To have told my sister she was unprofessional and inappropriate? * [Content warning: concerns baby loss]

[Girlsonahill]

Without being completely outing, part of my sister's job involves going into lots of people's homes. We have a group whatsapp chat with our mum and although not the closest of sisters, generally talk most days get along fine. Today she posted a short video she filmed of a picture someone had up on their wall of their deceased baby and simply captioned "it's dead". This person was unaware she did this. I was horrified. gently told her I thought it was inappropriate and really unprofessional and I got a barrage of abuse back saying I was being judgemental and did I think I was the moral police. My mum said nothing presumably to keep the peace. She has form for being unable to accept any type of criticism but now I'm left feeling like I'm in the wrong and shouldn't have said anything. AIBU?

Dear god, your sister is vile!! Habitually filming and taking the piss out of her service users homes?? And your mum ‘says nothing to keep the peace’?

Your sister should be nowhere near other people’s homes, and your mum should be ashamed of how she’s parented (spoiled) her!!

If I were you OP, I’d be removing myself from the toxic WhatsApp group and blocking my sister on all channels! I just couldn’t be in the same circle as an utter cunt like her.

Thats fucking awful - i would report her to boss but you wont to keep the peace - your sister is a vile human, having lost a child myself - i cant believe humans like this exist.

If I were being visited by someone in a professional capacity I absolutely wouldn’t let someone like her willingly into my home. It’s abhorrent. It isn’t misguided, misinformed, naive, a mistake. It is deliberate.

She should not be filming in a clients home. That's completely unprofessional. Is she a member of any kind of regulatory body or professional organisation ?

I really, really hope your sister is not my cleaner.

Well she should t be filming in someones home without permission full stop . That's highly inappropriate and a breach of trust probably gross misconduct without the fact she's shared it .

Tell her that you will report this to her employer. If she is pretty much saying that what she did is OK and not a big deal, she shouldn't be worried about her employer knowing what she has done.

Is she entering other people's homes to provide some sort of help and support? If so, that makes what she has done ever more disgusting.

It is very inappropriate to be taking any pictures or videos of people’s homes for sharing with her family, particularly to sneer at them.

But yes this is worse. We had a stillborn baby and we have a picture of them up. It makes the odd person uncomfortable but that is their problem not mine. I would be beyond livid if I found out someone took a picture or video to sneer at my baby’s photo and would be taking whatever action with employee or regulator existed.

Do not apologise, don’t get drawn into an argument - stick to the facts. Tell her she knows fine well that she’d get sacked for that, or would she be happy with her employer know she’s sharing a picture of a deceased baby with strangers (of the mother) to take the piss. She shouldn’t be in that job if she thinks it’s acceptable behaviour.

That’s fucking disgusting. I would be cutting her off hope one day she goes through the agony of loosing a child and learns what it feels like.

I can't think of any job in the world where it wouldn't be. Absolutely vile behaviour op. She should be reported to her employer without any hesitation.

Horrific. My friends have a picture up of their son who sadly passed away in childbirth. Absolutely abhorrent to think that someone coming in to their home would take a picture of it and send it to other people. As if the pain of losing a child isn’t enough.
Your sister is a disgusting human. I’d report her to her employer and hope she loses her job

That could have been my best friend’s photograph on her wall. Very sad!

You're absolutely right that this crossed a different line, but the other videos aren't harmless. She's invading her clients' privacy and breaching their trust. Not to mention bringing her profession into disrepute, as it could damage people's trust in them as a whole.

Your sister is vile. The people whose homes she visiting have a right to know who they are letting into their home.

Your mum saying nothing makes her just as bad imo.

I would be telling her she should be grateful I’m not reporting her although I’m appalled by her behaviour. Callous doesn’t cover it. Unbelievably nasty and cruel.

This very serious. I don’t suppose you will reveal what profession she is in. She is a reflection of that profession and I am sure the majority of people that do have access to people’s homes and private lives are very professional and respect confidentiality and then there are bad ones that get in and do whatever the industry is, disrepute. Report her and tell her that you are doing it.

I don't even understand the point of what she was trying to say? Why would a photograph of a strangers baby, dead or alive, be of any interest to anyone?!

And of course she shouldn't be taking photos of the contents of her clients homes. What's next..quick snap of both sides of these bank cards here in this wallet?!

Definitely tell her she'll get fired if she keeps sharing private images of things in people's homes. She's definitely unprofessional, rude and pretty pathetic if she thinks sending that was in any way amusing?

Utterly appalling for anyone to do such a thing.

Send her this thread. She needs to know what other women think of her behaviour. And she should not be going a job that gives her access to people’s homes if she behaves like a thoughtless, nasty teenager.

I would ask her to delete it and remove it from any public places. If she refused I would report her to her employer. I couldn’t pretend to have an ordinary relationship with someone who would seek to do something so harmful.

I'd be less than impressed if someone who came into my home did something like that and would lodge a complaint if I found out. Is your sister always a thoughtless idiot?

Your sister is a disrespectful cunt. Hope that never happens to her, she won’t think it’s so funny then.

Absolutely this. She needs to give her head a wobble. Just disgusting!!!