To "allow" my husband a summer off?

[HolyHannah]

DH was made redundant last month. He has just been offered another job, same salary as previous job (high).

He got a decent payout from the redundancy and we also have some savings. New job has asked when he can start. They don't know he was made redundant.

I suggested that he asks to start in September, i.e. after the summer holidays. And he loves this idea. My thinking was that he will never get an opportunity to spend a full 6 weeks with the kids again and the one thing money can't buy you, is time.

New job are fine with this, they expected a 3 month notice period so this is actually better than they expected.

We've mentioned it to a few people who have said I shouldn't "allow" it (I don't allow or disallow anything in our relationship, we make joint decisions like reasonable adults!). Their reasons are, amongst other:

• the cost, it'll cost us approx £8k.
• it's not fair because I'll still have to work
• the company might offer the job to someone else
• he may decide he likes being a sahp
• when will I get 6 weeks off work

I don't understand this. Am I missing something?

The £8k is not an unsubstantial amount of money, but it is money we wouldn't have had anyway if he hadn't been made redundant, and overall were financially better off as we've saved some of his redundancy as well.

Sounds glorious, having someone else as the default parent for 2 months while you get to go out to work.

I would absolutely 'allow' my husband this. Only I wouldn't as he'd never chose this unfortunately

I think it's fine and it's lovely for him to spend some time with the kids - hopefully you'll come home from work to a nice clean house, laundry done and a hot meal on the table too 🤞

My DH took a 6 month sabbatical (ended up being about 4 months in the end as he did some part time stuff in the end. He was burnt out from the constant pressure of an intensive few years at work and he really needed it. It meant he could do the school runs and did a few school trips with the kids too. It did him the world of good and we've not regretted it.

OP I don’t know why but people can be so weird about dads wanting to spend time with their small children and arranging work with that in mind. My DH has worked compressed hours since DD was born (after paternity and annual leave ran out) because his job facilitates it and he wanted to spend time with her, but when I went back to work that wasn’t an option for me. He is about to change his shifts again to work around school pick up. The comments I’ve had about how that’s not fair and he should work MORE so I could go part time etc etc blew my mind. I think sometimes it’s just jealousy because many women have children with men who find any excuse to be out the house.

You are "losing" 8k minus whatever the summer childcare would have cost if you were both working
If you can afford it he should definitely do it imo

People are weird. My DH is leaving teaching this year after 30 years - he’s had enough. He’s got a pension and has wangled a settlement so we’re going to be fine. He’s younger than me and I’m carrying on teaching. Lots of people asking me how I feel about it and saying it’s not fair. I love my job and I am happy to carry on. We’re a unit and support each other. I think it’s a great plan for your family.

I am taking redundancy as my current role is no longer wanted. Bu I don’t want to change to day work. I plan on not even looking for a job in July as it’s a busy month for us. With the pay out we will be fine for 4/5 months. So not in any rush.
If you can afford it why would you not? It will be great for the kids and your husband.

Money can buy time if you can afford to retire early .

At the very end if the line when he is looking down that tunnel of light when those wo called friends are long gone from his life, which one is he going to regret not choosing.

No one would choose work. And the kids will talk long into their adult lives about the Summer of 26 being the best ever.

Taking this time off will make the kids happy, your DH happy and you happy. And that is all that matters.

Sounds fine. Stop discussing your personal business with opinionated people.

Time kills all deals a lot can happen between now and September within a business. Personally I would be keen to start straight away. In case they pull the offer.

Seriously? People think ‘because you’ll still have to work’ and ‘when will you get 6?weeks off’ are reasons?
Find new friends. Yours are weird.

What a great opportunity for your family OP. Don’t listen to a word of people doubting it.

Great shout.
what is wrong with people.
the children will love it.
you’ll save on childcare ?

So you save on childcare, he gets a summer of quality time with his kids, a break from work to refresh, and you get a summer with more time to focus on you as the childcare is sorted? Sounds like a great idea! If there are any concerns about him not wanting to go back to work, and you need him to financially for your family, just make sure you are on the same page. Otherwise it seems like a great set up. Its only a couple of months. I think some of your friends are jealous!

100% do it. Both you and your DH want it so all good. Nobody else's business what you two want.

Screams of jealousy.

Enjoy!!

It's a great idea and presumably you are saving childcare costs by having DH around all the time.

High paid jobs often come with long hours and possibly stress. A summer off with the kids recharging his batteries sounds just right.

Ignore these people, have a great summer and try get some time off yourself.

if the new employer are happy to wait till September and your happy and he is happy and not to mention the kids being happy with daddy at home for the holidays what is there to loose!

The £8k loss takes in to account the childcare savings and accounts for money set aside for day trips and stuff he plans to do them.

We do have a weeks family holiday together in August but sadly that's all the time off I can have, though I do only work 4 days.

when your on your death bed, more time with family or more time in the office ?

Do what you fuckin’ want, and ask yourself why you’re listening to these people who are clearly stupid, and seeking advice strangers on the internet on a forum that is notorious for being totally mental. Your decision, whatever it is, is valid and doesn’t need justifying!

I just wouldn't mention it others if they response like that, none of their business. You do what is right for your family!

He should get a tax rebate if he has no income for six weeks.

But that wouldn't be time with our children, who will be late teens even if we retire early.

Sounds good to me, and it may “cost” less than that if he’s a higher tax payer it will mean his allowance isn’t used for that period