To not go on a family holiday I wouldn't enjoy

[Bennybannsider2]

The holiday we planned to book has to be withdrawn due to the war in Iran, and it just didn't work out reinstating it now flights are back running normally. We (family of 2ad 3 teens) still want to go on holiday. We enjoy most types of hols but in recent years as we get to know our preferences some of us favour busy resorts like Benidorm (strip) and genuinely enjoy a holiday buying fake t-shirts, eating chicken & chips, going to busy bars. And some of us (me) have tried that, tried it again and don't want to do it a third time as a main holiday - I still enjoy it as a few days off season.

It ended up getting close to our annual leave dates and my husband booked a trip to this type of resort. I knew he was doing the booking and it suited me to not have to expend energy doing it. We had talked about what we wanted and one thing I definitely wanted was to go on holiday for longer than a week, which he has booked. But it's a resort I don't like, hotel looks old fashioned, pool tiny, the board basis I don't think will work for our family.....We had discussed some of these things but he didn't know that the board basis for example was a deal breaker.

I said I'm not going there. It's too late to change any parts as it was all booked so short notice.

Husband is totally capable of looking after his own kids for the holiday.

AIBU to not go on this holiday?

Go on this one. Next year, you organise the holiday.

I'm sure you’ll have fun once you’re there.

Sorry i’ve voted YABU as i can’t understand your mentality of not wanting to spend time with your family just because of a small pool and an old hotel.

Why did you let him book it if you had such specific requirements?

YABU if you didn't get involved in booking the trip but still expected it to be exactly what you wanted. Did you communicate clearly that you didn't want to go to that type of resort? I wouldn't go to it either but I would have been involved in the planning so I didn't end up with something I didn't like.

Also, lesson learned that no bookings are made without checking first that everyone likes the look of it. One person can take responsibliity for the research etc if that's what works best, but no final bookings until everyone has OK'd it.

So it suited you for him to book it because you don't want to expand energy doing so and now he's booked it you've turned round and simply said you're not going? YABU, I'm sure you could enjoy it if you tried but you appear to have written it off completely. It's week abroad with your children not some sort of boot camp.

Your poor husband! You can’t be arsed to book something but then complain at what he books.

go, enjoy a relaxing time with your family and next year get involved in the booking process

Yabu.

It sounds like you had a lot of specific requirements of how you want things if you won't go due to an old fashioned hotel and small pool, but then also didn't want to bother researching or booking anything so this is what has been booked

Just go and make the best of it. Surely doing the holiday with your family is better than missing out completely?

Feels a bit like you are having a sulk because your husband didn't book exactly what you wanted and are now cutting your nose off to spite your face

You couldn’t be arsed doing it and now you’re moaning. You sound controlling tbh

I think if I was your husband I would suspect you had done this deliberately because you wanted to stay home alone.

Reverse?

Well it's not just the small pool and old fashioned hotel. I think the pool will seriously affect the children's enjoyment but they're going.

The board basis combined with resort is my main problem. One of our teens is a binge eater. It seems to be an outworking of his autism and he can't stop himself, and he's also very bad at making healthy food choices. So in an AI (which we have done) he gorges on chocolate fountain etc. It's all well and good saying to supervise his eating but irl it doesn't work like that. In this resort (it's big so the parts within 30 min walk) are British -owned and British market type places, chicken chips kebab. He'd eat chips+ something every night and enjoy it. I get upset seeing his awful eating, and I don't want to eat like this myself. (Short trips, I just did it.) It'll also cost a lot to feed a family as it'll have to be eating out.

As someone who has not had a holiday in twenty years, I would say go and try to make the best of it.

No! My husband who is normally a holiday booking expert has lost the run of himself and booked something I really don't want to do.

I didn't get a long holiday last year just mini trips, so I am ready for a proper long holiday. Believe it or not I'm a generally positive person! But I just know I won't enjoy this holiday for this long in this accommodation.

Why didn't you step in to organise the holiday? You knew your leave dates were approaching but left it to DH and are now annoyed.

Longer than a few days in any resort sounds awful but it's what you asked for. Whether you go or not, your DS will still binge eat. Just go on the holiday, and take responsibility for booking next year if you know what you want and what you don't.

So the question still remains why didn't you actually help plan it if you are so picky?

It sounds like your poor husbands choice was try to organise something that took into account the differing needs of you and the children or no holiday at all because you weren't going to help sort it?

So add another week on and go somewhere which is to your taste. We’re doing a couple of locations in Portugal because I don’t want to spend 2 weeks at the same beach resort (. We’re doing city for a few days, one beach town for a few days then a week at a surf place )

go and explore the area

Teens eat crap on holiday. My tween would choose pizza from the AI buffet every day, so what? Go out for dinner sometimes but don’t get het up about daily chips.

So I did do a lot of research on seeing what airports we could get to. Then seeing what resorts/ towns were there. Then eliminating some (eg Galicia Spain because of not knowing enough about it to pick something wed like that wasn't the same Eurocamp We've been to already.)

I would have booked the holiday together a few days ago, but husband was tired from working. I pointed out I was going into a long set of shifts so I'd be tired at the other end.

So I did what I could, and wanting to get something everyone would like, I waited.i was working on the day he booked. We talked about it and exchanged screen shots of holidays on my rea break and lunch break.

Then he booked a different type of holiday. He did get kids' input. I was at work so obviously not available.

Wherever it is (may be helpful to share for ideas), the resort is only one part if the country/island. Either hire a car or get on Viator and get out and see something more than the resort itself.
And try to not worry about what your teen eats for a couple of weeks.

I'm not being a martyr here but I'd be happy knowing the kids had inputted their opinions (mine are also teens) and knowing they would like the holiday and get excited over it.

For me, as long as the teens are occupied and enjoying it, I can slot in and enjoy aspects.

Its booked now and can't be changed. Plan some day trips to do that you know you will enjoy and make the best of it

I'd be absolutely furious if my OH let me do all the mental load of looking for, planning and booking a holiday just for him to refuse to Come. Absolutely fuming. Next time put some effort into the planning, too.

A few people have commented on the chips. My other two will holiday eat. That's life and they can get back to normal at home. My son Im talking about has an eating problem and he will gorge. It's not just a holiday problem, this is real life but it's exhausting and really worrying. It'll happen whether or not I'm there.

On this particular holiday, there isn't an option to feed him well in restaurants (he couldn't walk and hour to get to a seafood place) and we don't have cooking facilities other than tea/ coffee. So the crap eating will happen whether or not I'm there and on this holiday we can't solve that problem. So that is really annoying to me that seemingly my husband, who sees and is involved in these daily struggles, forgot about this when booking. Forgot that's why we were looking at villas. Forgot all the screenshots were for villa holidays. (Or apartments.) Forgot that Eurocamp was ruled out because he and some kids like a higher standard of accommodation.