AIBU to end things immediately?

[MinnyMeen]

Posting really for verification I wasn’t unreasonable in ending the relationship.

Met a man on a night out. Both mid forties. Exchanged numbers and spoke for around 3 months before we actually met for a date. Been dating for 5 months. I made it clear from day one that I wanted to take it slow as I have dc. He has no dc.

This past weekend we had a whole weekend date planned. I was staying at his from Friday-Sunday. Arrived around 8pm Friday night after work. We walked into town for dinner and on the way he went into the newsagents to grab a drink. I waited outside and as I waited a man was walking across the road (high street road not a main road) with a little puppy. I asked him I could stroke the puppy and we spoke for a couple of minutes about the breed and the puppy was giving me lots of cuddles. I have a dog and am a dog person. Not that it’s relevant but the gentleman was probably in his 70s and told me he got the puppy as his wife recently died and he’s retired so he wanted company. The whole conversation lasted a couple of minutes.

Partner comes out of the shop and has a face like thunder. Whilst I was still bent over stroking the puppy he tells me to get up and go. I say goodbye to the puppy and carried on walking with him. He’s now giving me the silent treatment and walking way ahead of me. I ask what’s wrong as I was genuinely confused and he said that I have no manners, I crossed over the road to stroke the puppy, I was on a date with him and that he needed attention too. Said I should’ve communicated to him that I was not going to be outside the shop and that I can’t just wander off. I literally walked about 6 steps to cross over the road and was right opposite the shop. He could see me at all times.

I told him I wasn’t hungry anymore and that I wanted to go back to his. As soon as we got back, I grabbed my things and left. He blew up my phone the entire way home but I didn’t answer. I text as soon as I got home and told him it was over. He’s been messaging so much since telling me that I’m out of order, I’m flakey, I don’t know how to have a relationship. I’ve now had to block him but he got another sim and messaged me from that. He said I gave up too easily and am making a mountain out of a molehill.

Was I right to end it there and then?

Lucky escape!

You did the right thing. He sounds utterly unhinged. Agree with someone else who said report him if he doesn't stop contacting you.

Just another person here to say god, it is so fucking nice to see a woman recognise a major red flag and without delay or apology do a hard exit and not look back.

Well done!!

Yes.

You were bang on.

And even if youre as unreasonable as he says.. well he should be grateful youve taken yourself away from him

Just a quick update as he has been quiet for a couple of days. This afternoon, when I got back from work, my neighbour came over with a huge bunch of flowers that had been delivered for me. Also had a note saying sorry. I have taken a picture and have also got screen shots of all the messages from the different numbers. I will be logging this with the police as my last message clearly stated not to contact me again. I think he genuinely thinks he can win me back this way. I will unblock him long enough to send a message that I do not wish him to contact me ever again and that I do not want any flowers from him and that I will reporting this as harassment. Then I’ll black him again.

I wouldn't contact him again. That's what he wants. You already told him not to contact you.

Just report it to the police. Get this on record that he does shit like this.

You've been a rock star here and he has done this before.

I'm with @outerspacepotato dont contact him again and tbh I wouldn't bother with the police unless he tries to establish contact again after this. Ignoring what he'll see as a grand gesture should be enough to remind him you are no longer interested.

He has 'granted' (boak) a few days to see the 'error of your ways'.
It is vital that you get some protection for you and your children NOW during this 'respite'.
I mean it. I don't wish to scare you - well maybe a bit to get you to act but not in a malicious way- but this guy is a fucking dangerous lunatic.

@MinnyMeen do not contact him again.

You have to just ignore him.

Give the flowers to someone who would appreciate them e.g. your local old people's home!

Totally agree with others saying don’t contact him again. This is what he wants. Even if it is to say to not send any more flowers or contact you again or to say you’re reporting him to the police. He wants an ‘in’ and with men like him, any attention is good attention.

You asked him to not contact you again. He's sent you flowers. That is contact in my book. Don't contact him. That's what he wants. I would screenshot all the messages. Take a photo of the flowers and any card. Contact the police for advice/log the incidents and make a Clare's Law request.

I have taken others advice and logged everything and made a Claire’s law request. Never had to do one before so not too sure of the process. I’m not sure what the actual point in doing it is as I’m never going back to him, but so many people on here and in real life have advised me to. No contact today and very much hoping it’ll stay that way

I and others suggested it because men like this dont take being dumped well. I am sure you have seen headlines of men attacking, or worse, their ex GF's, and if he has a history of this then you need to know. Flagging up to the police that he is at it again keeps you, and other women, safe if that is his MO.

I hope you are safe x

He's a fucking fruitcake - well rid.

Good but don't let your guard down. He sounds as if he could be dangerous. All the best.
Clare's law will tell you if he's done something bad but don't be reassured if it comes back clean as it just means he's not been caught out.