AIBU to raise this comment about DD’s sleepover with school?

[onyourbill]

Honestly don’t know if I am or not!

All very much kids stuff but 12 year “friend” of DD, who we have nothing but endless trouble with, has gone round telling people at school that my DH will sleep with the girls at DD’s upcoming birthday sleepover which obviously isn’t happening whatsoever. She obviously means in the same room, but I’m really not comfortable with her saying this whatsoever as she knows exactly what she’s saying. AIBU to speak with school or am I overthinking?

This kid has been relentless for months with my DD so I’m very aware that it doesn’t take much for her to completely naff we off…

She said "which obviously isn't happening at all",
It is awful what this kid is saying-has she been online/left with a phone watching inappropriate stuff? Some parents let their kids watch, and know about, all kinds of stuff.
No girl would have gone round saying things like that in the past.

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain

As far as I know she wasn’t sexually abused

A large proportion of children who are sexually abused do not make it known for many years. And it’s reasonable to assume there are plenty who never do make it known.

So “as far as I know” doesn’t cut it, I’m afraid.

there is f all chance that wee liar would be given a chance to stay over in my house.

think of the implosion to your lives when she says ‘x’s dad came in the room….’

that comment alone would end my career, dh’s too and even if proven to be a lie would destroy reputations!!

she can find out that actions have consequences!!!!!

I was actually going to suggest that as a safeguarding measure for your husband, because after that rumour, say if your husband walked into the bathroom and there was a child there who hadn't locked the door, your husband could very well be looked at suspiciously. In fact, I think that after this time maybe it will be time to stop doing sleepovers?

I find it strange that you don’t once mention how DH feels about this and what he thinks next steps should be. It is all about how you feel and what you should do

At an absolute minimum uninvited Lolita, she knows what she's doing. Ideally cancel the sleep over and for your husband's safety have him sleep elsewhere. Your daughter, sadly, needs to make better friend choices.

You really need to protect your family - don't invite this girl.

Report to school as the comments are happening in school.

Yes but this is me speaking now as an adult about when we were teenagers. We had little knowledge of sexual abuse and there was zero safeguarding. So as far as I know is correct in this term and in this case.

Really?! 🤦‍♀️

Don’t send your husband to a hotel. That is madness

Not how I read it. OP meant she’s telling everyone DH will be sleeping in the same room as them. Which would be a red flag.

Ah, I see where the confusion has come in. OP quoted ExtraOnions post rather than PrizedPickledPopcorns although that is the one she is replying to.
So daughter would be upset about changing party plans, not uninviting friend, who isn't actually invited.
Fwiw I agree, don't cancel and let the school know about what is going on here, don't get into any further discussion with the girls family.

ExtraOnions · Today 16:42
I certainly wouldn’t be inviting her to anything
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PrizedPickledPopcorn · Today 16:43
I’d be seriously considering whether to change the party plan. I’m not sure what to, though.
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Lmnop22 · Today 16:44
I would just not invite this girl and distance your DD. If it’s been going on for a while clearly it’s a campaign and not a one off and you need to think about yourself and your family
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onyourbill · Today 16:45
ExtraOnions · Today 16:42
I certainly wouldn’t be inviting her to anything
I just couldn’t do that to my DD. She’d be so upset. Half tempted for my husband to go and stay elsewhere for the night which is absolutely ridiculous he would have to do that!
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Yes, you could threaten to sue for slander. This kind of stuff can ruin lives.

Then can you clarify this response as it’s a bit confusing - suggests the girl has been invited:

ExtraOnions · Today 16:42
I certainly wouldn’t be inviting her to anything

I just couldn’t do that to my DD. She’d be so upset. Half tempted for my husband to go and stay elsewhere for the night which is absolutely ridiculous he would have to do that!

Sue a child?!

Bloody hell, parents who don't know what to do when their child is being obnoxious and posters who can't read. When did everyone get so bloody useless?!

You’re in the south east?

Her parents

Why do you ask?

Don't talk rubbish.

It IS bullying.

And if she's spreading these lies at school then it IS school business

Still very hot

This post is why people think the trouble maker is invited and you aren’t revoking the invite! This read like DD would be gutted if you revoked the invite of the trouble maker.

Are you suggesting that hot weather renders people unable to think or read?

Some people have no idea! Of course you should speak the the DSL at school and let them know what has been said. This would raise red flags for me, wondering what actually happens in the other child's home. There is nothing that you could take to SS but the school may have other things on record, which all added together with the latest comment, they might wish to pass on.