To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake - Update

[Dinnertext]

Hi all, my previous thread closed before I had the chance to add any further post today. For those interested, my friend replied to my message where I said I was upset she hadn’t apologised.

She ignored that part, and basically demanded I re-invite her on Saturday because it’s too late for her to make any alternative plans and it’s unfair to expect her to spend the evening alone. She reiterated the takeaway ‘offer’ and said as far as she is concerned , my Husband has said she’s still more than welcome to attend.

DH has just repeated the same position in that he’s staying out of it and that he wouldn’t turn anyone away at the door. He has basically told me this evening to be the bigger person and draw a line under it and not risk ruining his and his friends evening.

Ugh, so no loyalty, spineless and tight. What a prince you have there OP.

Stay a few days at your mums then?

I would do exactly this, like I would be telling them all she’s not fucking coming in but if u feel u can’t do that then I would be off to a hotel for the weekend. Fuck the friend I don’t even know what the first post was about but u have serious husband
problems in that he doesn’t give a fk about u or ur feelings. He’s a selfish twat. Go away and give him something to seriously think about. And if u come home and the house is not
immaculate he would be out the door. Stop letting others walk over you.

That won’t go down well on here…

The point is she made a bitchy comment to a third party and inadvertently sent it to the op and refuses to apologise

she made no effort to contact the op the day after they had been ill to see if op and husband had also been ill. They hadn’t been and had eaten the same stuff so it’s doubtful it was the ops food

you have to then wonder what other bitchy comments she’s made as well

HTH

Exactly. Life is too short.

I understand that sometimes people don’t take a situation personally, but some do, and where does it end? How much more? The friend openly mocks OPs cooking? The friends DH joins in? OPs DH joins in? It’s ’only a bit of fun’ and OP ‘shouldn’t be a fun sponge’?

You have to draw the line somewhere in friendships and here seems a reasonable place for OP to draw it.

Host, HOST? He'll go to theirs with a takeaway instead of him coming to yours with takeaway! It wouldn't hurt him to say "mate I'll I'm to you". That's all!

It wouldn't hurt him to back you up a bit.

Honestly I’d be out when they arrive, and stay out. Permanently. Your dh is a knob for not backing you on this.

I'll come to you, oops.

Actually, life is really long once you’re the butt of jokes and find yourself with disloyal friends and some bloke who doesn’t really care about you. It feels bloody endless then.

Pretend to be really drunk

I'd wait for kick off and then ask her if she's fully over the shits yet.

Then I'd tell her in great detail about time I got the runs in Paris and basically had overdose on imodium to get the train home.

There's no shame in it, hic, we've all been there.

Ask her if she needs imodium. At least twice.
Serve up hard boiled eggs because they're very binding.

There's a toilet roll in the freezer if she needs it.

Ask her if she'd like a drink, lick a tea towel and wipe an invisible smudge of the glass.

I'm in camp 'they host'. She's being so rude. I'm not sure I'd respond, but I would tell your DH he's going there

I’d let them come and bring a takeaway.

But….I’d ask them to wash their hands as soon as they step through the door.

Then I’d show them into the kitchen where I would have artfully displayed antibacterial hand gel, and multiple packets of Rennie/pepto etc.

Booze would also be displayed with warning labels “caution - not purchased at Waitrose”.

Thanking them for the takeaway I’d ask where they got it from so you can double check the food hygiene rating to ensure everyone’s food safety security. Bonus point if you also check online reviews and read out loud any/all poor reviews with a sad face.

I’d then remind them they need to wash all the plates cutlery before plating their takeaway in case of any cross contamination before showing them to the lounge where I had covered the sofa in cling film for their sanitary protection.

During the match I’d be up and down like a yo-yo asking “is everyone alright?”, “no dicky tummies?) ideally making sure I took the opportunity to stand in front of the TV each time.

But then again I am in peri and my tolerance for dickheads is now non existent and I have found a perverse pleasure in petty revenge - so I would find the evening highly entertaining.

Does your husband often belittle you OP?

Tbh I really really don’t think you should have to have them over. Tell DH to go to theirs.

But if they did come over it would be very inconvenient to have a power cut….

Yes you definitely deserve an apology, unbelievably rude to be slagging your food off to someone else, be found out about it and then try to demand she comes to your home again.

She is absolutely awful and would not be welcome in my home, but I would be more upset about my husband not backing me. It might sound dramatic but I would not be able to look at him in the same way after. Especially after he said he wouldn't turn her away.

Bore off pal.

Just sleep over at your mum's

This, with gold bells on!

You aren't ruining anything, your DH is ruining the friendship by not trying smooth things over humself, which would involve suggeting to his mate and his mate's partner tjat an apology is in order.

At this point your DH is the problem - he should have your back. Tell him to rearrange, but you're not hosting.

So your husband is happy for you (and him) to be slagged off (how many times and to how many people?) and thinks it’s ok to then invite those people into your home?

Your ‘friend’ has a brass neck. Can she not see why you’re upset? It’s so weird.

true 😂

But let's not stop posters falling over themselves to come up with the most ridiculous and dramatic over-reactions and scenario. They wouldn't say a word in real life.

who made you the thread police? The poster was replying to my post as it happens, scroll down if it bothers you?

He's not on the fence. He's on the other side of it.