Invited the wrong child by mistake

[Oopsididitnotagain]

What to do-if anything?

Dd is having a party at a play place, ten children including herself, allowed. It was hard for her to narrow down her invites as she likes so many in the class and also has family friends to include.
I asked the class representative to please send me a list of the children & parents names & numbers. I made a group invite and sent via WhatsApp. One mum has replied to say her child can come-a boy Dd likes, but isn’t particularly close to, all the other children are girls, aside from one family friend, another boy. It was obviously a mixed up number, I thought I was sending the invite to one of her best friends.

Dd is disappointed and I think the mum was a little surprised too 🫣

Would you do anything?

I agree to let the mum know about the mix up without uninviting to see if they withdraw. If they don't, and everyone else can come, I'd see if I could borrow the money to invite one extra.

You can’t uninvite him.
I think you’ll just have to either find the money for an extra or invite this girl out for a separate birthday treat with just DD, park and ice cream etc.

I would write to her and tell her what happened and say that he's very welcome to come if he wants to but none of the other boys will be there... if he's anything like my son he will be grateful for the opportunity to bail. At that point you can invite DD's friend. If he still wants to come then I don't think you can uninvite him

I can’t and wouldn’t uninvite him, but I am
conscious of him being the only boy from the class. Dd likes him, but literally never plays with him, like she does with a lot of the other boys and I can’t hardly remember her mentioning him 😬 I’m wondering if the mum is a bit confused too.
I will pay extra if needed, but should I then give her a heads up anyway about the girls thing? All so awkward!
Looking at the class list given, it says this number is X’s (girls name) mum, I even put that in my phone, I was so surprised when she replied…X (boys name) would love to come

Don’t do this. Just don’t.

Why do people make an error and then try and claim they dont have any money! It drives me bananas. How much are we talking about £15-£20?

Its like those people who go abroad and then start a Go Fund Me because they couldnt be arsed to get any travel insurance.

You cannot uninvite this poor boy.

Go Oldskool next time get your daughter to use pen, paper and envelope invites - there will be no mix up when she hands the invites out in person. Much more personal too I used to love writing my party invites 🩷

Are they siblings. Is her best friend in the same class group as her or are they the same year so have breaks together but different classes and your child is in his class.

Absolutely definitely do not uninvited him, that would be an appalling social faux pas and would be so upsetting for the poor kid if he is already aware of the party. Either stump up extra for (ideally!) two more, the friend missed in error and a mate for the little boy invited in error OR bump the family friends to another day (they’re much more likely to be accepting of this without causing offence) and invite the actual friend that way. What a pickle.

You should tell the mum about the error. It will be bloody obvious on the day so don't set them up for embarrassment then just because you're too embarrassed to tell them now.

Then you can leave it up to her what to do.

Honestly, as a boy mum, I think you should fess up and say you were given the wrong number and had intended to invite Chloe not Ben.

Tell her that Ben is welcome to come as you don’t wish to disappoint him but to be aware that he’ll be the only boy there.

In those circs, Ben would probably rather not go and you’ve given them the option to back out graciously.

Otherwise the mum will realise you cocked up on the day of the party when Ben is the only lad there, and she’ll also think you’re a bit of a twat for not owning up to the mistake!

Admittedly I hadn’t considered the angle that perhaps the boy wouldn’t want to go in the circumstances… I’m jumping onto the fence now maybe.

What weird system is this? Is class rep a paid role to deal with all this admin? A whole class WhatsApp would solve this issue because you'd just have all the parents numbers.

Anyway, I'd just explain to the mum that there's been a mix up, I'm sure she'll be fine. I've got a DS who would hate to be the only boy and it would be pretty obvious when we got there that it was a mistake which is even more awkward than just messaging.

OP, I know this has put you in a tricky spot but I agree with you and others, that you can't uninvite the poor boy. Hopefully someone says they can't attend, so it opens up a spot for the child your daughter wants to invite. Has everyone responded to the invite?

I don't think there's any need to let the mum know that he's the only boy from class as he won't be the only boy at the party. If he doesn't attend won't the family friend be the only boy at the party, were you going to let his mum know this?

If all invited have accepted, and more kids cannot be invited due to capacity, you cannot un-invite the boy.

If you can afford soft play for 10 you can make some savings somewhere and pay for 11 . It's what £20? You can't uninvite a child

Both of my DS have been the only boys at Infant school parties ( ages 4-7). Definitely not accidently invited and didn't mind at all. I wouldn't have thought it odd.

You don't need to be conscious of anything or make out like it's awkward.

You've invited him and he's accepted.

If it's a hard limit then you need to ask the family friend to step back as a favour to you to help ypu get out of a tight spot.

I don't think you can uninvited the boy or let DD have a party wothout her best friend when they all go to the same school, so it has to be the family friend if you can't pay extra.

How old are these children ? I’d just give the boys mum a heads up that he will be the only boy from school and is that ok for him. You don’t even need to say it was a mistake then as it could be that you invited 2 or 3 boys and the others cannot come .

How much to invite one extra?

How much can it possibly be per child, that you can afford 10 but not 11? 🤔

How can one extra child at a party be "so expensive"? Just cut back on something else next month. Borrow 20 quid from a grandparent or something.

If you really simply cannot afford to pay for a single child who was invited by accident, maybe rethink holding a party in first place.

I didn’t want to do that as she can’t invite all in the class and others would likely see and be left out. It all seems to be done via WhatsApp

I would message and give the other mum the option - I'm surprised so many people think you can't uninvite - my son would not have wanted to go to a party -

I think explaining to the mum that there was a mix-up - and that you had only intended to invite girls (all other guests are girls), if he still wants to go, you are happy for him to but - you want to be transparent.

If I got that message I would check with my son, but more than likely mine would have been relieved as he would have been uncomfortable with the all girl party

Yes I would do this.

Be honest and say it’s an all girls party and you royally messed up but your DD would be happy for him to still come but you thought you’d give her a heads up now so he can make a choice if he wants to go.