AIBU to think my husband is a bit of a dick?

[FlamingoFloss]

I know in the grand scheme of things (and compared to other people and their issues) this may not be a thing, but it is to me. I went away last weekend for three nights. I feed a fox outside my house every single night. I have cats and I feed the fox any leftover food and I have been doing so for well over a year. if I don’t have enough leftover food then I’ve lots of cats food and so I make it up a little bit - my husband knows this. He doesn’t have a problem or he never has and is actually grateful I put the leftover food out rather than putting in the bin as it stops the flies.

So tonight I find out he did not feed the fox for the time that I was away because he doesn’t care apparently. I said to him he knows this is important to me and he said he just doesn’t care and that the cats are even lucky they got fed.

Who is this man who knows that this is a big deal for me and yet just didint even bother? and the fact he’s even said that about feeding our own pets????

That would be it for me. Anyone who doesnt care about his own animals wouldnt be living in my house.

Waiting for the huge drip feed of how else the husband is an arse

Foxes are vermin. Do you feed rats as well?

With the cats, was he definitely being serious, or was he joking?

only because I know my dad would absolutely say that to my mum, but he isn’t being serious, and does in fact like both their cats. Tone matters just as much as the words used.

Disagree with feeding the fox.

He’s a dick for the cat comment. I’d be fairly certain he is having some kind of sulk about the fact you went away for 3 days.

I'd be annoyed about the comment about the cats and I'd be annoyed that he said he'd do something and then not do it. It's fair enough that he doesn't want to feed the foxes but he should have said that. Yanbu to think he's a dick for that and his attitude towards your feelings.

He's more than a bit of a dick, he's deliberately putting you in a position where you can't go away without worrying he won't feed your pets. It's a type of control, and very unpleasant.

Yes that's right. Couldn't possibly be about that her behaviour in feeding the foxes is outrageously stupid could it?

One day those foxes will attack your cat as they will feel it is their territory. Stop interfering with nature

They're indulging themselves. They don't care that they're deskilling these animals and putting them at risk of starvation if their human source of food suddenly disappears.

@FlamingoFloss someone who doesn't care about animals,in the wild or domesticated, is in my book a piece of shit.
Not surprised you're upset.

You are being SO unreasonable. Your Animals of Farthing Wood dream is selfish and not in the best interest of the fox or you/your neighbours.

The Fox Project states that you can feed foxes, but you must do so responsibly to protect their health and keep them wild. They strongly advocate for "Good Feeders" who use supplementary food to help foxes survive hard winters or cub-rearing seasons, rather than making them dependent.

The RSPCA does not encourage or recommend feeding foxes, as wild foxes easily find enough natural food themselves. However, if you choose to feed them, do so responsibly on occasion with small amounts of safe food, infrequently, and never hand-feed them.

Why the RSPCA Advises Caution
Loss of Natural Skills: Regular feeding can make foxes dependent on humans and lose their natural hunting abilities.
Territory Changes: Heavily feeding a fox can shrink its territory to as little as 10% of its normal size, which can lead to overpopulation and conflict with other foxes in the area.
Neighbour Issues: Foxes may bury ("cache") leftover food in neighbours' gardens or cause a nuisance, so it is best to speak with your neighbours first.

Years ago we went to view a property in central london (Zone1) which on paper looked great and a bargain. We looked into the garden which was completely obliterated, holes throughout. A family of six foxes were brazenly on a shed roof, in the middle of the day. This is not normal fox behaviour. The estate agent said the previous owners had fed foxes, had had countless neighbour disputes, and now their home was unsellable even at a substantial discount. Their neighbours were also affected.

This is exactly what happened with me and my neighbour.
The fox she'd been feeding went for my cat.
Luckily the cat got away.

Actually you are, because the neighbour to the back of me feeds foxes and we regularly have foxes in our garden as a result. They just chill in our garden, day or night. Our children’s garden toys have been destroyed and we regularly have fox poo.

So you think you’re doing a kindness but really your changing their behaviours and their habitat and causing a nuisance to your neighbours.

That is a good point, I wonder why he wouldn't bother to cover his tracks.
OP's words were "So tonight I find out", maybe the fox has stopped coming if it hasn't been fed for a few days and she asked on this basis.
I love trying to work out what guess randomly went on in the households that give rise to these trivial argument threads.

Don’t 👏🏻 feed 👏🏻 foxes!

You are both dicks. And you are as big a dick as he is

Foxes are feral. Don't feed them. The man in this article runs a fox charity and even he says don't feed them.

Should I feed foxes? We ask an expert | Wildlife | The Guardian https://share.google/oeWWVkJ0TAhTmRr9Z

Yabu

He shouldn’t have agreed to it if he wasn’t going to do it. That’s the issue here, regardless of whether it’s a good idea to feed wild foxes or not. He clearly doesn’t see the fox as his responsibility and he’s fair enough to think that, but he shouldn’t have said yes if he wasn’t going to do it at all.

This. I know of two cats killed by foxes - one was ours and the other a farm cat killed in full view.

Don’t feed fucking foxes. Your DH probably feels the same way.

At least you’ll be able to dispose of his body easily …

Nope I wouldn’t have fed the fox either. You’re soft in the head for doing so, and I bet your dh is sick of hearing you go on about wild animal that anyone with any sense knows you shouldn’t be feeding. The comment about the cats being lucky to get fed sounds like an exasperated, flippant remark.

Pretty awful to say that about the family pets which I’m assuming he agreed to having.
I regularly go away over a weekend with my children as my DH works every Saturday.
I take 2 dogs with me and leave his dog at home (as it goes to work with him) a cat and small furries. They all get fed without comment.
He also soaks calciworms in the morning and then puts them out for the birds in the garden.
Not because he particularly has strong feelings about supporting our nesting birds over the summer but because he knows I do it and I enjoy them visiting the garden.
I wouldn’t be annoyed if he forgot to do the bird bath or do the worms because it’s a me thing not a him thing to want to do but I love the fact that he does it.
If he commented that our pets were lucky they were fed, I would tell him to stop being a dick.