To "allow" my husband a summer off?

[HolyHannah]

DH was made redundant last month. He has just been offered another job, same salary as previous job (high).

He got a decent payout from the redundancy and we also have some savings. New job has asked when he can start. They don't know he was made redundant.

I suggested that he asks to start in September, i.e. after the summer holidays. And he loves this idea. My thinking was that he will never get an opportunity to spend a full 6 weeks with the kids again and the one thing money can't buy you, is time.

New job are fine with this, they expected a 3 month notice period so this is actually better than they expected.

We've mentioned it to a few people who have said I shouldn't "allow" it (I don't allow or disallow anything in our relationship, we make joint decisions like reasonable adults!). Their reasons are, amongst other:

• the cost, it'll cost us approx £8k.
• it's not fair because I'll still have to work
• the company might offer the job to someone else
• he may decide he likes being a sahp
• when will I get 6 weeks off work

I don't understand this. Am I missing something?

The £8k is not an unsubstantial amount of money, but it is money we wouldn't have had anyway if he hadn't been made redundant, and overall were financially better off as we've saved some of his redundancy as well.

so his salary for the 6 weeks would be 8k? in which case I'd assume you have enough income in savings to cover it. save the childcare bill and let him and the kids enjoy it. maybe at some point you could ask work about taking some unpaid leave and doing similar. he isn't going to give up a salary like that, so I wouldn't worry.

Allow ... Tell them your husband isn't going to allow you to buy any new clothes, ever and see their reaction

A couple of months holiday and quality time as a family... some people are just jealous

Oh god. Yes do it. Kids are little for about 10 minutes once you are older. He will get a great bond with them, you will get all of the benefits of living with a sahp (what a dream!)
Literally nothing better than time. Life is ridiculously short..

It’s a fantastic idea - definitely do it. Other people don’t know what they’re talking about.

At 10 I would have loved it as out all day anyway with friends but this doesn't happen much and 6 weeks in front of a screen is not good for anyone.

What % of your mortgage and bills are these people with such strong opinions on your life going to pay? 🤔

I'm assuming you told your mum and sister what they can do with their relationship with you and your family if they have such archaic attitudes?

"Hey mum I can't believe dad allows you to choose your own lunch because he pays the bills". That'll shut her up

Screw those people. I hope your DH and the kids have a fantastic summer.

You won’t get this opportunity again and money isn’t everything. Go on a lovely family holiday and cherish this time.

What great timing. Ignore the jealous haters and crack on with your plans.

Make sure you agree with your DH that childcare, housework and chores needs to be weighted towards him whilst he is between jobs.

Fucks sake. Ignore them. Let him enjoy his summer holidays. By the end he will be glad to go back to work 😂

His salary for the 2 months he'll be off (because he couldn't realistically start next week) will be £10k, but we'll save roughly £1500 in childcare.

We don't have as much in savings as you might think due to a few recent life events, but with his redundancy pay we do now have reasonable savings.

I 'allowed' myself the summer off when my dc were at primary school and I was made redundant. It was the BEST SUMMER and I would 100% do it again. Enjoy your family :)

Ideal, perfect for your DH to have a summer off with the DC

I’d love this - all summer holiday childcare solved in 1 go - that’s almost worth the 8k!!!! Definitely do it if I were in your shoes

Whaaaat??? This is a brilliant idea! No having to faff around with childcare during the holidays, great for both the children and dad, and a job lined up so it’s not exactly like he’s sitting around with his finger up his bum is it? I thought this was going to be a “husband wants to have the summer off before he starts to look for a new job while my salary doesn’t cover the mortgage” post. You can afford it, it doesn’t happen everyday and personally I’d be looking at the value of him taking the time off more than the cost.

Fantastic idea, DH sounds like a great dad, you sound like a great wife, and the two of you sound like a great team! Have a fab summer!

I think that’s a fantastic idea. My DH retired from the police after 30 years in May last year and started a new job with the civil service in August, so had all summer off. He thoroughly deserved it with working shifts and unsociable hours and it did him the world of good.

Why do you even give a fuck what people outside your relationship and have no bearing on your lives or finances think?

Hopefully the OP's kids aren't that spoilt that they'd massively resent their dad being in his own home.

Bless

What a lovely idea, go for it! A lovely summer for the whole family, and you will benefit as all childcare is sorted for summer. Kids bonding with Dad over summer sounds a absolutely wonderful.

Also, you have weird friends.

Frankly who gives a flying fuck what they think! It’s a great idea, do it.

dh did this a few years ago. His job ended in June and he started a new one end of August so we only had to find 1 week of childcare for 8 year old DC. He loved it and so did DC. He needed the break after leaving an awful job and grafting to find a new one. Enjoy your summer!

Six weeks off?? If the new job was expecting a three-month notice period then hell, he should take the three months! How often does an opportunity like that come along? Three months of no money worries and a job to go to. Wow. He should take that golden opportunity to have some work-life balance.