To have told my sister she was unprofessional and inappropriate? * [Content warning: concerns baby loss]

[Girlsonahill]

Without being completely outing, part of my sister's job involves going into lots of people's homes. We have a group whatsapp chat with our mum and although not the closest of sisters, generally talk most days get along fine. Today she posted a short video she filmed of a picture someone had up on their wall of their deceased baby and simply captioned "it's dead". This person was unaware she did this. I was horrified. gently told her I thought it was inappropriate and really unprofessional and I got a barrage of abuse back saying I was being judgemental and did I think I was the moral police. My mum said nothing presumably to keep the peace. She has form for being unable to accept any type of criticism but now I'm left feeling like I'm in the wrong and shouldn't have said anything. AIBU?

She's self-employed!

Might still be registered with the council or social services, she must have applied for a dbs check and hopefully undertaken some training. You can report self employed carers to social services safeguarding teams and the police.

She's not a carer she's an estate agent. A self-employed estate agent.

There will be someone who oversees her, safeguarding is one route, is she a member of any ea organisation.

According to Google, self employed ea are regulated by the national trading standards estate and letting agents team, I'd start there.

If someone came into my home and unbeknownst to me, took a picture of my daughter who was stillborn, and whose picture we have around the house, shared it around presumably in a judgemental, ‘look these people have a dead baby picture on their wall’, I would be devastated and horrified. It is a disgusting thing to do and a total professionalism breach. I’d have been blasting her all over social media but I recognise you can’t do that as she’s your sister. I’d be cutting ties with her though, she’s a vile human.

Has she taken it down?
Pretty sure that's stackable and rightly so.

No. I've deleted them from my phone but I can see the photos are still there to download. I've had a message from my mum today saying not to fall out with my sister and she just posted them because she thought it was a weird thing to do and that she wouldn't have sent them outside the family chat. She too couldn't quite comprehend the severity of it. I think I've been born into the wrong family! Hence posting here. She's always right and I'm always wrong so I just needed some reassurance that I was right to approach her. Thank you all, and I'm truly sorry again about the sensitive nature of this thread

Imagine if a police officer shared them on a WhatsApp group.

She lacks any common sense. At least you know now not to trust her.

OP, do you know why she thinks she is above everyone else? Has she always been like that?

So she is self-employed. Does she run her own estate agent business? I think she should be reported to whoever gives an estate agent their licence to operate.

I honestly gasped when I read this. Yes it's absolutely shocking and goes against every possible standard of behaviour, both professional and moral. Well done OP for calling her out on it.

Does your mum and sister know that you have posted a thread on MN?

You seem to be the only person in your family with some empathy and compassion. Your sister is obviously the worst as she posted the photo and the caption to mock the client whose baby had tragically died. Your mum seems to automatically take her side, irrespective of how awful she is being.

It's your decision whether to fall out with your sister or not. If you decide that you don't want a relationship with her, it's none of your mum's business. She has managed to raise a complete arsehole by never corrrecting her awful behaviour. Well done OP for being a decent person, even though you are being painted as the bad guy.

Why does that matter

She has been like this for a while now. It's got much worse with age

No they don't. I don't even want to tell them because it will be twisted back onto me. How dare I do this to my sister etc. she can be a really nice person and she does love her family (or at least she makes out she does) but she can also be really cruel

Have you read the whole thread?

Vile. Intrusive. And I sincerely hope she doesn't take their money after that.
There must be some kind regulator you can report her to. I'd happily do it for you!

There is. Here: National Trading Standards Estate and Letting Agency Teams - National Trading Standards .

I do think it would be worth reporting to the Information Commissioner - she really should not be sharing photos of clients homes with family at all regardless of the content. I agree that the content of this latest "share" with you is particularly insensitive and lacking in compassion but sharing anything really calls into question her professionalism.

I suppose it's a grey area, because as an estate agent she will have been given permission to take photos inside the property. Obviously what she did in sharing that particular photo, with that description, with her family was 100% wrong and just appalling.

she will have been given permission for certain uses. I am willing to bet that sharing them on a group chat and making snarky comments is not one of those uses.

Quite but who is going to tell the clients? I don't think the OP will and certainly no one else in the family is going to.

my point is that its not a grey area.