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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to end things immediately?

191 replies

MinnyMeen · 29/06/2026 18:05

Posting really for verification I wasn’t unreasonable in ending the relationship.

Met a man on a night out. Both mid forties. Exchanged numbers and spoke for around 3 months before we actually met for a date. Been dating for 5 months. I made it clear from day one that I wanted to take it slow as I have dc. He has no dc.

This past weekend we had a whole weekend date planned. I was staying at his from Friday-Sunday. Arrived around 8pm Friday night after work. We walked into town for dinner and on the way he went into the newsagents to grab a drink. I waited outside and as I waited a man was walking across the road (high street road not a main road) with a little puppy. I asked him I could stroke the puppy and we spoke for a couple of minutes about the breed and the puppy was giving me lots of cuddles. I have a dog and am a dog person. Not that it’s relevant but the gentleman was probably in his 70s and told me he got the puppy as his wife recently died and he’s retired so he wanted company. The whole conversation lasted a couple of minutes.

Partner comes out of the shop and has a face like thunder. Whilst I was still bent over stroking the puppy he tells me to get up and go. I say goodbye to the puppy and carried on walking with him. He’s now giving me the silent treatment and walking way ahead of me. I ask what’s wrong as I was genuinely confused and he said that I have no manners, I crossed over the road to stroke the puppy, I was on a date with him and that he needed attention too. Said I should’ve communicated to him that I was not going to be outside the shop and that I can’t just wander off. I literally walked about 6 steps to cross over the road and was right opposite the shop. He could see me at all times.

I told him I wasn’t hungry anymore and that I wanted to go back to his. As soon as we got back, I grabbed my things and left. He blew up my phone the entire way home but I didn’t answer. I text as soon as I got home and told him it was over. He’s been messaging so much since telling me that I’m out of order, I’m flakey, I don’t know how to have a relationship. I’ve now had to block him but he got another sim and messaged me from that. He said I gave up too easily and am making a mountain out of a molehill.

Was I right to end it there and then?

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 29/06/2026 18:23

Shoxfordian · 29/06/2026 18:07

He definitely showed you who he is, believe it - block all numbers and run

This. Yet another controlling weirdo. I hope he doesn't know where you live OP.

MegJoBethandAmytoo · 29/06/2026 18:25

Well done for actually leaving. Block him on everything. He sounds awful.

PetulaGordeno · 29/06/2026 18:26

Loulou4022 · 29/06/2026 18:20

He’s got in a strop about you giving a puppy attention! Massive red flags! Run for the hills and then keep running!!

I can remember doing some extra bar work in my late 20’s on top of my day job.
I worked in a village real ale pub, average age of the client was about 80.
One lovely man had lost his wife. He had his own allotment and every Friday would bring in loads of fresh produce, joking that his ladies behind the bar needed more fresh fruit and veg.
I loved talking to him. He’d been in the RAF during WW2. He brought in photo albums of his wife and I’d sit on my break and ask all about her.
Then my boyfriend of 8 years walked in one day and said he was going to knock him
out. That he was giving me fruit to try and get into my knickers.
I was asked to leave by the manager and was so upset. Everyone in the pub was shaken up, it was such a quiet place.
These idiots are everywhere. Can’t accept that a man and woman can have a pleasant chat.

takealettermsjones · 29/06/2026 18:26

Dodged a bullet girl!

I mean quite apart from the disturbing stalkerishness, how deeply unattractive to get jealous over an old man and a puppy!

StarDolphins · 29/06/2026 18:28

Back in the bin mard arse

Mosaic80 · 29/06/2026 18:29

YAB very very reasonable. Well done for cutting and running right then. Thank god he showed his true colours quickly.

CaptainMyCaptain · 29/06/2026 18:29

You absolutely did the right thing.

Who are the 3% saying YABU ffs?

GreenWheat · 29/06/2026 18:29

He is angry that you didn't either apologise profusely on the spot or be annoyed and then come back begging his forgiveness . You have made it impossible for him to have his way by putting your boundary down immediately. Good on you.

hugasaurus · 29/06/2026 18:29

Well done, OP. Can only assume the YABU votes are either misclicks or your ex.

1985goingbackagain · 29/06/2026 18:30

A benefit of dating in your 40’s has to be that you know better than putting up with the shit you did in your 20’s. Well done for walking away, do not waste any more time on this one.

Boopeedoop · 29/06/2026 18:31

If he is jealous of a random puppy after 2 mins, imagine what he would be like around your children!

bittertwisted · 29/06/2026 18:31

Yep, I’ve spent my whole adult life placating and begging forgiveness in situations like this. I am very impressed, you have strong boundaries and you have done exactly the right thing

LandSsmum · 29/06/2026 18:31

So many red flags. Well done OP

takealettermsjones · 29/06/2026 18:32

StarDolphins · 29/06/2026 18:28

Back in the bin mard arse

This is my absolute favourite comment of 2026 so far, thank you 🤣

CoffeeBooksRats · 29/06/2026 18:33

You have absolutely done the right thing, and good on you for grabbing your stuff and getting out of there.

Floppyearedlab · 29/06/2026 18:34

Block him and get a puppy!
Less needy (and I have had a puppy!)

pepayfelix · 29/06/2026 18:35

You did absolutely the right thing. What a psycho!

Happyjoe · 29/06/2026 18:36

Ohh, well done in listening to your senses straight away. You did the right thing, my goodness, that's a big 'phew' here.

palran · 29/06/2026 18:37

Good for you. Can I ask if you had noticed anything "off" about him up to this episode, or was he love bombing you while writing the "script" in the background?

I admire you so much. I'm at an age now where no one would dare speak to me like that, and if they did my reaction would be exactly the same as yours. Why not? How bloody dare this sort of man treat a woman/his girlfriend like that. Asshole.

Iloveacurry · 29/06/2026 18:39

You’ve done the right thing!

WhatcakeshalIbaketoday · 29/06/2026 18:42

He’s the one making a mountain out of a molehill. Fancy getting jealous of a puppy, muppet!

firstofallimadelight · 29/06/2026 18:44

Hopefully he will get bored when he gets no response and leave you be. If not report to police. Looks like you have had a lucky escape. Well done for standing up for yourself. It’s not always easy

AhhhSchtop · 29/06/2026 18:46

Well done for calling it off promptly. This type of controlling prick only ever gets worse.

Girlwithavibe · 29/06/2026 18:51

Validation verified!!!
That's crazy u was cuddling a puppy jesus !!
That's insane good on u x

MinnyMeen · 29/06/2026 18:51

Thank you so much everyone. I was in a horribly abusive relationship previously (father of my dc) and it took me a long time to leave. I divorced in 2020 and he’s the first person I’ve dated since. I’ve worked on my boundaries but there is still a small part of me that second guesses and wonders if I overreacted due to my past trauma. I’m also a classic overthinker

OP posts: