To have made remarks about my friend’s dress

[ladieswholunch23]

Hi all. So, one of my friends is going to a wedding and she’s bought a dress which is…peculiar to say the least. So our group chat (roughly around 8 of us) we - obviously as to not hurt her feelings - we said we liked it as it had already been purchased.

However on our other group chat that she’s not on, we all gave our true thoughts that the dress is hideous and, at the very least, is not suitable for a wedding. Somehow my friend found out about this other group chat and the things we had been saying. Whilst obviously it wasn’t the intention to hurt her, she’s now saying we betrayed her and it has now caused a rift in the friend group. I love to death but she can be a real pain sometimes. AIBU?

Nah I'm not buying this.

That dress is so freaking cute. If I was a size 10, I'd wear it.

I don’t understand friendship groups that can’t be honest with one another.
I bought 4 dress options for a wedding and paraded them in front of two good friends. I was pretty convinced by them all! The responses were
’god no’
’far too frumpy’
’unflattering’
’inappropriate’
The lot went back and I started again and found something perfect (and got loads of compliments on the day)

I was in no way angry or upset. I bloody would have been if they both sat there and cooed and murmured positive noises while I looked like a sack of potatoes or Cindy Laupers Nan.

id be furious if I found out they were slagging me off behind my back after that

Just give feedback.

Who betrayed the group OP? You have a snake in your midst. A snake in the midst of - well, a load of other snakes really. That was proper nasty of you all, your poor friend.

Maybe the dress looks great on her and you're all jealous. It seems your whole friendship group act about 35 years younger than you are.

A true friend would’ve been honest about their views on the dress when she asked for opinions.

even if you didn’t have the balls to do that, you shouldn’t have started slagging it off behind her back

I’d be really really hurt if my friends did that to me and would question what else they go away and discuss about me behind my back. I’d be mortified and wouldn’t be able to continue the friendship as I’d be constantly wondering if they were talking about me again

@ladieswholunch23can you share what you actually said when slagging off the dress behind her back?

if my friend had sent me that I’d just have said something like “cute dress, maybe a bit short for a wedding” - why can’t you be honest with her?

Great dress and ideal for a wedding. Your friend has an eye for style, is aware of current trends and is comfortable in her own skin. That may make you feel insecure but you didn’t need to run off and have your little bitch fest about it. You’ve made yourselves look so pathetic.

It depends, it doesn’t sound like you laughed, just commented on it. Most people have situations where they talk about someone because they’re worried about them being made a fool of for example. I don’t know how ye will make up though

With (so called) friends like you, who needs enemies? You should all be ashamed of yourselves!

Still no excuse!, you’re getting a hard time because that’s exactly what you deserve!

Let’s be honest, you nasty bunch are not really her friends are you? Every post you write digs you deeper into the s* face the truth, you’re a nasty piece of work that lies and behaves disgusting towards your friends behind their backs. I’ll bet they are all doing the same to you! Serves you right.

I quite like the dress. Not on me but for someone short (so the dress looks a bit longer than it does on the model) and thin it could look very cute, even for a wedding.

What's wrong with the dress? I actually love it, I'm in my 40's, I'd happily wear that. Maybe this poor girl you have a separate group chat from is gona look stunning in this dress and you and your bitchy friends couldn't pull it off in your life time and your all jealous. Your behaviour towards her is NOT a friend.

From one nest of vipers to another into your friendship group I think.

poor woman, horrible of you all to do this behind her back.

So many threads on here have me replying, then later, doubting the veracity.

I agree that MN is a nest of vipers, but it sounds like her friendship group is too. I'd want a friend to be honest with me, not have a group chat about it behind my back. That's not a friend.

It’s probably one of the people who work for that company promoting the dress

It’s her wedding. She can wear what she wants. She’s old enough to know her own mind.

Sure, it’s unconventional…. 🤷‍♀️

Vile behaviour from all of you

Exactly right.

Typical bitchy women, all talking about another woman behind her back.
As long as she likes the dress, your thoughts aren't important.
What a waste of time talking about her like that. Must do better.

That's a really horrible dress but you are really horrible bitchy people. I would never talk to any of you again.

This is why I don't get on with women much, the bitching behind peoples' backs. Having a separate WhatsApp group that she's not a part of is bad too. I don't get why it's hard to just tell people things to their face, but even so she can wear what she feels comfortable in.

Apologies if I have missed it in the thread

*ladieswholunch23 *could you PLEASE send us of photos of the dresses you and your friends intend to wear at that wedding and weddings in general? We need a laugh.

Bridget Jones's mother dressed as a curtain comes to mind, but I might be wrong, so please enlighten us