To have told my sister she was unprofessional and inappropriate? * [Content warning: concerns baby loss]

[Girlsonahill]

Without being completely outing, part of my sister's job involves going into lots of people's homes. We have a group whatsapp chat with our mum and although not the closest of sisters, generally talk most days get along fine. Today she posted a short video she filmed of a picture someone had up on their wall of their deceased baby and simply captioned "it's dead". This person was unaware she did this. I was horrified. gently told her I thought it was inappropriate and really unprofessional and I got a barrage of abuse back saying I was being judgemental and did I think I was the moral police. My mum said nothing presumably to keep the peace. She has form for being unable to accept any type of criticism but now I'm left feeling like I'm in the wrong and shouldn't have said anything. AIBU?

Of course not. Why on earth are you asking?

Nope, your sister's unprofessional and (sorry) a f*cking callous bitch.

Your sis is a bit of a prick (to put it mildly)

Your sister should be reported to her employer.

What a heartless, nasty thing to do.

I think you were right to call her out on it.

That is disgusting, OP. My job involves working within homes too and I would never even consider taking photos of anything within their private property. Unprofessional. And to say that about a baby who has passed? Shocking. Please tell me she doesn't work with vulnerable people or children?
Is your sister autistic and so perhaps doesn't understand social boundaries?

I wouldnt have been so gentle. Your sister is awful

Thats horrible 8

Autistic people can understand that you don’t go and take a photo of a service users deceased baby and share it on your family WhatsApp

Because she genuinely made me feel like I was overreacting. My mum said nothing, and although my partner agreed it was an awful thing to do, said I shouldn't have said anything to keep the peace

Isn't that a sackable offence?

Are you sure she took the photo herself of one of her clients? I can just very well imagine that kind of dark humour being posted in some nursing group chats I’ve seen. It’s still not ok.

That’s what sisters are for - to tell you when you’re doing something out of order. Well done OP.

That’s an awful caption to a baby photo. And soooo unnecessary. You’ve done nothing wrong @Girlsonahill and well done for not just accepting a vile message. She should be ashamed of herself.

She unsettled your peace!

@Watchoutfortheslowaraf I understand that. But what I am saying is re the "dead baby" comment. My brother is autistic. As a younger man he didn't really understand the "gravity" of death as a concept. And he also didn't understand the difference between sleeping and having passed away. As a child he would say sleeping dogs on a greetings card, for example, had "died."
I am unsure if the OP meant the baby had already passed when the photo was taken. To me, and having lost pregnancies myself, that is a beautiful and fitting tribute. But my brother may not understand this in the same way and might well think it a bit "unusual" for want of a better way of putting it.

How on earth can she try to justify doing such an appalling thing? Why would it even cross her mind to do it in the first place?

Tell her to her boss and the person who's privacy and trust she broke.
What a utter bitch.

Some people don’t react well to shame. Just let it blow over, you’re in the right and she knows it but is attacking because she doesn’t want to admit it.

No. She is not autistic. The baby in the photo had died, it looked like a newborn. It made me so sad to look at it and think what those parents would feel if they knew what she had done

She’s only upset because you called her out on her bad behaviour. Easier to blame you than have to accept she did something truly awful. People don’t like to feel badly about themselves.

What an utterly dreadful thing to do. She absolutely took advantage of the reason she was in someone’s else’s home and then felt entitled to judge and criticize. She’s totally in the wrong.

This makes me so sad. Our first baby was still born and I treasure the pictures we took of him. Your sisters reaction is why I’d never display the pictures in our home, I have a memory box instead. People who haven’t experienced this type of loss can never understand the fact that you’ve lost your child but it’s still the only chance you ever get to hold them and look at their little face so you just want to cling on to that.

Of course you’re not unreasonable and quite honestly there’s something wrong with people like your sister; a weird almost sociopathic lack of empathy. She sounds awful.

@Girlsonahill Did you ask her what possessed her to.do it? I can imagine to that family the photo of their beautiful baby who has passed is so incredibly precious and it ultimately is disrespectful to a) Take a photo of someone else's baby without permission and b) To post it to a group and mock it.
Besides, she shouldn't even be taking photos in other people's homes without express consent.
I would be angry with her too.