To think this is the most awful thing to say to a parent

[Kate8889]

My mom has a husband she's been with for about 12 years, they're in their 60s.

He has a sister and their father recently died after a very difficult few years of Alzheimer's disease (he was physically combative on the daily).

This sister (in front of everyone) told her mom that if a person gets a diagnosis such as Alzheimer's it is the person's responsibility that they don't become a burden on their loved ones and they should end their life. I cannot imagine saying that to anyone but especially my parents.

It’s expensive, though. And a difficult thing to ask someone to do with you if you aren’t capable of travelling alone. There would be a much bigger uptake if you could do it closer to home.

I have no doubt at all that assisted dying would initially have robust safeguards, which would be watered down within a couple of decades. It's terrifying. One comment that you've had enough, off you go

Sadly, I fear it will be introduced. But to save the economy, not to help the sick and vulnerable

Tony Scott had a brain tumor (acc to Wikipedia). That may present differently to dementia.
There are around 1 million dementia sufferers in Uk (google) and around 8000 suicides yearly among the whole population
I do not believe that the dementia sufferers are freely conspiring to inflict themselves upon their carers instead of taking a way out, sorry.

I don’t want life extending treatment at all. So if I have a chest infection after a dementia diagnosis then no, I don’t want antibiotics
my Nan and my Mum both had dementia (Nan Alzheimer’s, mum early onset) and I don’t want to end up like that. Would rather go a year or two early

same as if I have a brain injury and am unable to speak/move

With you all the way @walkingmyway. 💐

And me. I will also be refusing the pneumonia vaccination when I qualify for it

I hear/respect what you're saying. I was curious whether you'd decline drugs like Memantine which can be effective in slowing cognitive decline, but logically I'd assume that counts as life-extending treatment too so I'm guessing not. From what I've seen of dementia in caring for my DM (and she's not even at the sharp end yet) I can totally see why people make this decision - I'm not honestly sure what I'd decide for myself.

I have a horrible feeling this exact scenario is waiting somewhere down the line. I read a dystopian fiction series on this topic recently which, although fiction, felt worryingly prescient and believable. I had the feeling the author had spent a lot of time thinking about how society might treat the vulnerable in the future, especially with economic pressures in the mix.

I heard of a similar case in the Netherlands. Normally, people opting for euthanasia have the opportunity to change their minds right up until the last minute. It makes me very feel very uncomfortable that in some countries, people with dementia don't have that right. Yes, they probably no longer have capacity, but it's not possible to predict at diagnosis exactly how their dementia will affect them.

As other posters have said, some sufferers are usually content and may even experience positive personality changes. Also, as the condition progresses, a sufferer may move from an angry/paranoid/anxious phase into a much calmer one. I have seen this myself.

No interest at all in them. My mum had drugs to help, they didn’t. She somehow knew to stop eating and drinking, developed a chest infection and went to hospital with sepsis
my dad hadn’t done POA etc despite me nagging but thankfully the hospital was sensible when we said no more antibiotics or treatment

I am frankly petrified about it as is my cousin due to the family history and we both have done the directive

I basically want to go out at the top and not start down the slope

So many people saying they will end things while they are still lucid, this is what my mum said she would do. By the time she was knew, she was no longer capable of following through with it. That is why suicide is extremely rare in dementia patients.

Funny how so many people are saying “here’s what my plan is” in the event of a dementia diagnosis and none of them are wondering why the many many people diagnosed every year (many of whom no doubt said similar things pre diagnosis) haven’t actually booked a cruise and thrown themselves overboard or taken an overdose or gone to Switzerland.

Sorry I didn’t read your comment before saying the very same immediately underneath. You’re so right. Why can’t people see that what they say now is very different from the post-diagnosis situation?!

That’s why so many of us are hyper vigilant of ourselves and have asked our families to tell us if they notice any suspicious signs. There’s also a huge difference between offing yourself and allowing nature to take its course by not treating other illnesses.

Ah yes, that reminds me of my Aunt who worked in a shop. She told her daughters she often saw "poor old forgetful ladies coming in" looking dishevelled, unkempt and instructed my cousins to tell her if they ever noticed that in her. When they did she went ballistic and didn't believe them. That's the lack of insight

That’s one person. They clearly left it too late to tell her.

I wonder what % of dementia patients would have died from other things 20,30,40 plus years ago? That seems to be the downside of modern medicine that we now survive things that would have killed us to then be struck down with this awful disease.
My relative didn't have dementia but was a frequent flyer at the hospital - the other patients were in a pitiful state, and I do question the morality of treating for pneumonia/cancer etc to go on living with dementia.

My cut off is where I can no longer live independently at home.

I am not a particularly sociable person but neither do I watch TV so a care home environment would be a living hell for me if I was mentally competent.

If I reach that stage and assisted dying is still not allowed then I'll be reaching into my own plant resources or stockpiling any prescription drugs that are suitable.

My mum is 89. Moderate to severe dementia. Not been treated for any infections or illnesses because she hasn't had any not because she has a directive. Only tablets she takes are painkillers for arthritis

I understand. It’s a difficult one. I recently worked with a researcher who is an expert on music for people living with dementia and she introduced me both to people who work with dementia patients and also a man who had young onset dementia. It was an eye opening experience for me and provided me with lots of insight to a world I hadn’t really thought much about before.

The main thing they all said was that the media depictions of people with dementia are always inherently negative. It’s always an elderly person who forgets everything constantly and has no idea which way is up. Dementia affects people of all ages and in different ways, plus obviously has different stages. They don’t all immediately start lashing out and forgetting where they are and it can taken many years to reach a stage like that. They can still have quality of life in the interim period before it progresses to that sort of level.

Anyway, I can understand her point in that I don’t think anyone really wishes to become a burden. It’s hard because they likely wouldn’t qualify for assisted death due to mental capacity.

My cut off is where I can no longer live independently at home.

That’s too late.

Paul Gambaccini doesn't seem to be ready to give up. He says he was diagnosed last year, still presenting his radio show.

I would try and find someone to overdose me on opiates. But I'm not sure if that's really painless or not. I think life is only worth living when you can actually acknowledge your existence and surroundings.

Who? They would face a murder charge.

Pre shipman doctors were more “helpful” in these grey areas but not now.

I think what one considers what is acceptable re quality of life changes a lot depending on what’s going on in your life.

Often things that one would consider awful, degrading, not worth living for dint look anywhere the same when you’re living through them.
That’s why people with ALS/MND who thought ‘when I reach xyz stage, then I’d rather die’ have a different view when they are at that stage of the illness.
I have an illness with a very poor quality of life. It’s not that that causes me the most issues. Money and lack of carers are.