AIBU to end things immediately?

[MinnyMeen]

Posting really for verification I wasn’t unreasonable in ending the relationship.

Met a man on a night out. Both mid forties. Exchanged numbers and spoke for around 3 months before we actually met for a date. Been dating for 5 months. I made it clear from day one that I wanted to take it slow as I have dc. He has no dc.

This past weekend we had a whole weekend date planned. I was staying at his from Friday-Sunday. Arrived around 8pm Friday night after work. We walked into town for dinner and on the way he went into the newsagents to grab a drink. I waited outside and as I waited a man was walking across the road (high street road not a main road) with a little puppy. I asked him I could stroke the puppy and we spoke for a couple of minutes about the breed and the puppy was giving me lots of cuddles. I have a dog and am a dog person. Not that it’s relevant but the gentleman was probably in his 70s and told me he got the puppy as his wife recently died and he’s retired so he wanted company. The whole conversation lasted a couple of minutes.

Partner comes out of the shop and has a face like thunder. Whilst I was still bent over stroking the puppy he tells me to get up and go. I say goodbye to the puppy and carried on walking with him. He’s now giving me the silent treatment and walking way ahead of me. I ask what’s wrong as I was genuinely confused and he said that I have no manners, I crossed over the road to stroke the puppy, I was on a date with him and that he needed attention too. Said I should’ve communicated to him that I was not going to be outside the shop and that I can’t just wander off. I literally walked about 6 steps to cross over the road and was right opposite the shop. He could see me at all times.

I told him I wasn’t hungry anymore and that I wanted to go back to his. As soon as we got back, I grabbed my things and left. He blew up my phone the entire way home but I didn’t answer. I text as soon as I got home and told him it was over. He’s been messaging so much since telling me that I’m out of order, I’m flakey, I don’t know how to have a relationship. I’ve now had to block him but he got another sim and messaged me from that. He said I gave up too easily and am making a mountain out of a molehill.

Was I right to end it there and then?

Thank god you were wearing Uggs as you might not have known to get on the next train back! 😧

Very, very well-handled @MinnyMeen 👏🏻

Walk away! Someone who's jealous of a dog???

What i notice on threads like this is the number of women saying give the bloke another chance!!!

Not this one, thankfully, but the number of tihreads where someone describes awful behaviour and gets lots of give him a chance nobody's perfect explain it to him blah blah replies make me raging mad.

You were not unreasonable in the slightest please stick to your guns. He sounds vile. I am still now having to block 2 exes, one from 23 years ago and another 11 years ago because they create new profiles on SM and try adding me. There are some crazy people out there, stay safe.

Ha ha ha ha ha, a middle aged man jealous of a cute little puppy! 😂 My DH would have whizzed past me on our first date to fuss over a little puppy, and I would have been a few feet behind him.

@MinnyMeen He sounds like a hugely inadequate POS and you are better off without him. As some posters have said, he has shown you who he is very early on. A spoilt, immature attention seeking prick.

Bin him off.

He's mental, well done.

omg op what a control freak glad your not heartbroken by this. that relationship would have never ended happily he really needs to get his control issues sorted out. Pity there isn’t a forum like this for women where you could worn others of all these horrible fuckers.

He's giving you time to "..calm down... - What an absolute knob!

He thinks that once you've "calmed down" you'll come to your senses and realise what a dreadful mistake you've made 😂

Oh dear. He's utterly pathetic.

That part about 'the look on his face' is really chilling. I had a similar brief relationship with a man, love bombing etc. One evening we were heading out, all dressed up etc and as we were waiting for the taxi I looked at him, he was fuming. Full on flared nostrils and fast breathing, he could barely contain his anger. I asked what was wrong and he snarled 'You didn't tell me I look nice'. I laughed as I thought he was joking.

Nope, he wasn't joking and ranted how he'd spent an hour getting ready and I didn't compliment him. That evening wasn't great, he accused me of getting 'wasted' (I had two drinks) and embarrassing him. He didn't come home with me, he got dumped at his own place in the taxi later little prick Then spent a month threatening suicide.

FML what's wrong with these men 🤔

Changing sims to message you is mental - not that the initial blow up is not crazy too, but he went from immature, needy and weird to stalker. Thank god you trusted your instincts.

@MinnyMeen and @Delladuck and all the others too! ❤

Exactly

He came across as lovely online

(which is why id agreed to meet him)

I remember looking at my feet and thinking 'fuck this, I've saved up for months for these,he's not telling me what to wear'

I saw him with an angry look on his face,looking for me as I legged it

I got some very snotty messages but I just ignored them

Well done OP.
Be so proud of how far you have come.
Peace is priceless.

Bloody hell, @Delladuck. That guys sounds terrifying! What an extreme situation. So good that you weren’t already with him - but did he really think you’d actually meet him after he’d sent you that message? He sounds very dangerous.

@MinnyMeen You have 100% done the right thing. Well done.

I love this thread. Obviously I'm sorry it happened but so chuffed to see two women if not more getting rid of these samples the minute the mask slips. They're total whackos but did you both a favour so you could get out sharpish.

I used to think if this happened to me I'd brought it on myself and people please. Not any more.

Slag slippers has made me day.

You've done well OP, hopefully he will back off now.

I would still do a Clare's Law request - if he is known to police they can offer assistance if he persists in trying to contact you x

It was just the way he exploded over a pair of boots
Uggs may have not been to his taste,but I was dawned if anyone was telling me what to wear
It was the 'your my woman now!' (I'd never met him!) that really got me
Not a chance in hell is anyone telling me what I can or cant do
He had more red flags than the Chinese embassy

He’s a fucking weirdo.
Did he show you any signs up until then at all in 5 months ?.
The whole getting a new sim really shows when they’re warped .
I posted on here for advice not that long ago about a guy , but I only went on 2 dates with him beginning of last Summer !!.
Contacting me of diff number several times , on my bday , Valentines night .
I also had to end up deleting my profile over him on a dating App as he started it up again when he had seen I was active on it end of April.
These are strange men .
I hope he leaves you alone OP x

Now that I think back there were some signs but nothing so big that I immediately thought there were any red flags. He was actually very sweet, charming, attentive and affectionate. He had made a few comments about me not spending enough time with him and possibly moving in together but I shut these down straight away and he never brought them up again. I have 4 dc, work full time and am a single parent. He works from home and has no dc or other responsibilities so he has a lot more free time than me. He did bring this up a fair bit and seemed to think that any spare time I had should be spent exclusively with him. Again, I shut this down straight away and I thought he respected that. I think he was really just on his best behaviour until he couldn’t keep it up anymore.

Anyway, he has not messaged me again today so far so I’m hoping my last message to him has sunk in.

Get a 🐶!

You saw the real him. So glad you are safe. Stay away.

RUN!!! Make sure he knows it’s over & have Nothing more to do with Him!!

OP, I just want to say, well fucking done! I think you’re amazing ❤️ if only every woman had the guts to do this at the first sign of controlling behaviour.

I have experienced the silent treatment and marching ahead with my ex, and I don’t know what I put up with it for so long.