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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding make up too early - bridesmaid dilemma

181 replies

saminamama · 04/07/2026 06:24

Being bridesmaid for a dear friend of 12 years

of 6 bridesmaids 2 of us are staying in the hotel.
it is the first night with my DH away from both children during a really stressful phase in our life financially (youngest is 10 months old) and so booked the hotel of the wedding (I paid for this)

when I agreed to have makeup done (me to pay for this - £60) I didn’t realise I would be put on the very first slot - 7am. The maid of honor is in hair at this time because she also booked the hotel, but some of the other bridesmaids aren’t getting anything done until 9 or even 10am!

i have asked the bride to cancel but she has said no it’s too late I still need to pay,

so I’m still going to have to pay

so because I have booked ‘the hotel’ I have ended up pulling the short straw if I was in the premier inn up the road it would have been fine

aibu - get the makeup done and crack on at 7am
yanbu - pay and don’t get the makeup done value sleep instead

OP posts:
lebin · 04/07/2026 19:40

I’ve been a bridesmaid three times and unfortunately someone always has to do the 7am make up slot.

watchingthishtread · 04/07/2026 19:44

This isn't the occasion for you to have a lovely hotel break and a lie in. You have a job to do. Someone has to do the early slot and it just so happens that it's you.

That said, I don't think you should be paying for your own makeup.

UnintentionalArcher · 04/07/2026 19:45

Honeyhonayboo · 04/07/2026 06:41

Well someone needs to be first and you’re not the only one.
You’re making a bit of an unnecessary drama over this, your night away from your kids is irrelevant. It’s one day, what’s wrong with just sucking it up for your friend?

My reading of it was that they are paying for an expensive night away at a financially stressful time and given this, and the fact it’s their first night away from their two children, she was hoping to make the most of it by not being up for a 7am make-up slot. It wasn’t completely clear though.

It must be a large bridal party/complicated make-up to need such an early start I suppose.

FreyaW · 04/07/2026 19:48

Someone has to go first, it makes sense that it's whomever is on hand, ie at the hotel.
It's not like it just takes a minute to do...it's wedding make up..
Just accept the situation and go with it now. Have a lovely time.

Wingwalk · 04/07/2026 19:49

HaveYouFedTheFish · 04/07/2026 10:37

She booked the hotel at her own expense because it's her first chance to sleep past 6am in ten months though.

As she's paying for the make-up herself too it doesn't inconvenience the bride if she still pays but lets the beautician know she's not going to use the slot, and just does her own make-up if she wants to wear make-up, or doesn't wear make-up if she usually doesn't wear it.

Show quote history

"it's her first chance to sleep past 6am in ten months"

where does it say that? She's not a single parent is she?

I can't see what the issue is. Get up at 6.45 - ten min shower and makeup in your dressing gown, you can still stay up with your DH (presume the issue is you want either a proper sleep, an undisturbed shag, or both) until nearly midnight and have plenty of sleep?

WittyUser · 04/07/2026 19:50

I’ve been the bridesmaid to get their makeup done first but (a) it was as 10am and (b) I didn’t pay for it. If I had to pay for it or have it done so early I would have rather done it myself (as it was I would have preferred my own make up anyway - and it was a ‘celebrity make up artist’ to boot). So yeah I would be peeved of having to pay for an experience that I didn’t want….also everyone was in the room together, so no one drew the short straw as it were…

UnintentionalArcher · 04/07/2026 19:50

HaveYouFedTheFish · 04/07/2026 18:02

Isn't it blatantly obvious that she was hoping that shelling out for the hotel would mean a lie in. Especially as she's mentioned it's her first night away with her husband without the kids.

People are obtuse.

Show quote history

Yes, I thought this.

It’s a shame she didn’t say something earlier and I understand it’s now been booked, but if a bride is not able to pay for makeup herself then bridesmaids should be given the option of doing their own. If it was my friend with young children, I’d have tried to put them later knowing it was potentially a rare night for them to have a good sleep (having not had a full night’s sleep myself in 9 months!).

mintleavesandthyme · 04/07/2026 19:51

Just ask to swap

ToKittyornottoKitty · 04/07/2026 19:53

mintleavesandthyme · 04/07/2026 19:51

Just ask to swap

Why would anyone swap to the 7am slot?

UnintentionalArcher · 04/07/2026 19:53

WittyUser · 04/07/2026 19:50

I’ve been the bridesmaid to get their makeup done first but (a) it was as 10am and (b) I didn’t pay for it. If I had to pay for it or have it done so early I would have rather done it myself (as it was I would have preferred my own make up anyway - and it was a ‘celebrity make up artist’ to boot). So yeah I would be peeved of having to pay for an experience that I didn’t want….also everyone was in the room together, so no one drew the short straw as it were…

10am is much more sensible. The professional make-up element has never seemed necessary to me, except perhaps for the bride if she really wants it. It should be a personal choice for everyone involved.

I’ve had my make-up done once as a bridesmaid - it was a two day wedding and on the first day I did it myself and it looked better. The professional job looked caked on and sort of deadened my skin - I look grey in the photos and older than my age, and I say that as someone with very limited make-up skill myself!

Wexone · 04/07/2026 19:54

if its a church wedding and starting at 1pm then timing right. 6 bridemaids is alot for one make up artist so need times right. if I was the bride i would have arranged 2 make up artists to be there they can work on a bridesmaid each. I would be like you it's a bit too early for me if you can afford to loose money and pay again then go ahead however you might need to suck it up. I would ask for extra care to ensure it lasts know what lipstick colour it is and also ask can you have a quick look in case for touch ups after everyone done
for me own wedding I wanted to ensure I had a nice breakfast and rested so o had my wedding time at 2:30pm and only one bridesmaid so hair and make up didn't start till half 10 and 11am
edited to say if bride wants you to have make done you shouldn't have to be paying.

UnintentionalArcher · 04/07/2026 19:55

Wingwalk · 04/07/2026 19:49

"it's her first chance to sleep past 6am in ten months"

where does it say that? She's not a single parent is she?

I can't see what the issue is. Get up at 6.45 - ten min shower and makeup in your dressing gown, you can still stay up with your DH (presume the issue is you want either a proper sleep, an undisturbed shag, or both) until nearly midnight and have plenty of sleep?

Show quote history

It might be that she has a baby who doesn’t sleep well and is really struggling. If the baby is breastfed it’s quite possible. We can’t know that, of course, but we can’t know that she doesn’t. I agree the PP was making an unsupported assertion though.

OneMintBear · 04/07/2026 19:55

I think this is very normal, but it does make for a long day. Make sure you include breakfast slots in your rota!

We were up at 6am on the day of my friends wedding! We had one hairdresser and two make up artists to get through 5 bridesmaids, MOB and bride by midday!! Bride goes last obviously.

The hairdressers may well ask for you NOT to have clean hair, so washing it the night before rather than the morning of will save time.

cookbookjunkie · 04/07/2026 19:56

You'll need to eat with it on at some point before the wedding, presumably. As the MUA will be around right up until the bride is ready, ask her to leave your lipstick until last and come back to you briefly at the end to touch up / check you over and to do your lips. That seems like a fair compromise.

Poppycorn123 · 04/07/2026 19:56

I can't believe you have to pay for your makeup yourself. Surely the bride should pay?

Honeyhonayboo · 04/07/2026 19:56

UnintentionalArcher · 04/07/2026 19:50

Yes, I thought this.

It’s a shame she didn’t say something earlier and I understand it’s now been booked, but if a bride is not able to pay for makeup herself then bridesmaids should be given the option of doing their own. If it was my friend with young children, I’d have tried to put them later knowing it was potentially a rare night for them to have a good sleep (having not had a full night’s sleep myself in 9 months!).

Show quote history

There’s nothing to suggest Op wasn’t able to do her own, she was happy to pay and have her makeup done until it was 7am.

There is no suggestion she was forced to have her makeup done in the first place.

CrikeyMajikey · 04/07/2026 20:00

I’d do my own make up and have a lie in.

Corinthiana · 04/07/2026 20:00

cookbookjunkie · 04/07/2026 19:56

You'll need to eat with it on at some point before the wedding, presumably. As the MUA will be around right up until the bride is ready, ask her to leave your lipstick until last and come back to you briefly at the end to touch up / check you over and to do your lips. That seems like a fair compromise.

She could probably put lipstick on herself.
Mind you, if she's shelling out for the privilege of the rest of it, she may as well get her money's worth.

ThejoyofNC · 04/07/2026 20:02

I don't understand why you're trying to treat the night before a wedding where you know you'll be up early and not with your family, as some sort of getaway.

Someone has to go first and it's pretty obvious that the people who are staying on site will have the first slots as they're guaranteed to be on time.

Signing up to pay £60 (!!!) to have your makeup done when you are short on money was a very silly thing to do to begin with to be honest.

JoshLymanSwagger · 04/07/2026 20:03

You'll end up looking like a sweaty David Dickinson.
Tell the bride you're going last or cancelling the hotel.
Don't get "Bridezilla'd" by her.

eta WHY are you paying for make-up?
Either use your own or tell the Bride she should pay!!

JoshLymanSwagger · 04/07/2026 20:08

CrikeyMajikey · 04/07/2026 20:00

I’d do my own make up and have a lie in.

^ a THOUSAND times THIS.

SlightlyTerrifiedButPolite · 04/07/2026 20:09

I hate to break it to you but you have to suck it up. I had a 7.30 start as maid of honour. And there was an issue with the bride’s hair so mine didn’t even get finished. My friend had a 7am bridesmaid make up slot when she was in the first trimester and exhausted. It comes with the territory x

JoshLymanSwagger · 04/07/2026 20:11

OneMintBear · 04/07/2026 19:55

I think this is very normal, but it does make for a long day. Make sure you include breakfast slots in your rota!

We were up at 6am on the day of my friends wedding! We had one hairdresser and two make up artists to get through 5 bridesmaids, MOB and bride by midday!! Bride goes last obviously.

The hairdressers may well ask for you NOT to have clean hair, so washing it the night before rather than the morning of will save time.

Edited

Getting up way to early, a face full of somebody elses make up and dirty hair and YOU have to pay for it?!?! 🤯🙄

Loubissou · 04/07/2026 20:13

Realises I am really old. I didn't even have anyone to do my make-up for my own wedding, let alone my bridesmaids. I would be doing my own.

dahliadream · 04/07/2026 20:13

When I got married we had to start at 6.30am for a 1pm wedding so I would say this is pretty standard! It makes sense for those staying in the wedding hotel to go first as they don't need time to travel.

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