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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding make up too early - bridesmaid dilemma

181 replies

saminamama · 04/07/2026 06:24

Being bridesmaid for a dear friend of 12 years

of 6 bridesmaids 2 of us are staying in the hotel.
it is the first night with my DH away from both children during a really stressful phase in our life financially (youngest is 10 months old) and so booked the hotel of the wedding (I paid for this)

when I agreed to have makeup done (me to pay for this - £60) I didn’t realise I would be put on the very first slot - 7am. The maid of honor is in hair at this time because she also booked the hotel, but some of the other bridesmaids aren’t getting anything done until 9 or even 10am!

i have asked the bride to cancel but she has said no it’s too late I still need to pay,

so I’m still going to have to pay

so because I have booked ‘the hotel’ I have ended up pulling the short straw if I was in the premier inn up the road it would have been fine

aibu - get the makeup done and crack on at 7am
yanbu - pay and don’t get the makeup done value sleep instead

OP posts:
ThatCyanCat · 04/07/2026 09:19

CheeseWisely · 04/07/2026 07:53

Well that’s kind of the point isn’t it? OP’s first time staying away from her children, most people I’d imagine would like to enjoy at least a small lie-in.

For such a crowd of bridesmaids it would make sense to book two hair and make-up artists instead of starting at the crack of dawn on an already very long day.

Show quote history

We'd all like a lie in but that'll have to be arranged for another time. She's in a bridal party and it's the day of the wedding. Big day, early start.

LtJudyHopps · 04/07/2026 09:56

Someone has to go first and you’re there in the hotel already 🤷‍♀️ all you need to do is roll out of bed wash your face and go get your makeup done, it’s not strenuous.
If you’re having your hair done they advise you to wash it the day/night before and put no product in it, just blow dry it.
The makeup should last all day, only issue would be lips might need touching up once everyone is done.

ExtraOnions · 04/07/2026 09:58

My mate was on Strictly, they are in Hair & Make-up from 7am, for a show that doesn’t start until 7pm 🤣🤣

Cakeandcardio · 04/07/2026 10:01

How many bridesmaids? I had 2 plus me and we started on hair and make up at 8am. So 7 isn't really unreasonable. Someone has to go first. You are closer by so makes sense.

Iloveeverycat · 04/07/2026 10:02

Do bridmaids really have their make up done for weddings and mother of the bride. My DDs want to do their own makeup at their wedding so it's what they normally look like.

Loulou4022 · 04/07/2026 10:15

If anything like my wedding the hair and makeup artist will have set the timetable not the bride. There were only 5 of us and 2 stylists but we still had a 6.30am start for a 1pm wedding as the hair & makeup lady wanted everyone finished by 11.30 am to allow contingency time and time to get our dresses on as venue wanted us ready for 12.30! So I’d be ready for my meeting with the registrar before the ceremony.
The bride will be up that early too as they will most likely be doing all hair & makeup in her room. My mum was first in the chair and we made fun of it and had a cuppa and a natter. Then the bridesmaids arrived and mum & I went for brekkie but basically all 5 of us sat in my room gossiping and quaffing prosseco it was a wonderful start to the day.
At this point you really just need to suck it up and get up, sadly someone has to be first and it’s not just you by the sounds of it as MoH is having her hair done that time. Please don’t cause the bride extra stress by trying to change times or swap with someone! If you do swap with someone it will throw out their hair time!!!

ThatCyanCat · 04/07/2026 10:16

Iloveeverycat · 04/07/2026 10:02

Do bridmaids really have their make up done for weddings and mother of the bride. My DDs want to do their own makeup at their wedding so it's what they normally look like.

Edited

It's very normal. One of my bridesmaids preferred to do her own makeup, the rest of us plus my mother and MIL got the expert to do it. She made us look much better than we could.

Gonk123 · 04/07/2026 10:17

They know all the tricks to make the make up last all day. Have no fear.

Loulou4022 · 04/07/2026 10:17

Iloveeverycat · 04/07/2026 10:02

Do bridmaids really have their make up done for weddings and mother of the bride. My DDs want to do their own makeup at their wedding so it's what they normally look like.

Edited

I think the professionals can make it last much longer. We had very natural looking makeup but it lasted all day! Took me ages to get it all off properly at the end of the evening. Plus they know how to do it so it looks good on the photos

welshgirl2025 · 04/07/2026 10:22

But you are staying at the hotel overnight anyway so thats why you are probably first. Its not like you have to travel from home to be there by 7am. Its your friend's wedding day and she has had to consider everyone not just you. YABU

GroinMurder · 04/07/2026 10:26

Memorably the first time my baby slept through I still woke up at 2 am.
I suspect it's going to take more than one night away to break the broken sleep, early start routine.

Get up, hair and make up. Go back to bed, prop yourself up room service breakfast and scroll, dose and watch rubbish TV, safely knowing you are not responsible for anyone.

I'd also leave the later appointment bridesmaids to do all the running around etc and enjoy the whole long lie in till ten/11 ish

Aluna · 04/07/2026 10:29

If she can’t afford to pay for the makeup she can’t afford 6 bridesmaids.

Why do people enable this nonsense?

bellventrico · 04/07/2026 10:33

My MIL is still huffing 4 years later about being second to last in the chain - it's a difficult one

HaveYouFedTheFish · 04/07/2026 10:37

TheHungryHungryLandsharks · 04/07/2026 06:28

It’s 7am and your ‘dear friends wedding.’

Not 3am and someone you barely know.

7am is hardly early and I doubt the makeup artist is going to be sitting around between 7:30 and 9 waiting for others to arrive. Stop causing bride another headache (there’s almost certainly more than enough causing her stress already), smile and suck it up.

She booked the hotel at her own expense because it's her first chance to sleep past 6am in ten months though.

As she's paying for the make-up herself too it doesn't inconvenience the bride if she still pays but lets the beautician know she's not going to use the slot, and just does her own make-up if she wants to wear make-up, or doesn't wear make-up if she usually doesn't wear it.

welshgirl2025 · 04/07/2026 10:37

bellventrico · 04/07/2026 10:33

My MIL is still huffing 4 years later about being second to last in the chain - it's a difficult one

I was MOB last saturday. Daughter also had 6 bridesmaids and ceremony at 1pm. so no time for me or MOG to have our make up done professionally and we stayed in venue night before. I havent worn make up for years and was rushing around trying make up lessons and buying make up. would love to have even been in the chain! But I would never say or complain about it to son or DIL. It was their day not mine.

HaveYouFedTheFish · 04/07/2026 10:44

Loulou4022 · 04/07/2026 10:15

If anything like my wedding the hair and makeup artist will have set the timetable not the bride. There were only 5 of us and 2 stylists but we still had a 6.30am start for a 1pm wedding as the hair & makeup lady wanted everyone finished by 11.30 am to allow contingency time and time to get our dresses on as venue wanted us ready for 12.30! So I’d be ready for my meeting with the registrar before the ceremony.
The bride will be up that early too as they will most likely be doing all hair & makeup in her room. My mum was first in the chair and we made fun of it and had a cuppa and a natter. Then the bridesmaids arrived and mum & I went for brekkie but basically all 5 of us sat in my room gossiping and quaffing prosseco it was a wonderful start to the day.
At this point you really just need to suck it up and get up, sadly someone has to be first and it’s not just you by the sounds of it as MoH is having her hair done that time. Please don’t cause the bride extra stress by trying to change times or swap with someone! If you do swap with someone it will throw out their hair time!!!

Edited

Wow this sounds like a film set (aside from the prosecco) schedule. I have never attended a wedding requiring being present for a 6:30am start for a 1pm ceremony...

Although admittedly the few weddings where I have been offered slots with hairdressers and make-up due to being close family I've said no thanks. I didn't wear make-up for my own wedding and did my own hair, because that sort of rigmarole and long life make-up and hair products really aren't my style.

I understand the suck it up if she's really your friend attitude, but the whole thing sounds really over the top!

Schoolchoicesucks · 04/07/2026 10:45

Set your alarm for 6.30am and all you need to do is quick shower and clean face and teeth. If you're getting hair done they usually ask for day old hair so no need to wash.
You can have leisurely breakfast and everything after the make up.
Someone had to be first, I get it might be nice if it wasn't you and you could have had a nice lie in. But you may well be awake early anyway if your body clock is set to 10 month old schedule.
The money for hotel and make up is separate - if you've agreed to it for a dear friend try and do it without resentment or causing her headaches.

HaveYouFedTheFish · 04/07/2026 10:48

Schoolchoicesucks · 04/07/2026 10:45

Set your alarm for 6.30am and all you need to do is quick shower and clean face and teeth. If you're getting hair done they usually ask for day old hair so no need to wash.
You can have leisurely breakfast and everything after the make up.
Someone had to be first, I get it might be nice if it wasn't you and you could have had a nice lie in. But you may well be awake early anyway if your body clock is set to 10 month old schedule.
The money for hotel and make up is separate - if you've agreed to it for a dear friend try and do it without resentment or causing her headaches.

Sorry, misread you were suggesting showering first. I thought I was getting a window into a world of the unwashed but professionally painted 🫣

Loulou4022 · 04/07/2026 10:59

HaveYouFedTheFish · 04/07/2026 10:44

Wow this sounds like a film set (aside from the prosecco) schedule. I have never attended a wedding requiring being present for a 6:30am start for a 1pm ceremony...

Although admittedly the few weddings where I have been offered slots with hairdressers and make-up due to being close family I've said no thanks. I didn't wear make-up for my own wedding and did my own hair, because that sort of rigmarole and long life make-up and hair products really aren't my style.

I understand the suck it up if she's really your friend attitude, but the whole thing sounds really over the top!

Show quote history

I guess that’s how they have to work! No point just having people wandering in whenever they feel
like it and then everything running late and not getting to the ceremony on time!! I’m not a hair or makeup person day to day but wanted to look good on my special and wanted my mum and bridesmaids to feel as good as me too as they’re in the limelight too.

MammaTo · 04/07/2026 11:47

Been a bridesmaid a few times and 7am is pretty reasonable. If it’s being done professionally it will stay on all day and night, just go and relax and enjoy the atmosphere.
ETA that you’ll be surprised how quickly the time passes when you’re getting ready and chatting amongst yourselves.

Ooodelally · 04/07/2026 12:18

Stop being a dick to your friend. She must really be regretting choosing you as a bridesmaid!

CheeseWisely · 04/07/2026 16:10

ThatCyanCat · 04/07/2026 09:19

We'd all like a lie in but that'll have to be arranged for another time. She's in a bridal party and it's the day of the wedding. Big day, early start.

Show quote history

I asked my two adult bridesmaids to be there by 9.30am and the 2 teens to be there about 11. I had make up and hair first so I definitely wouldn’t be rushed, and was nearly done when they arrived. It was a big day for me, no need for it to be such a long big day for them.

Rycbar · 04/07/2026 16:40

That’s a pretty standard time for wedding make up to start and it makes far more sense for the person who is already there to go first… someone has to be 7am. Why not you?

HaveYouFedTheFish · 04/07/2026 16:51

Rycbar · 04/07/2026 16:40

That’s a pretty standard time for wedding make up to start and it makes far more sense for the person who is already there to go first… someone has to be 7am. Why not you?

It looks as though she's suggesting not getting her make-up done (but still paying for the service, just not using it) and not suggesting anyone else should swap with her.

Is it upsetting to brides if bridesmaids don't have make-up done by a professional? Is it upsetting to brides if bridesmaids don't wear make-up?

If so, why is the OP paying for the make-up service herself?

Viviennemary · 04/07/2026 16:56

I would be horrified if somebody suggested make up being done at 7 am. So hair would need to be done at 6 am. As surely hair needs to be done before make-up. Its mad. Still I suppose you'll just have to agree or lose £60.