Equal bill splitting annoyance

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Just after some balanced opinions.

Context is that 4 of us old work colleagues meet for dinner 2 or 3 times a year.

We always split the bill equally between us.

Last time we met last week it was noticeable that 2 of us including me ordered a drink at the bar when we arrived and then paid for it ourselves and then found our table and didn't drink any more.

Other 2 ordered all drinks at the table to go on the group tab and had 4 or 5 alcoholic drinks.

I had a main at 15 quid, others ordered mains all about 20 to 22 each, no issue there.

However the bill came to just over 160 plus tip and we all paid about 45 each, it really struck home that 2 of us are massively subsidising the others 2 alcohol !

Don't want to spoil the atmosphere but equally it's irritating !

No one skint , all working

What is a pleasant way to put a stop to this ?! Without being mean or penny pinching

The penny pinchers are always always the ones who have more than their fair share of alcohol and drink. CF in my experience.
I couldn't imagine sitting there drinking loads, while someone has sat there with a soda which they bought themselves and being happy about splitting the bill at the end. I'm generous enough to say 'no, you've not drank, let's work out what you owe'. These people will be more than aware they're taking the piss.
When I go out with my friends, we generally split as we all have roughly the same (we don't get calculators out!). Although if someone is driving or eaten significantly less, we'll do a quick tally in our heads.
Anything else is cheeky and mean spirited and just causes resentment if it keeps happening.

People who object to splitting a bill are the ones who order a fillet steak whilst everyone else has a salad.

It isn’t penny pinching not to want to subsidise others who take the piss.

I’m not a drinker, I will maybe have a glass of fizzy water or coke when I’m out for a meal. Why am I paying for a bottle of wine? I can’t eat more than one course, why am I paying for 3 course meals for others? Generally pay my own way and couldn’t care what people think.

What particularly bothers me is when we have work meals out. People always think it’s fine to split the bill, forgetting that the trainees on the table are on really shit wages. Why are they paying for the bosses dinner? I’ll always put my foot down on their behalf, and usually throw more in to the pot to cover part of their meals.

🤣🤣🤣

This sums up CF bill splitters perfectly. Gobble down as much as possible while you think that you can get someone else to pay for it. Cheeky Fuckers treat bill splitting like buy one get one free.

It's absolutely not fair to be the one subsidising the three course, 2 bottle of wine and several cocktail people. Any good friend will chip in extra to cover themselves if there's a big discrepancy.

I was at a work Christmas party meal once and everything was split evenly, 80 euro each. The girl beside me was pregnant, had one main course and a glass of water. She didn't want to say anything or make a fuss but I was so annoyed on her behalf.

It is a common frustration when spending habits differ in a group. Many find that suggesting separate tabs at the start of a meal is a polite way to ensure everyone pays for exactly what they consumed without creating friction.

cheeky CF friends!

I think it’s always good to clarify this when arranging the meet up so everybody knows beforehand or what the payment arrangements are and saved in awkwardness at the time.

A friend of mine who’s always been very generous recently said that she was saving to pay off something and with cost-of-living, wanted to pay for herself rather than split the bill, so we all did the same. Nice and easy - it just needs one person to start the conversation and take the lead.

This happened to me. Or was about to. And luckily a colleague had noticed I’d only had a main and no drinks and commented I should only pay for that. Thanks C!

I don't drink alcohol and am heartily fed up with going out for meals, drinking lime and soda at a pound or two a glass while others knock back cocktails and bottles of wine and then getting the "we'll just split this X ways shall we?". Mostly now I just go "absolutely not, we'll split the food but I'm not paying your drinks bills" but I am quite confident and that might not be something everyone can do.

I have another couple of tactics for handling this which might suit. One is to take cash and keep a running check in my head of what I have ordered then put my cash down as soon as the bill arrives. The other is to go to the bar to pay my share before anyone gets a chance to ask for the bill, claiming I need to leave early or something like that.

When the bill arrives (or soon after looking at it) say “is it ok if I pay for just mine? I paid for my one drink at the bar and my meal was £15”.

I’ve very rarely been at a meal where the bill has split very unfairly. Usually someone pipes up on behalf of others eg Sarah is veggie and pregnant, so her share needs to be significantly lower.

Ask the restaurant for separate bills at the beginning. Or go somewhere that offers an order at table option so everyone orders and pays for their own