Invited the wrong child by mistake

[Oopsididitnotagain]

What to do-if anything?

Dd is having a party at a play place, ten children including herself, allowed. It was hard for her to narrow down her invites as she likes so many in the class and also has family friends to include.
I asked the class representative to please send me a list of the children & parents names & numbers. I made a group invite and sent via WhatsApp. One mum has replied to say her child can come-a boy Dd likes, but isn’t particularly close to, all the other children are girls, aside from one family friend, another boy. It was obviously a mixed up number, I thought I was sending the invite to one of her best friends.

Dd is disappointed and I think the mum was a little surprised too 🫣

Would you do anything?

😂

I would find the money for one extra, even if this meant baked beans for a week. You can’t uninvite the boy.

Not everyone will accept the invitation, so you should have enough money for one more.

Mistakes happen - I think in this instance I would just suck up the cost of adding one more on to the party and inviting the child your daughter wants.

We’ve done similar before in making a mistake with a person that was invited - my son gave me a name and I hunted down the mum to invite the child - he turned up and it wasn’t the kid my son thought it was going to be 😂😂

If it was someone my child wasn't particularly friends with I would understand it was a mistake. I'm very surprised that the class rep was allowed to give you names & phone numbers of the parents though

I once had the mum of the party boy open his presents for him whilst the party was ongoing. She was a bit weird to be fair. As if to judge if we had given a decent present.

Ha I did this! We had only been at the school a year - son is summer born so party at the end of the year. It was going to be all the boys in class so I asked the teacher for the class list (you voluntarily put your contact details on). I went over it with my son (he was about 9 or 10) and he said that he didn’t recognise one name. I thought maybe quiet boy and I didn’t want to leave anyone out, so asked him anyway (my son said ok). So party rolls around and this boy arrives and my son says to me ‘never met him in my life’. The mum comes up to me and says ‘thank you so much for inviting Nick! He hasn’t made many friends at his new school so nice to see his old friends’. So he had left the school but was still on the list! I mean it was fine my son didn’t mind it was an outdoor activity thing and one more didn’t really add to the cost but it was so funny that she accepted knowing that her son had never met mine.
In your case I’d try to squeeze the missed out frond in (no need to add another for this boy).

Oh that’s awful. Cringy.

Don’t invite him. That would be unkind. Let him come.

If at all possible I’d give the child your DD meant to invite an extra invitation and find the money to include one extra child.

It would be horribly rude to uninvite a child.

Oh just tell the mum you are only inviting girls and there was a mix up with the phone numbers. The mum will probably be glad, 1 less party to waste her afternoon at and 1 less gift to buy! I have 5 and 8 year old boys, they wouldnt be happy if they got to a party and it was only girls from the class there, I actually pulled out of a party recently when no other boys were going (at my 8 year old's request).

i mean you could say, sorry it was a mistake and if you dont want to come you will understand

It can't be that expensive to add one more child. This is your mistake so you need to suck it up. It would be so rude to withdraw the invitation now.

How about giving the boy's mum a choice? Admit the mistake, say DD likes him and is fine with him coming if he wants to but you're aware he may not want to if it's only girls from school other than him. That way a) he's not going to be embarrassed coming to a party with all girls (some boys would mind, others wouldn't) and b) you may free up a space.

Talk to the parents of the boy you accidentally invited. He might not want to come once he finds out he’s the only boy.

You can’t uninvite him, did you not see the whole thread on here a short while ago where the birthday girls mum uninvited a couple of children because they had too many…
It created a lot of ill feeling and even more pulled out of the party, which isn’t a big surprise as it’s totally rude to uninvite someone.
I would however invite the extra person that got missed, someone will end up not coming due to something and if they don’t it’s only one extra to pay for. My son had a soft play party and was allowed to invite 16 as part of the party package. We had a few extras turn up (siblings) that I hadn’t expected and their parents agreed to pay for them in addition.
Its always risky asking someone else for contact information, we knew the parents by sight for most of the children so I handed the invitation directly to the parents before the kids were let out.
The couple of children I didn’t know I asked the teacher to pop it into the bookbags.

Not everyone is as funny about playing with kids of the opposite sex as you and your family though. If she’s already told her son and he’s excited it’d be very rude to uninvite him. Plus he won’t be the only boy, he might not know the other boy but there will be another one there.

Send the mum a message explaining you sent the invitation by accident and it’s a girls only party. Say he’s still more than welcome to come but will he mind being the only boy.
Chances are she will pull out and no one’s feelings get hurt.

Do not uninvite the boy! You have one other boy going who is a family friend so he may be glad of the company. Either find the money to invite an extra guest, hope someone can't make it or plan something special with the left out friend. Maybe also contact the class rep and say there was a mistake in the list you received?

Another vote for a) hoping someone can’t make it so the missed out child can come.
b) changing plans for either family friends/cousins etc that are likely to be more understanding
c) suck it up and pay the extra
i would not uninvite someone. Thats a crappy thing to do.

I don't think you can uninvite him either but you could give his mother the opportunity to duck out.

Maybe have parties not limited by numbers and cost next time, or have a better way of contacting parents.

You'd need to be very tactful.

Take the left out best friend on a special outing with your DD afterwards. You need to talk to the BF's parents to let them know there was a mixup.

Or you need to have a different event for the family friends. Inviting two sets of kids who don't know each other can make for a weird party regardless of the boy situation.

why does he need another boy??

I would txt her and explain its a mix up with numbers and all the other invites are girls. That you're really sorry and could you take DD and her son out on a playdaye somewhere nice on a separate day as it was an all girls thing.

I'd explain to the mum, and say that of course he is still welcome, as you wouldn't dream of uninviting him, but she might like to be warned that he'll be the only boy from the class. It's possible that if she tells him "by the way, none of the other boys are going", he'll be less keen to go, and your problem might be solved. (He doesn't need to know he was invited by accident, just that he's the only boy.)