Equal bill splitting annoyance

[Adfreefreezer]

Just after some balanced opinions.

Context is that 4 of us old work colleagues meet for dinner 2 or 3 times a year.

We always split the bill equally between us.

Last time we met last week it was noticeable that 2 of us including me ordered a drink at the bar when we arrived and then paid for it ourselves and then found our table and didn't drink any more.

Other 2 ordered all drinks at the table to go on the group tab and had 4 or 5 alcoholic drinks.

I had a main at 15 quid, others ordered mains all about 20 to 22 each, no issue there.

However the bill came to just over 160 plus tip and we all paid about 45 each, it really struck home that 2 of us are massively subsidising the others 2 alcohol !

Don't want to spoil the atmosphere but equally it's irritating !

No one skint , all working

What is a pleasant way to put a stop to this ?! Without being mean or penny pinching

I am always happy to pay an equal share of the bill but if you don’t want to then say something at the start of the evening

No need to be rude just because people have different priorities to you - we are usually too busy chatting and laughing to work out the exact cost of our individual meals so we just do it roughly dependent on alcohol.

I think my problem in our group is that the biggest fans of the bill splitting, like the whole cool, casualness of it but they are the same people who do the bitching about what people chose from the menu.
I'd rather order what I like and pay for it - I'm not worried about spending an extra £10 on something I like, or paying more because someone chose a pudding and I certainly do not order strategically so someone subsidizes my dinner and drinks. I'm in the stop the bitching, I couldn't give a rats arse which way we split the bit but just shut up about it because it's putting me off my food!

You can ask them to separate the alcoholic drinks onto a separate bill and they can present that to the drinkers and then you split the food bill.4 ways. Request it at the start so the staff know.

It's funny to me that some people can't grasp the idea of being generous to your friends, the people who you are supposed to like and care for.

We did get caught out once at a Christmas meal, most of us just said ‘split it 10 ways, one member objected and wanted to add up her own, she said ‘ this is a bit high’ - to which we replied, ‘it’s fine, work yours out and we will split by 9’ and carried on drinking.

then she pointed out that 5 desserts from another table had been added to our bill 😆

Ask the waitress for two bills one for food and one for drink. Then explain you and xx have bought your drink at the bar so the food bill can be split 4 ways and the drinks bill between the other two

I always check the bill - we've been overcharged quite a few times.

The ones drinking their heads off and expecting to not pay for a great chunk of it are the penny pinchers. The poor saps left footing the bill are the ones who need to speak up - you’ll soon know if they’re real friends.

A quick, ‘I’m going to pay for my own food and drinks tonight’ is enough. It might be awkward the first time but it’ll be fine after that.

Thanks for opinions
Food bill was about 80 and drinks bill just over 80 from memory
Drinks bill was completely for just 2 of the 4 who were or seemed to be drinking as quickly as they could !
Its always like this but I'm being more careful at the moment with money so questioned it to myself!

I suggest you were the CF- If you declare at the beginning you want to split the bill no problem. Waiting till the end to calculate which way would be cheapest for you is CF territory.

Just tell them that you are watching your budget and that you are going to pay for what you have had

Just say, "lets all just pay for what we eat drink"

I absolutely don't agree. Why should some pay double what they need to because others have had a good piss up. Whenever I've been out with friends, if I've enjoyed a few drinks and there's a non drinker I always suggest that the non drinker pays less!

Its just good manners

Yeah, people who order loads of extra drinks and then don’t offer to pay for them are cheeky fuckers. Bill splitting only works when you’ve all had similar. Paying a bit extra is not an issue, but paying more than double what you had is.

I have always paid more than my share, as we split evenly when we dine out and I have less kids, all eating adult sized meals.

One time…one single time….that the bill was in my/our favour, one of my friends wanted to pay for what they had (she wasn’t drinking) and it was adults only.

The way we split historically has cost us literally thousands (we split down the middle on holidays etc despite there being far fewer of us etc) and we have always been more than happy with this. I was absolutely hopping mad and haven’t eaten out with them since - and won’t! On principle.

Your friends are ripping the piss.

It's tough having to be careful with money.
One of our group said she was being careful with money - she suggested we all take turns hosting - guess she figured out a way of saving money as she never did host! 🙄

I had similar issues in a friendship group I am in. A friend I’ll call Alice, became unemployed and so the other three in the group would chip in to cover her share of a meal and drinks out. I didn’t mind to start with as it seemed a kind thing to do. But she drinks more than anyone else and often ordered one of the more pricey things on the menu. I’m not saying she should go for the cheapest as she’s not paying but it became consistent. Anyhow, about a year ago four of us went out for a meal, she ordered a second bottle of wine and said I’ll pay for it as I want it. When we got the bill and it was brought up that she had ordered the second bottle of wine she had a hissy fit and talked of splitting the bill! It became a real drama and she ended up paying the whole bill (in a strop) and telling us all where to go! We did get apologies afterwards but has taken a long time to repair the friendship which will never be the same again. Now very to only go to places where we pre-order and pay up front so we can pay for ourselves!

OP, why on earth did you let that go.
Of course they knew, but didn't care.

Very foolish to let that go.
£30 is a substantial amount to pay.extra.

So you set up a tab at the bar- IS it okay if I put the drinks on a tab, we have a booking for 7.30? Then everyone's drinks/foods get split. I do think though that unless someone has had something way out of line, you do then just split the bill by the number of people attending?

Do you find restaurants do this much? A lot of the ones I've been to say no separate bills for tables. Agree it's really annoying. If someone wants starters, the most expensive main, several sides, desserts etc that's fine, but it's usually the person who earns the most who then tells you it's not etiquette to each pay roughly the amount you spent! Ok, but for the people in the group who do have to budget, it's good etiquette for them to subsidise you?

Well, that's approaching the issue in exactly the right way - from the point of view of generosity.

We can all choose to do that, or we can choose the opposite.

Why?

YANBU I’m all in favour of splitting the bill for ease, as long as everyone had roughly the same. I definitely wouldn’t quibble over a few quid, but it sounds like your friends are taking the piss.