AIBU to feel unsafe about a five-hour drive after his early shifts?

[Silverseahorse]

So...
We have to stay overnight somewhere tonight
It means driving 5 hours at dinner time
My DH drives ..I don't
We had a lot to organise to sort this out ,as family life is difficult.
So it's just suddenly occurred to me
My DH has been up since 4am every day this week for work and falling asleep by 7pm every evening
Today is no different..today is the last day on this shift ,he is off tomorrow,when we have to drive back ..
Now I'm sitting here , thinking shit ..yet again I'm going to be driven somewhere scared again.
Why didn't he say ..".I'm working from 4am that day ..I can't do the drive that evening,we need another plan.."
But this was his plan ....my plan was to drive up half way through the night so he could sleep first ...
Would your DH be able to drive for 4/5 hours in an evening after doing a week of 4am early starts .. including the day of the drive ,??
I've lost sight of what's normal
There's been so many times he's driven me scared..that I don't know what's normal and what's not .
Should I of looked at his shifts and said ..that won't work...
Usually I do ...but this event has caused me so much stress to organise at home (the people we leave at home )..that i didn't think to check his shift today ..
I really feel I'm reaching the end of the road with my marriage..and I'm terrified of what that means

I can’t explain it, I freeze and feel like the constant taking over and trying to move into different lanes as well as the high speed really overwhelming. I can drive anywhere but am in a state of anxiety on a motorway

Perhaps do some advanced driving lessons to get used to going on a motorway. that way you can drive when he’s tiered

Sounds like you are scared of your husband rather than just scared of his driving?

People can get into accidents after having a full 10 hours sleep and others can drive perfectly after 2 hours sleep. Why do you not trust that your partner is the best judge of his driving ability? Does he abuse substances?

In this case I’d have driven him.

YOU need to work on YOUR anxiety @Silverseahorse

its not fair to just opt out of all driving. You’re an adult, a wife and parent, step up and take responsibility for your ability to drive yourself to and from places

my own Dh Developed anxiety over driving. He had hypnosis to treat it and it’s transformed him.

you don’t have to over take anything

just get into the nearside lane and stick to 60mph. Take your time and you will get there

hypnosis is also a game changer - and very quick too!

If you never try and just give in, your anxiety wins and your life shrinks

PUSH BACK on the fear. Fight it and you will win

will it be uncomfortable? Absolutely, yes.

will it get easier the more you do it? 100%

Glad it worked out OK.

My dh would be fine doing that.

I wouldn't be so confident about doing it myself...depending on how tired I was.

I do it but still find it stressful, it’s the speed of cars, the different lanes, people not allowing you in and people driving up the back of you on outside lane. I’ll never be comfortable or not anxious at the age of 45 driving on motorways,