To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake - Update

[Dinnertext]

Hi all, my previous thread closed before I had the chance to add any further post today. For those interested, my friend replied to my message where I said I was upset she hadn’t apologised.

She ignored that part, and basically demanded I re-invite her on Saturday because it’s too late for her to make any alternative plans and it’s unfair to expect her to spend the evening alone. She reiterated the takeaway ‘offer’ and said as far as she is concerned , my Husband has said she’s still more than welcome to attend.

DH has just repeated the same position in that he’s staying out of it and that he wouldn’t turn anyone away at the door. He has basically told me this evening to be the bigger person and draw a line under it and not risk ruining his and his friends evening.

Hi OP, can you please add a link to your first thread please?
I was following it, but forgot to Watch and Save it so I missed the last half!

I am totally on your side btw! She is CF of the highest order, and your H is behaving really badly by not supporting you. 💐

Actually that might be more effort than they deserve.

Just buy some calamine lotion and just before they arrive cover your arms and face in the stuff and run to the door before your “D”H and welcome them in with a big smile saying “lovely to see you - such a wonderful distraction from the itch I’m experiencing. Have consulted Dr Google and it could be anything from scabies, shingles to heat rash…but do come in a make yourselves welcome”.

The real issue here is your selfish and disloyal DH.

I’d be considering binning him off after this. He’s clearly shown where you rank in his priorities and it’s below his football, his misogynist mate, his comfort and his beer (and his money, by the sound of it). As a PP said, life’s too short for this kind of bullshit. You’ll never forget this incident and the fact he didn’t have your back when he should have done. And if he can’t back you on something like this, where else is he going to come up short? I’m sorry - you must be so disappointed in him.

If that is possible I love that! 😂

I’ve teed my Mum up that as it stands I’ll be joining her on Saturday, and she completely understands my reasons and says she will make sure we have a lovely evening.

I don’t know for sure, but I think my friend IS planning on coming round from what DH has said. I’ve heard nothing further from her, and DH has no intention of messaging his friend to tell him she’s not welcome. I got snappy with him over dinner, as he said he is more annoyed with (his words) ‘this starting to over shadow England’s biggest game for years’ so ‘he wants us to stop behaving like school kids’.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5551730-to-un-invite-friend-from-dinner-after-she-sent-me-message-by-mistake?reply=153419713

Your husband just made me feel physically ill. Yuk. What a pathetic loser.

Not that you should have to leave your own house but could you justify an overnight stay at a nice hotel, possibly with spa facilities?

Whatever happens, I think the CF friends should be hosting your DH (the’D’ is for disloyal in this instance).

I know! Like how hard is it for OPs ex friend to apologise? And how hard is it for her DH to have her back?!

Seriously - reminder function - there's an over-ride option that appears on screen as a brief warning, but you can't stop it if there's no battery in the remote.

DH found this out when he wouldn't change the battery in his "magic" remote cheapskate.

😁

I would have told him to get fucked.

Apologies, this is the link to the original - https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5551730-to-un-invite-friend-from-dinner-after-she-sent-me-message-by-mistake

Oh god...I got this whole scenario wrong....they are cannibals? 😱😱😱. Who was the choice of food? Can you not rearrange the "meat" to more her taste? 🤣.

On a serious note..let them come over, say thanks for coming guys, have a lovely meal, husband is cooking tonight as im off out, may see tou later though, text me if tou want me to stop off at the shop for rennies.

Enjoy your night guys 😘🤣🤣🤣

This! What a fucker.

You know damn well she has other options for Saturday because of the message she accidentally sent you.

I'd book a spa night. Wouldn't tell any of them, they have have their nice little threesome. Tell your DH he made his choice and his priorities clear.

This would massively impact our relationship, he's not "staying out of it" he is fully against you. That's not a marriage.

I’m going against popular convention here, but I’m not fussed on spa’s - I could book a hotel, but I am reluctant to pay Saturday night prices just because my friend has decided to ignore my wishes.

Absolutely right. Can you stay over at your mum’s? Do you need to come home, or could you have a girl’s night, watch Pretty Woman at 10.25 and then kip at hers? DH is going to be up to 1am, steaming drunk and snore all night. Even a night on your mum’s sofa would be better than that?

Whoops, totally missed that epic typo!

@Dinnertextis she still your friend and does she have form for being awful?

I know someone like this she treats everyone so badly, full on tantrums sometimes and then behaves like everyone else is dramatic . She breezes along with no shame whatsoever. They walk among us.

Was a good one though!! 🤣🤣🤣

@Dinnertext

you need to get into the mindset that she is not your friend and stop calling her that

shes not going to apologise so you need to start referring to her as DHs friends wife

Totally get that and I really don’t think you should be chased out of your own house. She’s got more neck than a brass monkey and your husband is not covering himself in glory either!

How has your husband not completely given you the ick? He sounds like a 14 year old boy with the ‘biggest game’ shit.

@SpringSunshines It's really nothing to do with the food, it's the realization that this "friend" talks negatively about the OP to other people. Having been caught doing it, she now won't apologize...is that what friends do?

I think that life's too short to bother with bitchy people like her and this won't be the first time she's bitched about the OP if they've known each other years.

Have read both, but could you not turn it and go to hers?

or send DH there?

If I have missed the answer to that you need to decide your boundary and the friendship.

eg, just reply saying

yeah sure, happy to consider it when I get the apology.