Wedding make up too early - bridesmaid dilemma

[saminamama]

Being bridesmaid for a dear friend of 12 years

of 6 bridesmaids 2 of us are staying in the hotel.
it is the first night with my DH away from both children during a really stressful phase in our life financially (youngest is 10 months old) and so booked the hotel of the wedding (I paid for this)

when I agreed to have makeup done (me to pay for this - £60) I didn’t realise I would be put on the very first slot - 7am. The maid of honor is in hair at this time because she also booked the hotel, but some of the other bridesmaids aren’t getting anything done until 9 or even 10am!

i have asked the bride to cancel but she has said no it’s too late I still need to pay,

so I’m still going to have to pay

so because I have booked ‘the hotel’ I have ended up pulling the short straw if I was in the premier inn up the road it would have been fine

aibu - get the makeup done and crack on at 7am
yanbu - pay and don’t get the makeup done value sleep instead

What’s the actual issue you have? Professional make up lasts ages. And the make up artist has at 7 people to get through.

It's completely clear that she doesn't want to get up at 6am on her first night/morning away from her ten month old baby, given she's paid to stay at the venue and the wedding isn't until lunchtime.

She's paying for her own make-up appointment for some reason and is tempted just to cancel, accepting she'll still pay for the unused appointment.

I was bridesmaid for a friend a couple of years ago. Stayed over in the venue the night before with the whole wedding party. I was first for makeup at 7am the morning of. Was I tired? Yes. Did it affect my day? No. The makeup artist was busy all morning, but was available for touch ups before we went off to the ceremony, and after we’d had breakfast (which was delivered to the bridal suite at about 9am so well after I’d started my make up!)

someone has to go first and it seems obvious that it’s someone staying in the venue as opposed to someone staying up the road. Bride will always go last!

This. 100%.

7am is surely not that early for someone with two young kids?

Isn't it blatantly obvious that she was hoping that shelling out for the hotel would mean a lie in. Especially as she's mentioned it's her first night away with her husband without the kids.

People are obtuse.

Yes check a swap but if not get up and have your make up done - you’ll look great all day !

I would ask if anyone can swap their slot with you but I assume it will be a long day for everyone so I think even if you swapped to 9am, your presence would probably be expected before then

Simply do your own makeup, problem solved.

Presumably the make up debacle is past now but I would assume that the make up artists did touch ups before the ceremony. Fairly standard practice for someone to have to go first, it’s annoying but it isn’t your wedding day and honestly, enjoy it. A wedding day is a lovely one!

For my sons wedding I was first off the blocks at 8am. Wedding at 1230pm and it was a very warm day. My make up was fine and stayed put all day (and night)

Tbh, as yours is the first slot, I’d ask the make up artist if you could get a refund and she could get an extra half hour in bed, while you do your own make up. Not a hope in hell that I’d be getting up at stupid o’clock on my only night away in ages. Nor would I expect any of my friends to do so.

7am isn’t early for a wedding ! Go and get it done . Don't spoil your friends day by causing drama. Organising this sort of thing is a logistical nightmare for the bride .

7am really isn’t that early for a wedding. Especially with six bridesmaids and the bride. You all need to be ready (dressed etc) at least an hour before the ceremony for photos and touch ups.
The other bridesmaids staying down the road will also be up at a similar time to you, I assume, so they can get showered, dressed, pack their stuff and get to the hotel.

I think you’re being unreasonable and causing the bride stress. Weddings are stressful enough as it is. Are you staying at the hotel the night of the wedding too? If so, you can have a lie in the next day?

Is it because you were hoping for a bit of a lie in as you’re having a night away from
the kids? Can’t really blame you for that. Not sure there is much you can do unless you decide to cancel, take a hit on the money and do your own make up?

Makeup artist should be giving your face a good coat in one size setting spray which will make your makeup last all day through sweating and crying etc

You have a choice.

Be outraged at the timing, refuse, take a stand.

Or

Just roll with it. It is really not a big deal. An early start - sure it would have been nice to have a lie in but you got the 7am slot. That's life.

You don't need to get "makeup done" at all. Getting someone to do this is a comparatively recent trend. People have much more of a disposable income nowadays.
You could easily do it yourself and save money, plus get sleep! However, it sounds as if the person is already booked, so you really ought to have spoken up before.
It'll be hours before the other women are done? Have a relaxing lie down with a good book.

I know it’s too late now but I just find it really odd that bridesmaids need to pay someone to do their make up for them - surely they can do their own?

I agree that 7am isn't early for a bridesmaid but at the same time, I have every sympathy. Bridesmaids are expected to stay for the whole event so there's a good chance you'll still be up at 1am and the thought of such a long day as someone with a young child seems impossible to me right now 😬

This ⬆️

Yes I find it odd, it does seem like another unnecessary expense

This is very normal, especially with that many bridesmaids, maybe mother of the bride as well etc, so someone has to go first. Makes sense it’s someone staying at the venue. If it were to be someone not staying there, they’d be up even earlier. You’re unlikely to need to wash and dry hair as hair up or styling is better when washed the day before. Literally just get up, brush your teeth, wash your face and then you’re in the chair. You’ve plenty of time then to get dressed and do other bits after plus then it feels nice when you’re ready later on and not being rushed.
if the make up artist starts to run out of time, it won’t be the bride that gets less time so be thankful you’ll be ready.

It’ll be fine. We started around the same time for my wedding and everyone’s stayed fresh all day. Professional makeup artists know what they’re doing. It’s really not that early

I thought your issue was going to be worrying that the make up would come off, so I was surprised to see it’s just because you want to sleep longer. Get the make up done