AIBU to raise this comment about DD’s sleepover with school?

[onyourbill]

Honestly don’t know if I am or not!

All very much kids stuff but 12 year “friend” of DD, who we have nothing but endless trouble with, has gone round telling people at school that my DH will sleep with the girls at DD’s upcoming birthday sleepover which obviously isn’t happening whatsoever. She obviously means in the same room, but I’m really not comfortable with her saying this whatsoever as she knows exactly what she’s saying. AIBU to speak with school or am I overthinking?

This kid has been relentless for months with my DD so I’m very aware that it doesn’t take much for her to completely naff we off…

It kind of did...to anyone but the hard of thinking she said the girl meant her husband was going to sleep in the same room as them, as opposed to "sleep with them" in the biblical sense.

Agree, 100%

Great outcome, 100% support banning her coming into your home. I agree to tell the school if you haven’t already.

I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this!

I work in a school and they 100% need to know now - it’s a safeguarding issue that needs sorting asap. Regardless of whether the rumour has been spread within school. There will be a lot of flags that they will want to investigate

Think they just meant that the little girl meant sleep in the same room, rather than sleep with, he wouldn't actually be in the same room at all.

I wouldn't classify a 12-year-old as a "little girl".

Not that ridiculous to be honest. If a little girl was saying something like this about my DH I would take those precautions. Many years ago when I was a teen a girl from a neighbouring school made accusations about her friends step dad at a sleepover, she finally admitted she made it up but it ruined his life. So many reasons I hate sleepovers & this is one of them.

Was this said in innocence about sleeping arrangements or was she implying something inappropriate? Both are very different scenarios. If she is implying something sexual then yes I agree you need to address this full on, I'd also be concerned about the child herself and why her mind is focusing this way.

A member of my family was victim of a rumour, I cannot stress enough how devastating it was to the individual and the knock on effect to the family. Please do everything in your power to stop this for DH sake.

Edit, just saw your update. Well done for handling it OP

This has nothing whatsoever to do with school. If you've had so much trouble with this one girl why is she even invited to the sleep over.

If I waa going to speak to anyone it would be the girls parents, but Personally I wouldn't bother. Girls constantly say stupid stuff. How many times are you going to speak to school/the parents.
Why dont you just say to the girl that incase there is any confusion you wanted to make it very clear that DH would not be sleeping anywhere near the girls!

She wasn’t invited to the sleepover. OP has made that clear. And it’s everything to do with the school because she’s making these allegations at the school. OP needs to make them aware of the situation and that there is no basis for the allegations, to protect her DH.

Banning her will stop her being able to spread any further rumours/allegations from this date forwards.....

How? The girl wasn't even invited and still made up the rumours...

That would be your husband's decision not yours, I can't imagine that he would do that, this is one of the problems that arise when young girls latch on to the attitude that's being created in society at the moment that all men are toxic unless they prove otherwise.
We need to stop pushing this rubbish down young people's throats ! 🫤

duh learn to read

The girl wasn’t invited to the party
And op has confirmed she doesn’t come over anyway

You cannot let this girl into your house - regardless of what your DD says!!!!

She is saying horrible things - worrying things - and it could result in something worse being said!!!

I would if possible have your dh out of the house overnight to totally kill any gossip.
The school will gave to log this allegation to (1) ascertain there is no truth/history of your dh behaving inappropriately at sleepovers in (2) the girl is not at risk herself from others. It us not unusual for a child being abused by someone close to her to raise the alarm by accusing soneobe less close to home.

That would be her husband's decision not hers, I can't imagine that he would do that, this is one of the problems that arise when young girls latch on to the attitude that's being created in society at the moment, that all men are toxic unless they prove otherwise.
We need to stop pushing this rubbish down young people's throats !

I thought the girl had been to stay over?
...and made up the rumours from there...
Have I got that wrong?

Yes.. you have.

The girl wasn't invited to the sleepover and it appears has just made up this rumour out of jealousy.

@onyourbill Bullying can take place inside and outside of school. I suspect it says this in your schools anti bullying policy. I’d read it - should be on line. I’d tell the school if rubbish like this is being spread by this DD within school and about a pupil of the school. It does concern pupils at the school.

If you don’t think the parents will take being spoken to well, ask the school to manage a meeting with all parties involved, including - at least for part of the meeting - the 2 girls.

Yes, you are being ridiculous.

Give your daughter the choice to cancel entirely or proceed without this friend.

I don't think you've really understood the consequences for you and your family if this rumour takes hold in your local community.

OP has said elsewhere that the girl couldn't possibly be uninvited:

onyourbill · 09/07/2026 16:45
I just couldn’t do that to my DD. She’d be so upset. Half tempted for my husband to go and stay elsewhere for the night which is absolutely ridiculous he would have to do that!
ExtraOnions · 09/07/2026 16:42
I certainly wouldn’t be inviting her to anything

‘Dear Parents,
Someone has been telling the sleepover invitees that my dh will be sleeping in the same room as them.
This is a wilfully trouble-making rumour so if you should happen to hear it, please just ignore.
Thank you.’