AIBU to end things immediately?

[MinnyMeen]

Posting really for verification I wasn’t unreasonable in ending the relationship.

Met a man on a night out. Both mid forties. Exchanged numbers and spoke for around 3 months before we actually met for a date. Been dating for 5 months. I made it clear from day one that I wanted to take it slow as I have dc. He has no dc.

This past weekend we had a whole weekend date planned. I was staying at his from Friday-Sunday. Arrived around 8pm Friday night after work. We walked into town for dinner and on the way he went into the newsagents to grab a drink. I waited outside and as I waited a man was walking across the road (high street road not a main road) with a little puppy. I asked him I could stroke the puppy and we spoke for a couple of minutes about the breed and the puppy was giving me lots of cuddles. I have a dog and am a dog person. Not that it’s relevant but the gentleman was probably in his 70s and told me he got the puppy as his wife recently died and he’s retired so he wanted company. The whole conversation lasted a couple of minutes.

Partner comes out of the shop and has a face like thunder. Whilst I was still bent over stroking the puppy he tells me to get up and go. I say goodbye to the puppy and carried on walking with him. He’s now giving me the silent treatment and walking way ahead of me. I ask what’s wrong as I was genuinely confused and he said that I have no manners, I crossed over the road to stroke the puppy, I was on a date with him and that he needed attention too. Said I should’ve communicated to him that I was not going to be outside the shop and that I can’t just wander off. I literally walked about 6 steps to cross over the road and was right opposite the shop. He could see me at all times.

I told him I wasn’t hungry anymore and that I wanted to go back to his. As soon as we got back, I grabbed my things and left. He blew up my phone the entire way home but I didn’t answer. I text as soon as I got home and told him it was over. He’s been messaging so much since telling me that I’m out of order, I’m flakey, I don’t know how to have a relationship. I’ve now had to block him but he got another sim and messaged me from that. He said I gave up too easily and am making a mountain out of a molehill.

Was I right to end it there and then?

U did amazing 🤩 big hugs

You did good OP 👍

No. You haven’t overreacted at all.

This is a grown man who is jealous of two minutes attention to a puppy. Pathetic.

Controlling
'Needs attention '

Pathetic. What a prick. At best he's a man child, at worst, he's emotionally abusive. Either way, not exactly the catch of the century. Ditch him.

There have been times when he’s pushed the boundaries and tried to love bomb. I pulled him up on it every time and he always backed off and respected my boundaries. Or so I thought. Starting to think that it was a front and the masked slipped and he couldn’t keep it up anymore. The look on his face when he spoke to me is what really did it to me. He looked really angry and I’ve never seen that side of him before. He’s quite mild mannered usually.

100% did the right thing. Well done for recognising this and not wasting your time on this fool. Very pleasing to read this on here! 👏👏

I’m so sorry you had to go through that x

Imagine being so controlling and needy that you get jealous of a puppy! I know you’re probably sad that he turned out like this, but you’ve had a lucky escape. You “gave up too easily” is a really weird phrase for dating, thank goodness you won’t find out what happens to women who try to stick it out with him

I know that just blocking is the best but fuck me, him accusing you of making a mountain out of a molehill when this is his reaction to a puppy being stroked takes the absolute (dog) biscuit.

he is a complete fucking loon, and I wish we could safely let him know.

You did fantastic so congratulations on doing 100% the right thing.

It is a really weird phrase isn’t it- basically it means your standards are too high for me, you’re a bitch if you don’t lower them.

Yes. He's mad.

Run.

Well done, OP. You did exactly the right thing. If this is how he reacts to a puppy, I wouldn’t want him anywhere near children or pets.

Well done, i wish more women were like you

You're making a mountain out of a molehill??

These men. They do love to project.

I suggest that next time you don’t think of someone as your partner when you’ve only been dating for 5 months

I am sad but not in a heartbroken, what am I doing to do without him way. I’ve know him a total of 8 months. I was fond of him and thought that things were going well but I don’t think I was in love with him. I’ll be honest, I enjoyed the company and the fact that he made me feel beautiful and like a women again. My marriage was very unhappy for a lot of years before I left so the attention he gave at the beginning was nice. I just know I can’t ever put myself in a situation that would put my dc, or me, at risk. I value peace over anything else.

Well done OP you absolutely did the right thing! It’s so easy to talk yourself round after something like this with “maybe he was having a bad day” or “maybe he is right and I was being rude” and then the boundary pushing gets worse, the incidents get worse and before you know it you’re back in an abusive relationship again. They say the universe will keep sending you the same lesson until you finally learn it. His reaction to you leaving says it all. Hopefully he leaves you alone now.

Im glad you confirmed you left right there and then!

YADNBU

Run dont walk, block and dont look back!

He wasn’t really a partner that was more for ease of explanation and for want of a better word. We were seeing each other exclusively and saw each other at least twice a week but we didn’t live together and my dc had never met him or even know I’m dating anyone

Well done op for leaving there and then.

Jealous of a puppy?? What a weirdo 🤣

Well done for being so strong and decisive!

Lucky he showed his true colours so quickly and clearly.

Well done OP. That sounds potentially very dangerous indeed and I am glad you are rid.

A Clare's Law application would be very telling, I am sure.

If he persists in contacting you, don't hesitate to contact the police.

At least you now know before getting heavily involved

what a fucking arsehole he was

Controlling lunatic! Jealous of a puppy!

He's completely mad. You did everything right and I'm glad you posted here so others see a sensible response to a controlling whack job