. If it’s really true that your income is more than your husband’s and yours is all spending money that just makes it worse.

Because one set of parents paid for the villa and one didn't, treating them the same isn't possible. The situation doesn't allow for identical. But there's an argument that OP offering ILs a free, off peak week in a villa they didn't pay for is more favourable. OPs parents are getting a very small return on what must've been a large sum, ILs are getting a genuine freebie.

I would probably phrase it "I can only afford to allow off-peak free weeks by ensuring that I maximise the income during the peak weeks".

Your DH needs to be the one to communicate this to them. He needs to put it bluntly in terms of it being you effectively being asked to give them £X,000.

The problem is if you allow it once you set a precedent. They might take to wanting to go annually, they might start asking if other in-laws can have a week there for free (word gets round about freebies !).

You could mention a tax rule that the property needs to be formally let for a certain number of weeks to avoid a punitive local property tax coming into play (I believe this is the case for UK holiday lets).

Regardless of the source of the original income a week at peak season costs you the same whether it’s your parents or PIL or friends. I think need to come up with same policy for all.

Ultimately can you afford to give up 2 weeks of peak season income? Tbh I’d be inclined to come to an arrangement with your parents they “pay” for it.

Or ask DH to pay you for his parents holiday?

As a pp said will it really be a one off? What happens next summer especially if they’ve had a lovely time

How much will it actually affect your life to lose that money?

I would err on the side of generosity for family, but your husband should definitely pay at least half so you’re splitting the ‘gift’ to his parents.

You've been more than generous by offering them a free week in low season. The comparison to your family is irrelevant because they helped to buy it. I wouldn't let them use it at all now after the cheek of them.