Wedding make up too early - bridesmaid dilemma

[saminamama]

Being bridesmaid for a dear friend of 12 years

of 6 bridesmaids 2 of us are staying in the hotel.
it is the first night with my DH away from both children during a really stressful phase in our life financially (youngest is 10 months old) and so booked the hotel of the wedding (I paid for this)

when I agreed to have makeup done (me to pay for this - £60) I didn’t realise I would be put on the very first slot - 7am. The maid of honor is in hair at this time because she also booked the hotel, but some of the other bridesmaids aren’t getting anything done until 9 or even 10am!

i have asked the bride to cancel but she has said no it’s too late I still need to pay,

so I’m still going to have to pay

so because I have booked ‘the hotel’ I have ended up pulling the short straw if I was in the premier inn up the road it would have been fine

aibu - get the makeup done and crack on at 7am
yanbu - pay and don’t get the makeup done value sleep instead

Sounds like you’d be better off staying at home then ☺️

I don't understand the issue? 7am is not super early when your a bridesmaid, did you expect to be done just before leaving? YABU

I assume your children are young? If so, I’d definitely cancel the make up artist. I’d rather have been £60 down and wake up at my leisure than set an alarm for earlier than a working day in this scenario (different now my children are older)

On a side note, who doesn’t pay for their bridesmaids’ makeup?! Your ‘dear friend’ seems quite tight.

All this fuss and bother over one day! This is not a production effort for the witnesses/onlookers. What the hell is everyone thinking? It is a Wedding, a formal contract for health, wealth and a secure home for children. That Is It.

Ir's nice to have a party afterwards, but why all the pre-production fuss? If the couple want a Church ceremony that's lovely. A Registry Office contract, that is also great. Does it really matter if all the family, close friends etc have perfect make-up, hair done to the nth-degree?

How long does the make-up last, how do the bridesmaids feel about their hair, do the Mothers/Witnesses/Best Man/Bridesmaids use their outfits again?

Thousands of pounds of expense that most (if not all) cannot really afford. So much fuss and nonsense that, a lot of the time, will end in divorce/separation etc. It's mostly just for one day that is a dream/nightmare.

If the couple really love and want to be together forever none of the gi-gaws/add ons really matter.

Personally I think it’s totally unreasonable to impose a 7am makeup slot on somebody without checking. There’s no reason why you can’t book two makeup artists and have makeup done simultaneously. Equally, lots of people (me included) would rather do their own makeup than have a 7am makeup slot.

It’s not just that the makeup is at an early time - it’s that it potentially messes up everything else. Personally I would want to get up, wash my hair and have some breakfast before makeup being done. Does the bride really think that a 6am start is reasonable (no doubt while expecting her bridesmaids to be last on the dancefloor in the early hours of the next morning).

Seven am isn't early to be up and getting your makeup done?? What? Of course it is! OP will presumably have to be showered as well by that point, otherwise the makeup will come off.

OP, since you have to pay for it, I would drag yourself out of bed at 6.55 and have it done. Then I'd go back to bed. If the makeup was still in place after more sleep and a shower, I'd just touch it up. If not, I'd take it all off and then do my own makeup. But have the makeup done that you're paying for. You might get some tips.

A seven am makeup call is outrageously early.

I get why your miffed at missing the opportunity of a lovely lie in, are you not staying the night of the wedding? The likely hood is you’ll be awake at 6 anyways!

7am really isn’t that early to start, it will be 8am before your finished and then your hair to do etc… it’s surprising how quick a wedding morning goes! Your make up will still be in place the day after never mind that night!

Edited to say if you’re having your hair up it will need to be washed the night before.

Just try to go with the flow- don’t make a big deal out of this- you’ll feel fab and have a great day

Exactly.

Suck it up, honestly. This is common with a large bridal party.

£60 to have someone make me look like a clown? And get out of bed that early to do it? No thanks.

Can you do your own make-up, OP? Maybe practice a few different looks before the big day to find one you like.

I had this once (was actually slightly earlier) as was a lunch time wedding. I went and had a nap at about 9am, propped myself up with pillows so I couldn’t roll anywhere, and the makeup artist checked everyone again just before we started

Rookie mistake, I’ve always had a rule of thumb when being a bridesmaid/MoH, if the bride pays I shut up & put up and accept the crap times aka first/last, if the bride asks that I pay for make-up/hair/nails myself I agree but it always comes with a “that’s fine, happy to help, but if I’m paying could you ask that [insert service] is mid to late morning”

At my sisters wedding (1pm) we all rocked up at 8 to the "getting ready room" and the venue staff remarked that we were quite late! And yes, all the hair and makeup took us right to the wire.
That's how it is.
YABU.

Suck it up buttercup, it’s your friends wedding. You should smile, nod and make her life easier. I was the first for make up in my best friend’s wedding in too - also at 7am. I didn’t complain once because the day was not about me and SOMEONE has to go first.

it‘s 7am not 3am! Good grief most people get up before that anyway surely.m?! I know I do! Get on with it!

I think people are being a bit harsh. You have a 10 month old and are probably knackered and at breaking point. I think it’s is natural to feel disappointed that you won’t get any extra sleep even after paying for a hotel. But once you have got used to the idea the best thing to do is just crack on. Brides do tend to be a bit self absorbed hence the coining of the term bridezilla. It’s a natural coming of age moment. Maybe she will look back and realise she could have been more accommodating but it’s also true that someone has to go first and there will have been a lot of decisions to juggle. Try and have a good time and I hope life gets a bit easier soon.

Whilst 7am is early this is very normal for wedding hair and makeup and someone has to go first. And you have no travel time.

It’s one day for a close friend, so I would suck it up. But I’ll let you know in advance that you’ll probably be the one on the breakfast/coffee run as you’ll be ready first.

Simular mine waa 2:30 up about 9 full breakfast long bath before hair and make up arrived bliss

Yes, I don’t think there’s anything to suggest that she was forced either, which would be quite extreme! Looking again at her post, it says she ‘agreed’ to have it done. I suppose it depends on how much the bride wanted it, whether or not there was any pressure or expectation. It doesn’t, for example, say that she ‘wanted’ or ‘asked’ to have it done, so if we were making an educated guess we might think that it was possibly the bride’s preference that she did. We can’t know for sure though and it was just really a passing comment I was making.

The main point was about the 7am thing though. I would certainly have let my friends know that make-up would start as early as 7am, and that if they were paying to have it done, they might end up with that slot. Apart from wanting more of a lie in, I imagine it would be quite limiting for the few hours before the wedding to have a full face of makeup-up - not really possible to do anything too active, for example.

@saminamama To be honest, there is too much info missing to be able to offer an honest opinion.

What time is the wedding? Is the issue that you do not want to get up early or that you feel the make-up will not last, to look its best for the wedding as its too long before?

I have to say that if its simply because you don't want to get up early, its tough but its her day and you just need to crack on with it.

Some one has to go first. Her wedding is not about you. Get over yourself.

Someone might have already said this, but no, make-up is ideally done before hair (although it's not always strict if there's lots of people to get through).

Hair is kept well off the face, often using a wide elasticated headband, to make it easier to apply foundation (or minerals or whatever they use nowadays). Some hairstyles would get spoilt by it.

But what time is the wedding? It’s going to want to be re-done by lunchtime!!! I’d be annoyed
tell her you’ve changed to the travelodge as it was too expensive and that you need a later slot or scrap the idea and do your own!!

Make sure you include breakfast slots in your rota!

It's quite clear that OP is not in charge of any rota.