To call it a day with DP as his "ex" wife books yet ANOTHER holiday on one of her custody weekends and he just sucks it up.

[mondaycando1]

They have 50/50 custody, she has half the year to book holidays and yet in the 3 years we've been together, she must have booked half a dozen holidays that mean he's needed to have the kids on her time. He NEVER says no for fear of upsetting her.

Their divorce has dragged on for most of those 3 years (they've been separated 6+ years, she had an affair, still with the bloke as far as he knows) as he deferred to most of her demands and didn't fight them for fear of upsetting her.

He was really ill last month which meant we had to cancel the long awaited 5 day break we had booked (I also have 50/50 custody, same pattern, so 5 days is the most we can get away together, other stuff often gets in the way so this only happens a couple of times a year).

Just this morning, to celebrate him finally being able to push the button on the divorce final order today, we fathom out another weekend in 3 months time we can get away together. What happens this afternoon- she tells him she's booked a holiday that very same weekend we had free and could he have the DC? I totally swear she's done it out if spite because of the final order. Of course, so he doesn't upset her, he's agreed.

Fuming here.

Yes I would leave this relationship. I had the same thing . Was infuriating.

He should message and say sorry no I forgot we have plans and I can’t have them. Very annoying.

This is incredibly immature and short sighted.

He is a parent. Whilst it might not be “fair”, him picking up his ex-wife’s slack is what is best for their children.

The fact that it isn’t fair doesn’t change that.

You could say to DP that you would like to message Ex Wife to tell her you've booked a holiday... She could organise childcare or rearrange.

So you only actually have to put in the work of parenting for 183 days a year and you think you're terribly hard done by for having to add a few more?

You realise most people have to look after their kids every day for 18+ years continuously and maybe get a weekend off twice a decade if they're lucky?

OP, apologies if this has been suggested before (I’ve only read your posts) but would using a co-parenting app help? The usual times can be entered into the calendar and if there are any non-negotiable dates they can be marked as such. Give and take is good for everyone but if the communications are done via the app the piss taking is there for all to see. If the ‘children’ are teens they can have access and can see the piss taking too…..

The main consolation is that, as teens, the light at the end of the tunnel is almost within reach.

That’s a bit nasty. I don’t think he’s necessarily weak. Who wants their own kids to feel unwanted . If you have a relationship with someone with kids you can’t always expect to come first.
Try to get in first in future and have firm plans well in advance.

Also the poor children in the middle will understand when they’re older (if not now) that their Dad tried to see them whenever he could. My parents each put their new partner first and it completely battered our feelings of esteem and self worth. If you can’t understand that you may be happier with a man with no baggage.

I’m a single parent and always said I wouldn’t date a single father for this said reason. May be hypocritical, but I’ll happily remain single.

I did let my guard down once and started a relationship with one. Same situation. As soon as XW caught wind we were going on a weekend away together (looking back I think I was a rebound so he probably told her), she booked a holiday so he had to have their dc. CF X was trying to waggle out of giving me my money back I’d paid for the trip but I damn well made sure I got it back.

Ended things immediatley after that. Surprise surprise, they got back together but he still tries to message me despite having blocked him on 2 numbers and all social media.

I have enough to deal with and won’t factor in a bitter XW or wet wipe partner.

Or that she will hold him to ransom.