AIBU to think my husband is a bit of a dick?

[FlamingoFloss]

I know in the grand scheme of things (and compared to other people and their issues) this may not be a thing, but it is to me. I went away last weekend for three nights. I feed a fox outside my house every single night. I have cats and I feed the fox any leftover food and I have been doing so for well over a year. if I don’t have enough leftover food then I’ve lots of cats food and so I make it up a little bit - my husband knows this. He doesn’t have a problem or he never has and is actually grateful I put the leftover food out rather than putting in the bin as it stops the flies.

So tonight I find out he did not feed the fox for the time that I was away because he doesn’t care apparently. I said to him he knows this is important to me and he said he just doesn’t care and that the cats are even lucky they got fed.

Who is this man who knows that this is a big deal for me and yet just didint even bother? and the fact he’s even said that about feeding our own pets????

Foxes do kill for fun. They can decimate a chicken coop. They're not going to eat them all.

Foxes are wild animals and should not be fed by humans as it changes their behaviour.

No they don't, that's anthropomorphising. It's an instinct-driven behaviour called surplus killing and many predators do it. They kill food when food is available, with the idea being that they'll cache it and then come back for it when they've run out.

Why would he want me stressed and upset when the dog is happy in a kennels for a few night?

Well according to you you're upset multiple times a week over this! And he's fine with that?

No he's not... But our kids are attached and love the dog so getting rid isn't an option. But I can walk away from the dog on a daily basis knowing he is cared for. If my husband is away for a few days there is absolutely no way I am putting myself through that level of torture.

Which is what I would’ve done!

I’m totally with you @BudgetBuster I don’t like dogs, in fact I’m scared of most of them, and I can’t bear to touch them. I would hate to open a tin of dog food, and picking up dog poo would make me feel sick.

I think you’re very good to your DH to agree to him having a dog, I couldn’t have made myself do this, and you discussed your arrangement up front and both agree to it. People calling you a cunt or other insults are totally unreasonable.

How very loving.

Except that he said that he WOULD. If he wasn’t going to, he shouldn’t have said he was going to. Lying to her was a dick move.

We destroy their habitats, what did people think would happen?

I’ve been feeding the foxes for years in our area. The way I see it is that our neighbourhood was built on their home. Why should the foxes not still be welcome! They are sp docile here and eat out of our hands. 🥰 and yes your husband is being a dick! Even more so with the comments about your cats!! I get it that some people don’t care about wildlife but the cats are your actual pets! I would get rid of hubby and replace with another pet 😉

Exactly. And he lied about the fox and said he didn’t care about the cats. Making it clear that he doesn’t value what is important to her. Lying AND not caring. Not a good combo, whether she should be feeding a fox or not is a side issue. He didn’t not feed the fox on moral/ environmental grounds. He’s just a lazy, self-centered dick.

Because he agreed to. He could have been honest and said no.

You’re a bigger dick for not feeding them.

This with bells on!! 👏

Please don’t feed foxes. The level of fox shit in my garden last year was horrific. Then we found out a neighbour was feeding them . They shit everywhere and it means the garden can’t be used. They are not supposed to be fed.
edited to add, he absolutely should have fed your cats.

I love foxes however after the local fox whom my neighbours donate their leftovers to (cos they are too mean to spend money on compost bin) enticed the fox too many times and he mauled my cat I have to say I can see why people are not meant to entice them into urban areas so no your husband is not a dick, you are and you may think again about your wonderful local fox if he or she ever gets hold of your cat.

Sorry wrong poster

As requested

https://www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/wildlife/foxes/garden

Did you mean to tag someone else as I haven't requested anything?

My dh has been chased when out for a run by foxes where here. Its happened many times. And he wasnt running through woods etc where a set might be, this was along a main road through our town. So where it says they dont usually pose a threat they can

Goodness knows what happened there.

LMAO Girl bye, leave that man alone. I couldn’t stop laughing!!!

It’s not the fox I have an issue with it’s the “lucky the cats got fed”
your husband isn’t a dick. He is a cunt.

Foxes: leave out water and supplement feed at extreme times like winter or heatwaves. Don't feed every day as they need to be self sufficient in case a lazy husband can't be bothered to feed them.
Cats: He is legally responsible for feeding your pets if he's said he will.
Yes, he's a dick.

Take no notice of the 'don't feed the fox' people OP.

If 'foxes shouldn't be in urban areas' where exactly do these people propose the foxes should live - given that we have built roads, railways and motorways pretty much everywhere and most places are urban and inhabited by humans and their infrastructures and / or industry?

In the countryside foxes are hunted. In urban areas or near motorways, only 1 in 5 foxes live beyond a year due to traffic. This is tragic.

So good for you OP. At least this fox will know some kindness in its short life. I also feed a fox and think of it as a micro reparation for the centuries of fox hunting and road killing that we have thrust upon their species.

And yes, you DH is awful and I would be very upset if my DH did that. He's on strict instructions if I'm ever not here and he'll do it.