To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake - Update

[Dinnertext]

Hi all, my previous thread closed before I had the chance to add any further post today. For those interested, my friend replied to my message where I said I was upset she hadn’t apologised.

She ignored that part, and basically demanded I re-invite her on Saturday because it’s too late for her to make any alternative plans and it’s unfair to expect her to spend the evening alone. She reiterated the takeaway ‘offer’ and said as far as she is concerned , my Husband has said she’s still more than welcome to attend.

DH has just repeated the same position in that he’s staying out of it and that he wouldn’t turn anyone away at the door. He has basically told me this evening to be the bigger person and draw a line under it and not risk ruining his and his friends evening.

As @OneFineDay22says Who on earth invites themselves round to a house where the hostess has rescinded their invitation?
Completely insane.

Can’t apologise and insists on invading the OP’s personal space.

Someone with NPD? 😂

I had to laugh at cut the plug off the tv.
Im really angry for you OP, your DH is awful and thinks more of his friendship with those arse holes than he does of you.
I think its a shame that you might have to leave your home so they can come round.
I would stand on the door step and say when they arrive that you don't want them in your house and they should be ashamed at turning up no matter that your poor excuse of a DH wants them round.
I would make my DH life miserable and tell him I will never forgive his betrayal.
Oh and put a laxative i the pizza.

Pleeeease do this.

Beyond plain bad manners in to really weird behaviour.
You must host me!

Do not leave your home to appease your spineless dh, zero support just wants you to be the bigger person so he can have what he wants.

Hi Sue, I will not be hosting you, take away or otherwise.

Then block her, life is too short for this entitled sort of shit. Don’t be made out to be the bad person and don’t accept rudeness from people. Stand your ground and tell your dh to pop to the butchers for a spine.

That’s not dramatic that’s having boundaries!
I really feel for you, what should have been a swift realisation between you and your DH of “yeuk, no longer a friend of ours” has developed into a real issue just for you because he has no boundaries or loyalty to you.
I go to bed 10ish but if you were my daughter I’d certainly stay up and watch the match with you and make it an occasion.

Go to your mum’s, and when you get home go straight upstairs and read/watch something in bed.

She’s not your friend.

Why are people advocating the op leaving her own home because her mad friend has said she has to host and her dh is a selfish sod? This is her home, she gets to decide who’s in it. Why should the op inconvenience herself at the behest of the selfish folk around her. Is the bar so low now on respect?

Ever heard of a premier Inn?

Big bed to yourself, room service, air con and a cooked breakfast in the morning.

Sounds like a perfect spontaneous getaway for 1 to me.

Let your disloyal, gaslighting DH have his football and go do something for yourself.

Do not let him guilt you into spending an evening with that cowbag!

Because her DH has already told her he'll let them in and expect her to play along.

I'd absolutely be fecking off for some R&R.

Preferably on his dime.

Honestly l would just leave them to it, book a hotel room for the night, with breakfast, job done.

Ah let it go after all you haven’t apologised for them being ill have you? Isn’t it a bit stale
mate? People and relationships can exist outside after the ‘worst thing someone has done’. It doesn’t sum her up it’s just one thing out years of friendship. And she isn’t disappearing if the two DH’s are friends. Don’t bother to feed them again though - once bitten twice shy.

At this point I am more annoyed at your hubby's lack of support.

Yeah this

But take the TV remote with you. And all the toilet paper in the house. Presumably she will bring her own.

I don’t get why the non-friend’s DH can’t just come and watch the game with the OP’s DH (I would expect DH to respect and support this option though, not undermine it and say he’ll let her in either way). If non-friend didn’t want to be home alone she could have a) not been a mean girl behind OP’s back, b) checked who she was texting c) apologised. It wouldn’t at all surprise me if she turned up no matter what anyone said. She sounds the type.

Remove the satalite/freeview thing... plug from tv, hide the remote, lol!

I can understand the husbands wanting to keep their friendship in tact. I think if my DP and a friends DP had a disagreement like this I’d not let it ruin my perfectly good friendship.

Having said that her audacity to not apologise and demand to still come round is infuriating.

I wouldn’t go out to avoid them. Why should you have to?

DP should have your back by going out with her husband and not forcing you to have someone you’re pissed off with in your home. It should be left up to you to make up - or not - in your own time.

Wow, the nerve!

Is it too late to order in some sugar free gummiebears? Fantastic reviews on Amazon - make sure they contain malitol and leave a BIG bowl out.

Even if you did make her ill with your cooking, did she enquire about your health at the time?

Its awkward, but I think I would check in on others who have eaten the same food if I was truely a friend and thought I had proper food poisoning.

She probably had gastroenteritis from not washing her hands properly.

So as hard as it is for some to believe, I would treat her with the contempt she deserves and fully take the piss.
And I wouldn't end my marriage but would give my DH a taste of humiliation.

Take the router as well.

I cannot believe your dh is putting you in this situation. He is absolutely unreasonable! It's your home!

I'd be tempted to buy yourself an air horn and let him know that if he wants to watch the footie in peace and air horn-free the mega-bitch had better not be invited into your home.

I actually think your problems here are bigger than an adult mean girl running her mouth, if your dh won't support you, they raises big questions about your relationship.

Not sure why they can’t ‘host’ if it’s just takeaway and tv. Then your husband could trot over there on his own leaving you with some peaceful quality time for yourself.

I wouldn’t want her over either. If it’s a takeaway, they could certainly host.

Perhaps suggest to your husband that you will be using household funds for a night away at a hotel so you can avoid the drama. Treat yourself to a takeaway and some binge watching or a good book.

Did you apologise for making her and her DH sick with your cooking? In your last thread it didn’t come across like you did. Maybe she’s not apologised because you didn’t.