AIBU to think my husband is a bit of a dick?

[FlamingoFloss]

I know in the grand scheme of things (and compared to other people and their issues) this may not be a thing, but it is to me. I went away last weekend for three nights. I feed a fox outside my house every single night. I have cats and I feed the fox any leftover food and I have been doing so for well over a year. if I don’t have enough leftover food then I’ve lots of cats food and so I make it up a little bit - my husband knows this. He doesn’t have a problem or he never has and is actually grateful I put the leftover food out rather than putting in the bin as it stops the flies.

So tonight I find out he did not feed the fox for the time that I was away because he doesn’t care apparently. I said to him he knows this is important to me and he said he just doesn’t care and that the cats are even lucky they got fed.

Who is this man who knows that this is a big deal for me and yet just didint even bother? and the fact he’s even said that about feeding our own pets????

Not your decision to make.

We both WFH, our dog is walked twice a day, brought to doggy agility at weekends, and has free use of the downstairs and garden. I'll fill his water, wash his blankets, buy all his food, let him in and out, talk to him etc. But I cannot cope with touching animals (any animal) or the smell of dog food.

If we happened to just be out for a prolonged day, we pay our teen neighbour to mind the dog. If one overnight I'll mind him but I mentally cannot cope with multiple days on end.

The kids love him, my DH loves him, I tolerate him like a roommate 😂 He's actually a lovely dog but I have my limits.

You are lucky the damn fox hasn't eaten your cat. Any fox seen round our place gets shot.

Aw. The poor baby.

Yes he is a dick if he agreed to him then just decided not to.

Likewise for the OP 😂

n

Well done for feeding the foxes!! Need more people to give a damn!

Think you are on the wrong thread, the fox isn’t due any CMS

Errrr wrong thread?

I’d be upset too.
I feed leftovers to the foxes because our bins aren’t being emptied right now due to heat? So I thought it would get rid of it! I don’t do it all the time though. I did start feeding a hedgehog but saw the fox eating the food. I hate the fox poo and smell all over the garden and have a little dog who gets upset when she can smell someone has been in her garden!

I do love all animals and know I shouldn’t feed them but still do!

Your husband sounds selfish. However I am pretty sure some people lack the ability to give a shit! My neighbour has a guinea pig she rarely feeds or cleans out, I’ve been popping over when she’s gone out putting nice greens in its cage. She admittedly said she doesn’t care about it (I want to steal it but that’s another post!) DH doesn’t get it as he just doesn’t think about these things or let it enter his mind! Whereas I obsess over it and feel sorry for them!

Another example house near us had a baby seagull fallen off the roof and one stuck in the gutter struggling! They called appropriate people who couldn’t do anything but they ignored it until it fell to it’s death, I would have stood under it with a bed sheet 😂 The other one that fell then got eaten by foxes that night! I wanted to go over and rescue it before that happened or leave food and water but it wasn’t my house or place to! Then again it’s nature and I know we shouldn’t intervene!

I would feed a fox that came into my garden too. You're a kind person.

Poor girl. I'm so glad she's back. I don't understand people's lack of empathy. You sound like my kind of person. Keep doing what you're doing. It's so hard when we realise people aren't like us. I found a cat under my stairs. He had been in an accident, and his eye had popped out. I found some painkillers. I have a good few pets and quite the medicine cabinet. It was a Sunday night; there was no emergency vet near me. I spent a long time working out what dose I could give him, and then I locked him in the bathroom until I could get him to a vet the next morning. I was telling two friends about it, and they both said they'd have turfed him out of the house. I couldn't wrap my head around it.

You’ve worked out a solution that works for you, your husband and the dog.

I don’t see a problem with it once I got past my knee jerk reaction and thought about it more logically.

I can't believe you make him do this! Are you disabled or just a cunt?

Which animal charity or wildlife experts are you basing this reply on? Because you’re not meant to fed foxes. It does them more harm than good. Unless that advice has changed? If it has, I’d appreciate a link to it.

This is a valid point, that you seem to be missing. Foxes are wild animals, they fend for themselves or at least, they should be able to. You didn't feed it for three days and either a) the fox starved, which illustrates why you shouldn't be feeding it like a pet in the first place, or b) the fox was perfectly fine and did what most wild animals do. found it's own food, so no need for you to keep on feeding it. DH shouldn't have agreed to do it and then not bother, he should have just said no in the first place.

You're the reason many pets have been killed where I live. Utter idiots feeding foxes who then happily wonder through all gardens killing whatever they can

You are being unreasonable, as part of your argument is that you leave out scraps that would otherwise go in the bin for the foxes. Maybe your husband had no scraps leftover ftom dinner to feed them. Unless you eat meat with bones every day why are you consistently having leftover food to put outside, it would more likely be an occasional thing, which sounds less of a problem for the fox’s wellbeing based on information shared on this thread.

Of course you are also unreasonable to feed foxes anyway and your refusal to engage on that subject is also unreasonable, so based on that i can’t really agree your husband is a dick, the fact is he did feed your cats and possibly made an exasperated joke.

Foxes don’t kill for fun, so it’s odd they’re killing so many pets if they are already being fed. Maybe your neighbours should ensure their pets are properly protected at night.

Feeding wild foxes is generally discouraged because it can harm their health, alter natural behaviours, and create conflicts with humans.

Risks of Feeding Foxes
Feeding foxes can have several unintended consequences. Human food is often nutritionally inadequate, high in fat, sugar, or salt, which can cause digestive issues, malnutrition, and dental problems for foxes Regular feeding can make foxes lose their natural fear of humans, leading to bold or aggressive behaviour, increased risk of bites, and potential culling if they are perceived as a threat . Concentrated feeding can also increase local fox populations, elevate stress, and facilitate the spread of diseases like sarcoptic mange, canine distemper, and parvovirus

Behavioural and Ecological Impacts
Foxes that rely on human-provided food may lose their natural foraging instincts, becoming dependent on people for survival Feeding can attract other wildlife, including rodents or larger predators, which may disrupt local ecosystems Artificially abundant food can also encourage foxes to breed more prolifically than the habitat can support, creating long-term ecological imbalances.

There are already links on the thread. Here’s another one. However I think there is different advice for different areas. Maybe the OP could check what’s best locally.

https://www.lancswt.org.uk/blog/how-feed-foxes-badgers-garden

Well I could have made him not have a dog....

Id feed fox , badgers crows and anything I feel wants it .

They do. Foxes pulled the runs off the hutch which were secured. There are a lot of foxes here we have neighbours who feed them and we see them from dusk wandering the street. I've never seen so many or them so bold before. And yes they have killed for fun, they leave the carcass. Again never known that before either