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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to end things immediately?

191 replies

MinnyMeen · 29/06/2026 18:05

Posting really for verification I wasn’t unreasonable in ending the relationship.

Met a man on a night out. Both mid forties. Exchanged numbers and spoke for around 3 months before we actually met for a date. Been dating for 5 months. I made it clear from day one that I wanted to take it slow as I have dc. He has no dc.

This past weekend we had a whole weekend date planned. I was staying at his from Friday-Sunday. Arrived around 8pm Friday night after work. We walked into town for dinner and on the way he went into the newsagents to grab a drink. I waited outside and as I waited a man was walking across the road (high street road not a main road) with a little puppy. I asked him I could stroke the puppy and we spoke for a couple of minutes about the breed and the puppy was giving me lots of cuddles. I have a dog and am a dog person. Not that it’s relevant but the gentleman was probably in his 70s and told me he got the puppy as his wife recently died and he’s retired so he wanted company. The whole conversation lasted a couple of minutes.

Partner comes out of the shop and has a face like thunder. Whilst I was still bent over stroking the puppy he tells me to get up and go. I say goodbye to the puppy and carried on walking with him. He’s now giving me the silent treatment and walking way ahead of me. I ask what’s wrong as I was genuinely confused and he said that I have no manners, I crossed over the road to stroke the puppy, I was on a date with him and that he needed attention too. Said I should’ve communicated to him that I was not going to be outside the shop and that I can’t just wander off. I literally walked about 6 steps to cross over the road and was right opposite the shop. He could see me at all times.

I told him I wasn’t hungry anymore and that I wanted to go back to his. As soon as we got back, I grabbed my things and left. He blew up my phone the entire way home but I didn’t answer. I text as soon as I got home and told him it was over. He’s been messaging so much since telling me that I’m out of order, I’m flakey, I don’t know how to have a relationship. I’ve now had to block him but he got another sim and messaged me from that. He said I gave up too easily and am making a mountain out of a molehill.

Was I right to end it there and then?

OP posts:
Legolaslady · 29/06/2026 18:07

Of course

Shoxfordian · 29/06/2026 18:07

He definitely showed you who he is, believe it - block all numbers and run

50NotFat · 29/06/2026 18:08

You did the right thing. If he keeps messaging tell him you’ll contact the police. Block him again and call police if he finds another way. If he’s behaving like that already he’ll only get worse.

Lmnop22 · 29/06/2026 18:08

Jesus you got out just in time - good for you!

BoxOfCats · 29/06/2026 18:08

YANBU. He’s a controlling prick.

GoldenPineapple15 · 29/06/2026 18:09

Oh wow, you did exactly the right thing. Run and block .

GreenWheat · 29/06/2026 18:10

You don't need any more evidence, you have already seen who he is. What an awful man.

Error404FucksNotFound · 29/06/2026 18:10

Yes.
And his reaction is further confirmation

TeflonBoot · 29/06/2026 18:10

Good for you for recognising controlling behaviour and acting quickly. Don't doubt yourself, you have done the right thing.

BobbysDazzler · 29/06/2026 18:11

110% correct.

He sounds like one of my exs who when I saw his true colours (sadly took me a fair bit longer than 5months) I was horrified at what I actually saw. He said things like that but was in fact seeing MANY other women (despite me virtually living with him by then) and it turned out his 'work phone' (that he started hounding me from when I blocked him) was actually his shag phone!! Took me a bit or time to find out the truth after we parted (I became a true Miss Marple!) but thank god I got out when I did.

Sounds like you got an early warning - be grateful and move on x

GreenFootstool · 29/06/2026 18:11

Tell him to stop contacting you or you'll report to the police.

If he continues to contact you MAKE THE REPORT. You can do it online and include some screenshot of messages / call logs etc.

Please tell someone close to you what's happening.

Does he know your address? I'm guessing he will from the timelines. I'd make sure your phone is fully charged, doors and windows secure just in case he makes an appearance.

PetulaGordeno · 29/06/2026 18:12

You must be really shaken after all that.
What a nasty piece of work. Losing his marbles over an old man and his puppy.
Thank God you took yourself home.
Well done for recognising a red flag flying high and protecting yourself.
Keep blocking and grey rocking.

AgentPidge · 29/06/2026 18:12

Ugh! Well done for chucking that one back!

Bigtrapeze · 29/06/2026 18:12

OP, you have done exactly the right thing. So sorry your weekend worked out like this. Can you imagine what life would be like if you accepted this?

Just out of interest, what did he say the problem was? I am properly baffled by this reaction.

MJagain · 29/06/2026 18:12

TeflonBoot · 29/06/2026 18:10

Good for you for recognising controlling behaviour and acting quickly. Don't doubt yourself, you have done the right thing.

This.

If more women reacted to reg flags appropriately, half the tragic threads in here wouldn’t need to exists.

Bridgertonisbest · 29/06/2026 18:13

Even if, by some small chance you were unreasonable to leave his straight away (which you weren’t) his behaviour since shows you that you really dodged a bullet there.

ThatCyanCat · 29/06/2026 18:13

You have to ask??

JabbaTheBeachHut · 29/06/2026 18:13

You shouldn't need ask this or get it verified.

CuriousKangaroo · 29/06/2026 18:16

Well done for walking away at the first sign of a red flag. His reaction afterwards proves you did the right thing.

Scoobydoobydoo19 · 29/06/2026 18:17

You've not just dodged a bullet, you've dodged the whole artillery! 😯

PancakeCloud · 29/06/2026 18:17

Yes. End it. Awful behaviour.

JustMerelyHere · 29/06/2026 18:19

You made the right choice and he later proved you right. The puppy sounds lovely though, hopefully you can see the puppy again!

Currently 100% voted YANBU and I expect it'll stay pretty close to that!

labradormam · 29/06/2026 18:19

Love your boundaries and decisiveness.

Very much well done.

No pleasant / normal / well adjusted man would behave like that.

Youve dodged a bullet.

Loulou4022 · 29/06/2026 18:20

He’s got in a strop about you giving a puppy attention! Massive red flags! Run for the hills and then keep running!!

JoyousWriter · 29/06/2026 18:22

Ooo, what a silly twat!