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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to raise this comment about DD’s sleepover with school?

261 replies

onyourbill · 09/07/2026 16:23

Honestly don’t know if I am or not!

All very much kids stuff but 12 year “friend” of DD, who we have nothing but endless trouble with, has gone round telling people at school that my DH will sleep with the girls at DD’s upcoming birthday sleepover which obviously isn’t happening whatsoever. She obviously means in the same room, but I’m really not comfortable with her saying this whatsoever as she knows exactly what she’s saying. AIBU to speak with school or am I overthinking?

This kid has been relentless for months with my DD so I’m very aware that it doesn’t take much for her to completely naff we off…

OP posts:
Nothankyoucat · 09/07/2026 16:25

Your DH probably shouldn’t be sleeping the same room as them 🤷🏼‍♀️

Original poster
onyourbill · 09/07/2026 16:26

He isn’t and never ever would! That’s the whole point!

OP posts:
Darragon · 09/07/2026 16:27

What do you want the school to do? Tell her parents if you must tell someone. And when they ignore you, stop inviting her to things. And don’t let your DH sleep in a room full of young girls. That’s opening yourselves up to all sorts of accusations. It sounds bad because it’s a bad idea.
But leave the school out of it. School doesn’t have time for this.

Darragon · 09/07/2026 16:27

onyourbill · 09/07/2026 16:26

He isn’t and never ever would! That’s the whole point!

That’s not what it sounded like in your OP.

thejelliclecats · 09/07/2026 16:27

It's nothing to do with the school.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/07/2026 16:28

YANBU, @onyourbill - not in the slightest. This is the sort of rumour that ruins lives.

Can you have a word with the girl’s parents, and tell them that she is spreading these nasty rumours, and they need to stop her telling such outright lies?

Didimum · 09/07/2026 16:30

If anyone, you need to speak to the parents if they hear rumours. Or you need to speak to this girl's parent. The school have nothing to do with it. It's something taking place outside of school and it's not bullying or disruptive to the school day.

Rhaidimiddim · 09/07/2026 16:30

This rumour needs to be quashed immediately.

How you go about doing it, I don't know. At the very least, tell the parents of the girls who are invited that the rumour is not true.

I don't know if the school would want to get involved, but if this is aspect of an ongoing campaign against your DD, they should.

Original poster
onyourbill · 09/07/2026 16:30

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/07/2026 16:28

YANBU, @onyourbill - not in the slightest. This is the sort of rumour that ruins lives.

Can you have a word with the girl’s parents, and tell them that she is spreading these nasty rumours, and they need to stop her telling such outright lies?

This is 100% exactly my thoughts. As it was said in school, the standard rule of thumb is for them to deal with it. We could speak with parents, quite what they would do is anyone’s guess, but we could. It’s bloody dangerous!!

OP posts:
namechangedforthis67 · 09/07/2026 16:32

Red flag for safeguarding for the child saying that. Do you know the family?

ThatGreenFawn · 09/07/2026 16:33

I am the designated safeguarding lead at my school and this is definitely something that I would want to know.

It would cause me to keep an extra eye on the child spreading the rumors. I would also want to.do some work on accusations with them.

It would also save me so much time as if these comments came to me via any of the children, I would need to follow policies and procedures to deal with it.

Everydayimhuffling · 09/07/2026 16:33

Yes, you should raise it with the school. It's a safeguarding concern that she's speaking about an adult like that if she's 12. It's also bullying behaviour.

Original poster
onyourbill · 09/07/2026 16:33

namechangedforthis67 · 09/07/2026 16:32

Red flag for safeguarding for the child saying that. Do you know the family?

To speak to in passing, but not well..

OP posts:
Original poster
onyourbill · 09/07/2026 16:34

ThatGreenFawn · 09/07/2026 16:33

I am the designated safeguarding lead at my school and this is definitely something that I would want to know.

It would cause me to keep an extra eye on the child spreading the rumors. I would also want to.do some work on accusations with them.

It would also save me so much time as if these comments came to me via any of the children, I would need to follow policies and procedures to deal with it.

This is really helpful, thank you! I think we’re going to raise it both with school and parents.

OP posts:
namechangedforthis67 · 09/07/2026 16:35

You need to report to the school. It’s a really weird thing for a 12 yo to be saying and a safeguarding report will be made.

namechangedforthis67 · 09/07/2026 16:37

Sorry x post with others

Weeellokthen · 09/07/2026 16:38

Wtf. I would 100% be having a chat with this wee delights parents.

oustedbymymate · 09/07/2026 16:39

I actually do think you need to mention it to the school. It a a serious allegation which is completely unfounded but this is the sort of stuff that gets out of hand quickly

Thechaseison71 · 09/07/2026 16:41

Darragon · 09/07/2026 16:27

That’s not what it sounded like in your OP.

Show quote history

Well it didn't sound like that to me . It sounded that's what the girl was saying not what was actually happening

ExtraOnions · 09/07/2026 16:42

I certainly wouldn’t be inviting her to anything

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 09/07/2026 16:43

I’d be seriously considering whether to change the party plan. I’m not sure what to, though.

Lmnop22 · 09/07/2026 16:44

I would just not invite this girl and distance your DD. If it’s been going on for a while clearly it’s a campaign and not a one off and you need to think about yourself and your family

Original poster
onyourbill · 09/07/2026 16:45

ExtraOnions · 09/07/2026 16:42

I certainly wouldn’t be inviting her to anything

I just couldn’t do that to my DD. She’d be so upset. Half tempted for my husband to go and stay elsewhere for the night which is absolutely ridiculous he would have to do that!

OP posts:
Wickedlittledancer · 09/07/2026 16:45

This is something off school time and property, so it is to tell the parents. I don’t understand why she’s invited though?

BeanThereDoneIt · 09/07/2026 16:46

As a former head of year, I would absolutely want to know about this. Firstly, it raises a safeguarding concern for the student spreading rumours - where’s she getting these ideas from? Secondly, it would allow me to be proactive in stopping the rumours being spread in school and allow me to keep an eye on how the target of the rumours was being treated by their peers.

Definitely get in touch.