To have made remarks about my friend’s dress

[ladieswholunch23]

Hi all. So, one of my friends is going to a wedding and she’s bought a dress which is…peculiar to say the least. So our group chat (roughly around 8 of us) we - obviously as to not hurt her feelings - we said we liked it as it had already been purchased.

However on our other group chat that she’s not on, we all gave our true thoughts that the dress is hideous and, at the very least, is not suitable for a wedding. Somehow my friend found out about this other group chat and the things we had been saying. Whilst obviously it wasn’t the intention to hurt her, she’s now saying we betrayed her and it has now caused a rift in the friend group. I love to death but she can be a real pain sometimes. AIBU?

This is a bait post....right? No one is that crappy a friend as an adult surely?! How awful.

Exactly. What b!tches.

Why on earth would you all have this second group without her?

I mean it’s clear you don’t like her, but if the rest of the group feel the same, why have her in the friendship group at all? If you do like her, why have a separate bitching group?

Who needs enemies with friends like you eh? For future reference "that one isn't my favourite (even though you'd look amazing as always) but choose what you feel most comfortable in" also for future reference "hey guys, im not comfortable people saying negative comments about our friend in this group, I really love her so id rather not see these please"

Thank you for this, you saintly commenter. I'm sure you've never commented on anyone's appearance in your life. Presumably you and your friends only discuss the weather. Oops. Have I just offended the weather?

People will talk if you're in your late forties wearing a dress aimed at teenagers. That's just how humans work.

Unless, of course, it's you. You're clearly above such petty mortal behaviour.

No, that's just how arseholes work. Nice people don't slag off their friends appearance, just because they have different taste in clothes.

I’m not sure you have friends, @Balloonhearts . It sounds as though you have some polite acquaintances who don’t feel safe enough to speak freely around you.

i don’t think i’m in the minority of people when I say I don’t slag off my friends behind their back because of what they choose to wear. I’m in my 40’s - maybe that’s why? Or sure, I’m a saint

Ok so it’s back fired epically but you know sometimes it’s best to let people go with their own choices; I agreed for a woman in her 40s it’s hideous but when she looks at the photos after she’s going to be sat there thinking shit I look red hot or what the fuck was I thinking I look like Barbies grandmother on ketamin either way all you can do is eat some humble pie, apologise & next time she asks dodge the bullet & say you know what suits you best you choose I’m useless at picking outfits for other people x

Why is there another friend group chat that she’s excluded from..? Who needs enemies with “friends” like yous.

I'm upset on behalf of this lady. I hope she stuns at the wedding and finds nicer friends, I'm sorry to say!

Er I would have said ...."Friend I love you and don't want to upset you but it just doesn't seem the type of thing that'll suit you. I am trying to be honest and not hurt your feelings ."
I wouldn't have bitched behind her back no matter how shit the dress was. That's not friendship. I wouldn't ever trust any of you again.

It might be a shit choice in your eyes , and others but some people may think your tastes in fashion are s* but don't go out of their way to talk aniut it by setting up whole WhatsApp groups in which they bitch about it do they ?
Being blunt because well , thats life isn't it according to you ?

I think I’d rather have an ugly dress than ugly ‘friends’.

You where arseholes. Sorry she will be feeling humiliated and deserves a huge apology although I'm not surenid acceptn

Posting the dress pic in the hopes of salvaging your ugly behaviour is pretty poor. You were a shitty friend and got found out, she’s every right to be upset, you don’t seem to get that though?

You’re just making yourself come across worse now. Your first post or two on this thread were making you seem a bit bad, but this is showing you’re a bit nasty and determined to get our reassurance that you’re right. “Travesty”?! It’s a fun dress and, at the end of the day, people can wear what the hell they like without your approval.
What’s your beef with her dress?!
Just because you’d feel uncomfortable wearing it in your 40s, doesn’t mean she has to.
I hope she wears it and feels glorious in it, while you bunch of overgrown high school bullies look sour faced in the corner in your block colour midaxi dresses.
My jaw hit the floor when you said you were in your late 40s.

Hopefully a troll. Nobody would be that spiteful to a friend in real life, in their 40s I don’t believe.

This has got to be one of the nastiest threads I have read on mumsnet.

It's worrying that the OP doesn't think she has done anything wrong. I suspect that she was a bully at school as well.

You have a group chat without her in?? I think thats mean and harsh. You have been underhand and rude. Tact is not your groups strong point then.

I think you and your friends have been incredibly cruel and should be ashamed . A real friend would have found a way to tell her in a kind way maybe not the dress for a wedding . But tbh if she likes it then respect that

Imagine having the audacity to finish that post with "she's a bit of a pain", when she's upset that you've all been a bunch of cunts behind her back. I'd never speak to any of you again. You stated that youre all in your 40s, if thats the case then at least one of you could have behaved like an adult instead of lying to her and then shit talking her in your secret group.

Well you should give all just said it’s not suitable and put up with the fallout.

You have a second group chat she’s not on, and you’ve used it to bitch about her.

You and your other friends are nasty, two-faced vipers.

You cannot “love someone to death” and treat them like this. So you are not even sincere under anonymity.

I read some of your answers and they still do not do you justice. I would seriously hate to be friends with people that did not feel comfortable enough around me to stop me making a complete fool of myself let alone cause an issue with a wedding outfit.That is the one of the lowest bars possible.

No matter how out there your friend is, you have seriously all let her down and are, in no way, true friends.

You are all cruel, the school yard bullies with your Whatsapp condescending Group on how to deal with her and, most of all so beneath your friend that disgust on my part is the best I can do.

Take a good look at yourselves.

So your all in your late 40’s but you and your other friends chose to act like kids and bitch about her and her choice of dress in a separate group chat not really sure that is the behaviour of grown up women in their 40’s that’s the behaviour of immature bullies. If your friend likes the dress and is happy and comfortable with her choice that’s all that matters what you think of it and what you wouldn’t wear to a wedding doesn’t matter because it’s not you who is wearing the dress. This isn’t mean girls stop being a bitch.